tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post2172903010375406367..comments2024-03-26T06:17:49.527-07:00Comments on Had Enough Therapy?: The Apologetic SexStuart Schneidermanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12784043736879991769noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post-43396840144948559472010-12-05T07:25:48.087-08:002010-12-05T07:25:48.087-08:00One time when I was going into town I came across ...One time when I was going into town I came across my son going home. The road was very curvy and he was cutting all the corners to get home faster. After I got home we had a little talk about his driving skills and attention to the rules.<br />Part of that conversation was about habits that one attains through life. The point was that habits become habits because we constantly reinforce them by our actions. I mentioned to him that life consists of a number of learned habits that govern how we act. <br />We can by our actions make them into good or bad habits. The real problem or saving grace is that when things get tough we will automatically lean on those habits. In his case the day may come when he is under pressure and that bad habit will get him killed.<br />The moral for him, and I suppose others, is that if we consciously attempt to develop good habits that they will be there when we are under extreme pressure.Dennisnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post-6821425466702416982010-12-04T15:41:48.172-08:002010-12-04T15:41:48.172-08:00TO: All
RE: Confidence?!!??!?!?!, Anyone?
Actuall...TO: All<br />RE: Confidence?!!??!?!?!, Anyone?<br /><br />Actually....<br /><br /><i> Confidence might be a state of mind, but the best way to gain it and to keep it is to behave as though you have it.</i> -- Stuart Schneiderman<br /><br />....the "best way to gain it" is to do the thing. And do it again and again until you are confident with doing and doing it well. That requires 'practice'. And, admittedly, the good doctor is talking about that as well. <br /><br />As my 'mentor' at the Army Command & General Staff College put it, "Practice makes permanent. I'LL make you 'perfect' [at doing it right.]" Once you have it down pat, i.e., 'perfect', there's no need to 'apologize'. <br /><br />On the other hand we have John Wayne—as a senior officer in the US Army Cavalry—in She Wore a Yellow Ribbon, counselling, i.e., admonishing, subordinate lieutenants, "Never apologize. It's a sign of weakness." <br /><br />On the third hand, based on experience in the military and corporate environments, it's not good to 'apologize'. Unless you are certainly identified as being totally FUBAR.<br /><br />Even then, you can apologize for being caught in situations of circumstance wherein you have no control. Case in point....<br /><br />....my Sister married an Iranian. Three guesses as to what became of my 'security clearance'. First two don't count....<br /><br />What was I saying about 'having it all'? It might not be 'Your Way'. But still and all....you CAN have it 'all'.<br /><br />Regards,<br /><br />Chuck(le)<br />[Life is a game of 'chance'. And you've just been finessed.]Chuck Peltohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00407516830005550495noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post-14717677836136933242010-12-04T10:19:21.044-08:002010-12-04T10:19:21.044-08:00I think a lot depends on birth order. My spouse i...I think a lot depends on birth order. My spouse is an only child and I am the oldest, so we are both bossy boots who hate apologizing, both seldom wrong and never in doubt. We've both had to learn how to apologize, over the years. In fact, at times, it's been the kids who have shamed us into it when we were behaving like brats. <br /><br />By contrast, my late younger brother was a very kind and accomodating husband. I suspect it had something to do with my sister and I having been such tyrannical older sisters. Sheer terror taught him to apologize early, apologize often to keep the Amazons from destroying him...well, not really, but as the adored baby of the family, he was very agreeable, and wanted to make people happy. <br /><br />I suspect that oldest kids and only kids are likelier to be pig-headed and insist that they are right more often. Until some sense gets knocked into them by life...Retrieverhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09036341287285545932noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post-79593268688060548102010-12-04T09:02:31.525-08:002010-12-04T09:02:31.525-08:00In passing, I would only say that a large percenta...In passing, I would only say that a large percentage of a husband's apologies are directed at getting "that look" off the wife's face.<br /><br />He might or might not actually be "sorry," but removing "that look" is the immediate stimulus.vanderleunnoreply@blogger.com