tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post6212711841043474625..comments2024-03-18T08:02:51.154-07:00Comments on Had Enough Therapy?: The Pain of RejectionStuart Schneidermanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12784043736879991769noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post-57287259731981791942010-10-13T10:32:27.522-07:002010-10-13T10:32:27.522-07:00Thanks David and Susan. The quote from General Sli...Thanks David and Susan. The quote from General Slim is wonderful for providing us a great plan for overcoming defeat and failure.<br /><br />I agree with Susan that young people often do not have strong enough values to reject the kinds of manipulation involved when young men try to seduce them by acting pathetic.<br /><br />I too think it is very, very strange that young men would be so desperate that they engage in such a cheap trick to score a hookup.Stuart Schneidermanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12784043736879991769noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post-66336618872797242902010-10-12T17:38:15.257-07:002010-10-12T17:38:15.257-07:00Interesting post, Stuart, thanks for the link. I t...Interesting post, Stuart, thanks for the link. I think you've hit on something important with the idea of coercion to avoid rejection. I think this is quite prevalent in hookup culture. Many hookups occur out of awkwardness, pity, fear of unflattering gossip, etc. Of course, people could avoid these uncomfortable dilemmas if they resisted peer pressure to make choices congruent with their true values.Susan Walshhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01984275712518966508noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post-49430296867200258942010-10-12T10:05:08.005-07:002010-10-12T10:05:08.005-07:00Outstanding quote David.Outstanding quote David.By The Swordhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16799389743529116360noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post-30738045652614455732010-10-11T15:54:36.148-07:002010-10-11T15:54:36.148-07:00One of the best things I've read on the psycho...One of the best things I've read on the psychology of dealing with failure was written the British General William Slim. In 1942 he was appointed to command of a Corps in Burma, then under heavy attack by the Japanese. Within two months, he suffered a severe defeat, with heavy casualties, and was forced to withdraw his forces to India. In his book, Defeat Into Victory, he reflects on his thoughts and feelings at the time.<br /><br />"The only test of generalship is success, and I had succeeded in nothing that I had attempted...Defeat is bitter. Bitter to the common soldier, but trebly bitter to his general. The soldier may comfort himself with the thought that, whatever the result, he has done his duty faithfully and steadfastly, but the commander has failed in his duty if he has not won victory--for that is his duty. He has no other comparable to it. He will go over in his mind the events of the campaign. 'Here,' he will think, 'I went wrong; here I took counsel of my fears when I should have been bold; there I should have waited to gather strength, not struck piecemeal; at such a moment I failed to grasp opportunity when it was presented to me.' He will remember the soldiers whom he sent into the attack that failed and who did not come back. he will recall the look in the eyes of men who trusted him. 'I have failed them,' he will say to himself, 'and failed my country!' He will see himself for what he is--a defeated general. In a dark hour he will turn on himself and question the very foundations of his leadership and his manhood.<br /><br />And then he must stop! For, if he is ever to command in battle again, he must shake off these regrets and stamp on them, as they claw at his will and his self-confidence. He must beat off these atacks he delivers against himself, and cast out the doubts born of failure. Forget them, and remember only the lessons to be learnt from defeat--they are more than from victory."David Fosterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15464681514800720063noreply@blogger.com