tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post4371251240435500729..comments2024-03-29T04:06:37.402-07:00Comments on Had Enough Therapy?: The Hookup Culture at PennStuart Schneidermanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12784043736879991769noreply@blogger.comBlogger18125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post-31528336185689407162013-07-18T14:16:35.807-07:002013-07-18T14:16:35.807-07:00Some research has been done on some of these issue...Some research has been done on some of these issues. Here's a link a post by Ross Douthat this afternoon: http://douthat.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/07/18/love-in-the-time-of-hookups/Stuart Schneidermanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12784043736879991769noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post-73731494853539071492013-07-18T13:38:36.903-07:002013-07-18T13:38:36.903-07:00This article, which borrows from the Hannah Rubin ...This article, which borrows from the Hannah Rubin theory, screams out to be tested. I bet the ones who marry relatively early do better over time, than the ones who marry in their early 30s. I also bet that there are many costs -- broken hearts, costs of IVF, social diseases, abortions, etc -- that are never measured. Some Ivy League sociologist should run a longitudinal study of outcomes/happiness, family stability, divorce, number of children, and success in chosen career by age of marriage, and number of prior relationships/hook ups. <br /><br />Very hard to imagine what a society led by these people will be like -- and what their children will even have the option of understanding about human relationships, love and long term committment. dragonladynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post-41623368070439004902013-07-16T06:43:20.291-07:002013-07-16T06:43:20.291-07:00JP,
For your edification: http://spectator.org/bl...JP,<br /><br />For your edification: http://spectator.org/blog/2013/07/15/trayvon-crime-school-miamiDennishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14962996070458991675noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post-27843761997453492132013-07-16T05:29:46.801-07:002013-07-16T05:29:46.801-07:00JP,
Thanks
I know of at least two cases where a ...JP,<br /><br />Thanks<br /><br />I know of at least two cases where a DA did not bring cases to trial, both in Illinois, for lack of evidence and he believed the defendant were not guilty. He subsequently got defeated in the election for not prosecuting these cases. Eventually both people were exonerated and the DA was reelected three times after that.<br />I may rail against the law, and lawyers, where I think it/they have gone wrong, but I have a lot of respect for those few who play by the rules and are willing to put their profession on the line to defend a person despite the desire of interest groups to have a politically show trial.<br />Had there been a grand jury this trial would not have happened. That was the place to have this aired, not in the manner that it was. There is a real reason why we have grand juries. No instead of one fiasco we are going to have a significant number of fiascos that might lead to disbarment. truly not well thought out.Dennishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14962996070458991675noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post-88212445515291107192013-07-15T14:08:29.464-07:002013-07-15T14:08:29.464-07:00Thanks, Laurel for the comment. Perhaps I didn'...Thanks, Laurel for the comment. Perhaps I didn't express myself very clearly, but I was trying to compare the difference between having a relationship that may or may work out and having a hookup that will clearly never become more than that. A lost relationship must be far more painful than a ONS that never becomes more than that, but I think that people who protect themselves from relationships by having ONS are lowering their risks but also lower the potential for rewards.<br /><br />I take your point that many young people today try out a hookup or a ONS a couple of times to see what all the fuss is about. It seems to have become something of a rite of passage. A person who makes a habit of it, or who becomes known as a hookup will probably have difficulty forming a relationship-- if only because other people do not see him or her as trustworthy. A person who does it and forgets it will not suffer the same consequences.Stuart Schneidermanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12784043736879991769noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post-25459720229087076162013-07-15T13:57:46.776-07:002013-07-15T13:57:46.776-07:00Hi, Stuart. I think being rejected after you have ...Hi, Stuart. I think being rejected after you have a real relationship that's gone on for more than a year, a relationship where you've said ILU and meant it---that is a LOT more painful than a "casual" sexual relationship that didn't go anywhere.<br /><br />Okay, I had a couple of not-so-serious sexual relationships in college, I don't really want to call them casual because they weren't ONS, the guy was someone I knew somehow, and I wasn't drunk. (Maybe just a little, but I always knew what I was doing.) I don't think they did me any harm, or ruined me emotionally, certainly didn't keep me from being able to fall in love HARD with someone later. And that breakup, very very painful, though I'm sure I'll survive.<br /><br />Someone who has lots of ONS hookups with guys she has just met, especially when she's drunk, yeah, that's really bad. But there's a big range in between.<br /><br />LaurelAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post-1082268615990880032013-07-15T12:30:40.441-07:002013-07-15T12:30:40.441-07:00According to a 30-year study referenced in comment...According to a 30-year study referenced in comment #2 at this post:<br /><br />http://maggiesfarm.anotherdotcom.com/archives/22553-Alcohol,-the-hook-up-culture,-and-college-rape.html#comments<br /><br />...almost every woman had her first sexual experience when drunk, and regretted it. Most of the boys were also drunk on their first sexual experience, but did not regret it.