tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post5032578347470863426..comments2024-03-26T06:17:49.527-07:00Comments on Had Enough Therapy?: The Case of the Unhappy SpinsterStuart Schneidermanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12784043736879991769noreply@blogger.comBlogger10125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post-27656631951513763792017-06-15T12:30:54.832-07:002017-06-15T12:30:54.832-07:00PS Excuse all my typos and errors. They are regret...PS Excuse all my typos and errors. They are regretful. This wireless keyboard needs replacing TODAY. IVYOWLhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17924805744378340881noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post-23886894554797423142017-06-15T12:22:09.821-07:002017-06-15T12:22:09.821-07:00Hi I am a spinster ( an actual real childless neve...Hi I am a spinster ( an actual real childless never married lived alone all my life and older person) and I have a comment on what the last person implied about cats. He said:<br /><br />"But there's still the predicament that spinsters, even if sometimes by the aid of cats, can live well into their 90s, while divorced, widowed, or never married men who live alone do much more poorly in general and don't live as long"<br /><br />OK I DO have a lot of cats because I do animal rescue. But I just want to clear up something I KNOW is a myth (at least when it comes to me). THat is WHY I have the cats because I really think a lot of people are projecting their motives onto me. I don't have these cats because I am lonely and I do not have cats because they replace a man or a family for me. SERIOUSLY I DONt<br /><br />I have all these cats for THE VERY SAME REASON the very happily married president of our rescue group has all these cats, and for the VERY SAME REASON my 80-year-old friend with lots of loving children and grandchildren has all these cats and my sister who has a great marriage to a very handsome devoted husband has all her cats. We like cats and have a lot of compassion for those cats who have been abandoned through no fault of their own. Not having childern might give us more time and resources to do this --but that is a good thing. And if you don't see the good in that then you might have less compassion than some do. A lot of animal lovers think it is GREAT what I am doing.<br /><br />I am also a vegan and animal rights activist and I am passionate about that. I even try to treat insects humanely I'd probably be happier if I had no cats at times(especially since merely having them makes me fit the derided stereotype). But I can't have no cats because I can't just harden my heart that much--even if the world is laughing at me( and I know they are)<br /><br />I don't think I am going to live well into my 90's but if I do, maybe it would be because of my attitude of valuing life..ALL life, including mine.<br /><br /><br />IVYOWLhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17924805744378340881noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post-10219235403031335912017-01-11T04:16:07.326-08:002017-01-11T04:16:07.326-08:00Trigger Warning said... I understand that it's...Trigger Warning said... I understand that it's politically incorrect to suggest, but maybe the Unhappy Spinster is just, well, ugly.<br /><br />I wondered the same thing. Ugly is certainly not a PC word, maybe "plain" is better. But she has to consider that there is something about her in-person presentation that isn't working, possibly something within her power to change, or possibly not.<br /><br />On "plainness", I remember one 40-something woman janitor I knew from work over a decade ago when I'd work evenings, and she lived alone and was independent, and the few times she talked about men, she expressed some bitterness, and had one story when she was a bit younger where she was at a bar and a man was SURE she was a man, and I could sort of see the confusion, at least she wore loose clothing, and had short hair, and an angular face, and overall athletic looking from her physical work. I'd not say she was ugly, but just not stereotypically feminine in personality either.<br /><br />So I interpolated from her statements that she had tried dating when she was younger, and nothing ever went anywhere, and she gave up, and rationalized relationships were not for her. I mean I'd presume it, but only later wondered if her attitude was a result of failure rather than of a lack of interest. I just recall that because its easy to assume someone who "is not looking" is because they're not interested, while that's clearly not true.