tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post6124565637456054031..comments2024-03-26T06:17:49.527-07:00Comments on Had Enough Therapy?: Advice to an Ambitious Young WomanStuart Schneidermanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12784043736879991769noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post-62588881604551808132016-11-04T03:29:40.284-07:002016-11-04T03:29:40.284-07:00Stuart: She adds this: The point is that thirty (o...Stuart: She adds this: The point is that thirty (or thirty-two, or thirty-five) is not the age when you want to be practicing serious relationships for the first time. Because learning how to develop a meaningful, sustainable relationship and keep it healthy takes some extended practice. You have to get beyond the basics — the sexual negotiations and the decisions about whose clothes go where and how to talk about exes. You have to figure out how to fight well, how to negotiate major value conflicts (if you can — some are impossible), and how to deal with the inevitabilities that come your way.<br /><br />So what is the advice here? Marriage at 23 to the first guy who asks, or attend "living-with-boyfriend" school (but no kids) for 4-5 years before possible marriage and parenthood?<br /><br />I do worry about my niece who got married this fall at age 22, while she still hasn't finished even an associate degree worth of community college. And I worry that she'll be having a baby within 12 months, and then she's not "practicing relationships", she's practicing parenthood with someone she may no longer be married to in 6 years. And her mom just completed her 4th divorce a couple years ago, although it was nice that two of the men attended the wedding.<br /><br />And even married now, she's still sharing crazygirl crap on Facebook for all to see, well, like this last one I see shared from Yesterday:<br />https://www.facebook.com/BFLOOVE/photos/a.125187700976286.24931.125185677643155/664248530403531/<br />"I admit it, I'm the type of woman that needs your attention. I like talking all day long & getting cute random text that lets me know you were thinking about me. I like it when you show me off & let the world know I'm your's but still keep our business lowkey. I'm not asking you to spend all your money on me or make the world revolve around me, but make me feel wanted."<br /><br />Ah, what?! Shit! Is this a test? And will her new husband fail? Or is this really a test where "effort counts" more than perfection?<br /><br />Of course traditional men generally don't think about "practicing" relationships or marriage. They're too busy practicing career and see the little woman as the one who needs to learn to accommodate his life choices.<br /><br />Or maybe we have to go to deeper relationship quotes:<br />“Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invariably they are both disappointed.”<br /><br />Actually I have a woman friend who just passed 20 years of marriage stated she had thought about divorce many times over the years but realized how effort she had made in getting her husband to change, and she didn't want to start over again. Maybe that's wisdom? I agree with the sensible logic. <br /><br />Anyway hopefully a few conservatives believe that birth control is important while new couples are practicing their coupling skills in their 20s. Divorce sucks for kids, almost as much as single-parenthood, and so you'd better well be sure you're going to stick together before you start a new generation of screwed up people.<br />Ares Olympushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09726811306826601686noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post-6115419040215040172016-11-03T15:34:20.984-07:002016-11-03T15:34:20.984-07:00Feminists hate women who have children, and hate t...Feminists hate women who have children, and hate the children more.Sam L.https://www.blogger.com/profile/00996809377798862214noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post-32489099451705119602016-11-03T05:52:23.862-07:002016-11-03T05:52:23.862-07:00This comment has been removed by the author.QED2416https://www.blogger.com/profile/04534287551983667572noreply@blogger.com