tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post1515657586065787467..comments2024-03-18T08:02:51.154-07:00Comments on Had Enough Therapy?: Talking CuresStuart Schneidermanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12784043736879991769noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post-71217892724849050512015-10-07T23:51:54.340-07:002015-10-07T23:51:54.340-07:00That makes me all religious. Seeing God's face...That makes me all religious. Seeing God's face is man's desire.Matnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post-85942151037567592252015-10-07T07:05:05.424-07:002015-10-07T07:05:05.424-07:00Stuart: ...when you are speaking to someone face-t...Stuart: ...when you are speaking to someone face-to-face you will have much more difficulty avoiding responsibility for what you say. <br /><br />I can go back and forth on all of this. I'd tend to consider that it is easier to take responsibility in writing because <br />(1) You have time for a measured response, compared to a gut reaction in person that might be unkind <br />(2) You can't undo what you've written and shared, while ignoring recording devices, you can deny what you just said, or claim you said something else, or meant something else.<br /><br />And I don't feel rejected when someone isn't looking at me. I might feel more self-conscious and distracted by continual eye contact.<br /><br />But of course the advantage of face-to-face communication (or one-on-one in general) is that you can adapt what you're saying based on how the other person is responding, so like if they seem bored or distracted or upset, you'll know you're probably not being heard, and you can halt and see what the other person needs before trying to continue.<br /><br />I've heard it claimed, maybe first by Deborah Tannen, that women will tend to communicate face-to-face more, and men side-to-side more, without paying attention to facial clues. OTOH, vision however quick, might be the least accurate of our senses, and listening how someone says something might be more important. Of course you can do both, but not everyone might be as skilled in taking in sight and sounds and "hear" both well?<br />Here's one:<br />https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/he-speaks-she-speaks/201404/why-you-stand-side-side-or-face-face<br />-----------<br />• The Vis-à-Vis Frame. When two people come together, they greet and address each other in a face-to-face position. They will adjust the distance between themselves according to their ethnic traditions, their level of intimacy, their prior relationship, their business together, and the available physical space and circumstance. The vis-à-vis frame is a prerequisite for making eye contact.<br /><br />• The Side-by-Side Frame. Often, this is a communication choice, especially among men. It precludes eye contact. However, sometimes unrelated people assume a side-by-side position by accident or because of the physical nature of their circumstances. They happen to be walking in the same direction or they sit down on the same bench or the same seat on a bus. In this case, they may have no other relation to each other.<br />-------------<br />Ares Olympushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09726811306826601686noreply@blogger.com