<br /><br />They say a majority of women have children, while proportionally more men do not, both by genetic history, and the fact men in general have to work harder to attract a mate, while women are supposed to be passive, receptive and just make themselves available until interest is expressed. <br /><br />I recall another women I knew from the 90s actually tried "The rules" to try to keep her man, while she had good looks to attract men, but not the personality to keep them, too shy perhaps, and she did find someone and perhaps used some coersion to get a proposal and marriage but still didn't last, no children, and she was the one who initiated the divorce when she didn't feel in love any more. I don't think she learned the right lessons, and at least for a while was saying she wasn't going settle next time, and wanted someone who made her heart flutter. <br /><br />And having kids is one of those troubled things too. Some women are not meant to become mothers, perhaps some intuition or fear of being a bad mother or something. <br /><br />And as uncomfortable as it may be to date a woman who is TOO excited talking about having kids soon, the opposite maybe is more troublesome, if a woman gives signs of uncertainty over parenthood. That is, a man might marry "plain" woman who had useful skills and want kids, but if she's "plain" AND doesn't know if she wants kids, she loses attractiveness twice for someone who wants a family.<br /><br />Since I have lots of cousins, I can compare other cases, and all my female cousins who didn't want kids did get married, but some of them not until their later 40's where kids were no longer an option, and some married divorced men with adult kids, so there's still hope, at least if companionship is the goal.<br /><br />Overall, I think men have it easier, and the term "bachelor" is not demeaning like "spinster". But there's still the predicament that spinsters, even if sometimes by the aid of cats, can live well into their 90s, while divorced, widowed, or never married men who live alone do much more poorly in general and don't live as long.<br />Ares Olympushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09726811306826601686noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post-3337855881206178512017-01-10T18:18:24.624-08:002017-01-10T18:18:24.624-08:00But then, being ugly can be an advantage.
https:...But then, being ugly can be an advantage. <br /><br />https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9NF5XU-k2VkAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post-26571462814044671162017-01-10T15:02:47.450-08:002017-01-10T15:02:47.450-08:00@IAC: True dat, bro.@IAC: True dat, bro.Trigger Warningnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post-57842027810185512692017-01-10T13:21:55.584-08:002017-01-10T13:21:55.584-08:00Trigger Warning @January 10, 2017 at 11:54 AM:
Af...Trigger Warning @January 10, 2017 at 11:54 AM:<br /><br />After all, ugly is forever.Ignatius Acton Chesterton OCDhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18222603717128565302noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post-1315954316874215812017-01-10T11:54:18.762-08:002017-01-10T11:54:18.762-08:00I understand that it's politically incorrect t...I understand that it's politically incorrect to suggest, but maybe the Unhappy Spinster is just, well, ugly.<br /><br />I kow she says she's "attractive", but as a single man for 40 years, when I hear women describe themselves, sight unseen, as "attractive", I've found that's code for someone who dresses well, uses expensive "products" from a makeup counter clerked by hot women, and has a reliable job.<br /><br />I also found during those single years that meeting women in bars gets you women who hang out in bars looking to meet men. My most successful pick-up venue was a Sunday afternoon chamber music event held at the Isabella Gardener Museum in Boston. I got to see the women in daylight and I figured we had at least one interest in common. Gyms were good too, for obvious reasons, but the Museum was a gold mine.Trigger Warningnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post-23977968027270753332017-01-10T11:00:45.037-08:002017-01-10T11:00:45.037-08:00Spinster is such a great word.Spinster is such a great word.Ignatius Acton Chesterton OCDhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18222603717128565302noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post-47340194326621504032017-01-10T08:01:29.586-08:002017-01-10T08:01:29.586-08:004000 first dates over a period, let's say, fro...4000 first dates over a period, let's say, from 16 to 35 works out to one every 1.73 days. So how does she wind up eating alone at the bar more often than that?sestamibinoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post-25815726520279525692017-01-10T07:19:06.431-08:002017-01-10T07:19:06.431-08:00If one cannot learn the lessons of losing then one...If one cannot learn the lessons of losing then one will never learn the lessons of winning. Life is meant to be experienced in all its challenges and failures. As a male, and I believe I am no different that other males, I never desired to live my life without a female partner. Yes, I know that I can survive on my own, but why would I want to live without a woman in my life.<br />Feminism is a disease that completely misses the point of why we are of two sexes with strengths and weaknesses that make life worth living. This woman drank the feminist cup of anger and now does not understand her misery.Dennishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14962996070458991675noreply@blogger.com