<br /><br />Personally, I'd think if one is so drunk on their first sexual experience that he or she can't even remember it next morning, that's sad.David Fosterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15464681514800720063noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post-4073803253964544092013-07-15T12:27:45.873-07:002013-07-15T12:27:45.873-07:00Stuart...I've written quite a few posts about ...Stuart...I've written quite a few posts about the teaching of faux self-esteem...for example, A Superheated 'Steem Explosion:<br /><br />http://photoncourier.blogspot.com/2005_02_01_archive.html#110877050132189896<br /><br />This search link will get most of the other ones:<br /><br />http://www.google.com/#output=search&sclient=psy-ab&q=site:photoncourier.blogspot.com+'steem&oq=site:photoncourier.blogspot.com+'steem&gs_l=hp.3...293.9680.0.9858.40.38.1.0.0.0.266.4069.24j12j2.38.0....0...1c.1.19.psy-ab.bVUbwLf4uA4&pbx=1&bav=on.2,or.r_qf.&bvm=bv.48705608,d.dmg&fp=58c87a31b81c96ba&biw=1322&bih=671David Fosterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15464681514800720063noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post-20048572319965998672013-07-15T10:31:55.974-07:002013-07-15T10:31:55.974-07:00Very interesting point, David. Of course, being so...Very interesting point, David. Of course, being so brittle is a sign of depression... so it makes a lot of sense to me. Have you written about it somewhere.<br /><br />It's worth noting that these people who cannot risk rejection sometimes choose to do the rejecting themselves, pre-emptively. And yet, the basis of the hookup culture is constant rejection... though, as you note, with a lesser investment of time and emotion. Stuart Schneidermanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12784043736879991769noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post-70967828699998737162013-07-15T09:18:30.251-07:002013-07-15T09:18:30.251-07:00Anon 5:35.."Relationship? You can't prove...Anon 5:35.."Relationship? You can't prove that love exists using the scientific method. And the scientific method is the only valid way for college students to evaluate whether something is real or worthy. Intoxication is chemical, and thus provable. An orgasm is a neuro-physical phenomenon, and thus provable. But love? That's complicated."<br /><br />Interesting theory. But is the girl who is a math or science major *really* likely to be less romantic than the girl who is, say, a "communications" major or even a liberal arts major?<br /><br />I think excessive building of "self-esteem" has more to do with this behavior than does any scientific/materialistic worldview. I think there are a lot of young people, of both sexes, whose self-esteem is so brittle that they simply cannot risk rejection by someone to whom they have allowed themselves to strongly connect emotionally.<br />David Fosterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15464681514800720063noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post-41294760508008002652013-07-15T08:04:23.758-07:002013-07-15T08:04:23.758-07:00"Here is a question for you? It seems to me t..."Here is a question for you? It seems to me that the Zimmerman trial has much in common with the DUKE race case. The same race, sexual, components, the rush to judgment by interest groups, and a very large political component that needs cases like this to justify their continual need to feel superior and think ill of others. It would almost seem that those who call racism are indeed more racists than it would appear the defendants in either case were/are."<br /><br />There is a major difference between the two cases in my mind.<br /><br />The Duke case is more along the lines of what you are pointing to here.<br /><br />The Zimmerman case is one in which a killing resulted in a fiasco; however without the media frenzy, there might not have been a trial. <br /><br />I know of one specific case where there was *not* a trial under Zimmermanish circumstances. In that case, the prosecutor did not bring the case because he knew that he would lose.<br /><br />If you have somebody dead in a situation like Zimmerman's case, and you want to make jury trials a cornerstone of the judicial system, then the least you can do is have a trial when somebody is killed.<br />JPhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11126071014909954387noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post-22444724850637681892013-07-15T05:45:49.561-07:002013-07-15T05:45:49.561-07:00JP,
Here is a question for you? It seems to me t...JP,<br /><br />Here is a question for you? It seems to me that the Zimmerman trial has much in common with the DUKE race case. The same race, sexual, components, the rush to judgment by interest groups, and a very large political component that needs cases like this to justify their continual need to feel superior and think ill of others. It would almost seem that those who call racism are indeed more racists than it would appear the defendants in either case were/are.