tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post3179538556662828506..comments2024-03-26T06:17:49.527-07:00Comments on Had Enough Therapy?: How To Deal with Toxic IndividualsStuart Schneidermanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12784043736879991769noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post-86509382259168842652014-10-27T20:56:24.246-07:002014-10-27T20:56:24.246-07:00I don't much like the label "toxic",...I don't much like the label "toxic", as if there was a singular category that can manage all sorts of people problems or problem people as the case may be. And if there are a million categories of toxicity, then perhaps there's also a million categories of advice how to handle it.<br /><br />A first question is whether there can be any objective diagnosis, I mean if you're an extreme atheist with a fear of being manipulated, you may label a religious person toxic, while 99% of other people will be perfectly fine around this person.<br /><br />So under such cases, it would seem more an issue of projection.<br /><br />If we're willing to skip the objective categories and just say subjectively "This person is toxic to me", causing regular allergic reactions, then you don't have to blame the other person for being different than you, but take responsibility for your own reaction, and learn what boundaries you need to accept that person as they are.<br /><br />When I was a kid in the 70's for a number of years my dad joined a New Age church, and they taught love and kindness, and positivity as the answer to all life problems.<br /><br />Interestingly into the 90's I heard they ended up moving their commune to Montana and stockpiling guns for when the government collapsed.<br /><br />So they successfully got rid of all the toxic people I guess, but also ended projecting all their demons onto the external world, and had no way to integrate themselves in the world without avoiding it entirely.<br /><br />So the virtue of Spiritual Purity wasn't the right standard to be able to handle the low-grade toxicity of ordinary life.<br />Ares Olympushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09726811306826601686noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post-63584920800023908772014-10-27T12:44:40.701-07:002014-10-27T12:44:40.701-07:00My sister used to say, "Nobody loves me, ever...My sister used to say, "Nobody loves me, everybody hates me, I'm going to go eat worms."<br /><br />I haven't had to deal with toxic individuals for some time, but it seems to me that asking if they've tried eating worms would derail their 100-car train of complaint, and allow one to ask what they've tried as solutions.<br /><br />Your mileage may vary.<br /><br />The anti-robot text was exceptionally clear today!Sam L.https://www.blogger.com/profile/00996809377798862214noreply@blogger.com