tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post2111470374593551774..comments2024-03-29T04:06:37.402-07:00Comments on Had Enough Therapy?: When Rudeness Begets RudenessStuart Schneidermanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12784043736879991769noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post-72065627536013102192015-11-25T12:37:54.194-08:002015-11-25T12:37:54.194-08:00I have to say, I don't find SCIENTIFIC AMERICA...I have to say, I don't find SCIENTIFIC AMERICAN as scientific or as American as it was 40 years ago.Sam L.https://www.blogger.com/profile/00996809377798862214noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post-65696715930523131812015-11-25T07:20:52.134-08:002015-11-25T07:20:52.134-08:00This is surely good as far as it goes, except for ...This is surely good as far as it goes, except for the problem perhaps that to degrees rudeness is "in the eye of the beholder."<br /><br />The simplest definition of rudeness might be someone who puts their needs above others, BUT in order for you to be assertive, you risk implying your needs are more important than theirs, like the confused "microaggression" narrative. And the worst confusion is when your mind lies to you and you imagine not only are they offensive, but they are offensive on purpose, trying to upset you.<br /><br />So the first step in dealing with rudeness is to be able to recognize when you're taking someone else's behavior personally, and "own" that reaction as your problem, not theirs. <br /><br />And the instant you feel sure "other people have to change" in order for your feelings to be satisfied, you risk being a hypocrite, doing do others what you claim they're doing, hence "rudeness begetting rudeness."<br /><br />So it would seem the first step to keep yourself in a positive frame of mind where ordinary small frustrations don't lead to you making other people responsible for your feelings.<br /><br />Until you can gain that minimal level of emotional regulation, the whole question risks confusion and hypocrisy.<br />Ares Olympushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09726811306826601686noreply@blogger.com