<br />Junior,<br /><br />Did you ever wonder why some many young women are gaining the attributes of grown women so quickly and larger numbers of young men are moving away from manhood? I think the answer to that question will go a long way to solving what seems like a growing riff between the sexes. I would suggest that the survival of this country hinges on the answers. Brainstorming.Dennishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14962996070458991675noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post-58065100685166562532013-07-15T05:35:01.516-07:002013-07-15T05:35:01.516-07:00Remember: these Penn kids are smart. Wicked smart...Remember: these Penn kids are smart. Wicked smart. High SAT scores. Great analytical intelligence. They're the best of the best. They're ready for careers at Google and Goldman Sachs and they are going to make a ton of money and be able to buy whatever they want. <br /><br />Relationship? You can't prove that love exists using the scientific method. And the scientific method is the only valid way for college students to evaluate whether something is real or worthy. Intoxication is chemical, and thus provable. An orgasm is a neuro-physical phenomenon, and thus provable. But love? That's complicated. Love doesn't follow rules. Love can't be validated in double-blind testing within three standard deviations. <br /><br />The only thing that is real is "The Will to Power." Power is the measuring stick of success... you've either got it, or you don't. Kind of like body measurements. Love is an outdated concept. Love is meaningless. You can't prove it. Who needs love when you can have a career???<br /><br />People are such unpredictable creatures. Much easier to just get drunk, have sex and then there's a "real" experience. Relationships are complicated, and who has the time?<br /><br />If you think this is depressing, have a conversation with one of these young ladies. It's real.<br /><br />TipAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post-68267120973120050842013-07-15T05:07:38.137-07:002013-07-15T05:07:38.137-07:00This is another sad and depressing piece about mod...This is another sad and depressing piece about modern women. <br /><br />It is interesting to note that there were women featured at the end of the article that didn't go along with the hookup culture and saw it for the sham that it was. <br /><br />Men seeking marriage today need to find those women. I would strongly advise them against the hookup girls who have ruined themselves. <br /><br />I want tube clear that I mean they are ruined emotionally since by their own admission their only connection to sex is through "hot" men who they think are "good in bed". These men don't care about these women so how will they ever learn to fully open up and love a man who does love and care for them? They likely won't be able to do so. <br /><br />These women are not worth the risk. They are divorcees waiting to happen. If a man has kids with a woman like this he is signing up for a lifetime of heartbreak. Juniornoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post-70878853409495485622013-07-15T02:29:37.342-07:002013-07-15T02:29:37.342-07:00I don't know how widespread, nor how accurate ...I don't know how widespread, nor how accurate my observations are, but it seems that for some young women of my acquaintance the deep involvement in sports leads them, while apparently not so oriented, to spend a lot of time in lesbian bars and other social environments which I suspect is a deterrent to husband-prospect approaches.Larry Sheldonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12653436584890594776noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post-66800596974071801272013-07-14T09:13:32.620-07:002013-07-14T09:13:32.620-07:00@Dennis:
The number of legal jobs peaked in 2004 ...@Dennis:<br /><br />The number of legal jobs peaked in 2004 and only now, in 2013, have we reached the peak production of lawyers.<br /><br />And the layoff axe has started on the high end of BigLaw. <br /><br />Again.<br /><br />That being said, the negative feedback look is functioning in law as the number of people seeking to be larded up with massive amounts of debt for law school is actually declining.JPhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11126071014909954387noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post-39061238802140759202013-07-14T07:19:02.136-07:002013-07-14T07:19:02.136-07:00From the article: “We don’t really like each other...From the article: “We don’t really like each other in person, sober,” she said, adding that “we literally can’t sit down and have coffee.”<br /><br />If she's not sober, he's guilty of rape, because she can't consent. This is what feminists and campus activists have been telling us for years.<br /><br />Feminists are trying to have it both ways on this issue. In this article women are "in control." In others, they have no agency, to the point where Title IX had to be brought in to remove due process for men when it came to sexual assault charges. So which is it? Are college women in control or victims?<br /><br />Whatever the case, a third party should step in and charge the guy with rape because she couldn't consent.<br /><br />PS -- If you got off Google's awful Blogger and went to WordPress, commenting would be easier and your blog would have the popularity it deserves. The layout makes for easier reading too.<br /><br />-- Days of Broken Arrows.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post-26545527917286765502013-07-14T07:06:34.413-07:002013-07-14T07:06:34.413-07:00I often wonder what is going to happen to these pe...I often wonder what is going to happen to these people when they realize that so many of them got the same degrees that they are subjected to the laws of supply and demand? The larger the supply the lower the demand, and monetary rewards, will be for the job market. The vast majority of these degrees don't require one to know how things actually work. They are far more art than science.<br />If their sisters are so willing to sell themselves cheaply then what do they expect is going to be required of them? The pendulum always swings both ways. Set a low standard for the people one allows to use one's body and one is creating a habit that will endure.<br />I remember a time when a large number of people received computer science degrees. Those degrees were so plentiful that programmers were making next to nothing compared to the cost of those degrees. It is happening in law, the humanity degrees, et al. The number of college graduates actually working in their chosen discipline has peaked and is trending downward.<br />Pay me now or pay me later. Weaken others at one's own expense.Dennishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14962996070458991675noreply@blogger.com