tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post661127785205370197..comments2024-03-26T06:17:49.527-07:00Comments on Had Enough Therapy?: Helicopter MomsStuart Schneidermanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12784043736879991769noreply@blogger.comBlogger13125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post-3441235382323083942012-09-05T05:21:54.737-07:002012-09-05T05:21:54.737-07:00I think everyone must read this.I think everyone must read this.Primrosehttp://forum.loni.ucla.edu/member.php?u=23929noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post-41091859734154009642012-05-28T07:05:55.388-07:002012-05-28T07:05:55.388-07:00Pretty worthwhile data, lots of thanks for your po...Pretty worthwhile data, lots of thanks for your post.webhttp://www.pcwebsite.netnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post-41872552488186492892010-07-13T18:27:29.073-07:002010-07-13T18:27:29.073-07:00The very same...The very same...Stuart Schneidermanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12784043736879991769noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post-91978169115707807112010-07-13T15:05:12.753-07:002010-07-13T15:05:12.753-07:00In a city like New York, where children grow up in...<i>In a city like New York, where children grow up in an extremely heterogeneous culture, parents try to find an island of homogeneity by sending their children to private schools.</i><br /><br />Are these the same parents who would be against school vouchers and charter schools because they believe so passionately in public education?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post-26599924016555390652010-07-12T21:16:03.929-07:002010-07-12T21:16:03.929-07:00I'm glad you trust mothers. I suggest that the...I'm glad you trust mothers. I suggest that the people most negative about "helicopter parenting" are those people who have the most to lose from involved parents.<br /><br />When you hear about how bad helicoptering is, it tends to come from school administrators (at all levels), education consultants, and the media. All of those groups have<br />a worldview about education, and largely that worldview is something they wish to inculcate in their organization, and resulting, in the children. They need to remove parental influence in order to succeed in that worldview.<br /><br />Helicopter parents are a conflict for them. They stand in the way of their goals. If the school believes in a permissive parenting type model, where kids should be treated as if they have high executive function, and suffer the consequences of their mistakes, then helicopter parents specifically threaten that. If the school believes that students should be in charge of their own learning, helicopter parents are the only ones able to argue the onus should be on the school, etc.<br /><br />Certainly some parents get the balance wrong. But lots of them do that because they know their own childhood was filled with such grievous errors, and the societal institutions can no longer be trusted to act in loco parentis.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post-12678518350688315182010-07-12T10:05:06.297-07:002010-07-12T10:05:06.297-07:00In the first season of Mad Men, several families f...In the first season of Mad Men, several families from the neighborhood are gathered for a birthday party. A boy running through the house gets slapped when he breaks a glass--and not by his parent! When the boy's father comes over to see what's going on, he is about to slap the boy again when the first parent says the boy has had enough. These are New York parents.<br /><br />Without that sort of community structure and continuity of values, helicoptering is bound to happen.Cane Caldohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05086160238694226488noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post-77834911683708917092010-07-12T07:38:46.177-07:002010-07-12T07:38:46.177-07:00From what some of you are telling me, it sounds as...From what some of you are telling me, it sounds as though the classic refuges, private and suburban schools, are becoming less and less reliable. Thus, parents are becoming increasingly anxious about their children's future and feeling that they have to become more and more involved at all levels.<br /><br />And this does not even address the added concerns that come to children from social media, the pervasiveness of internet porn, the number of children who are basically unsupervised, etc.<br /><br />As for the important point, about whether I and the rest of those who are perhaps giving a pass to helicopter mothers, I would say that experience has taught to trust a mother to know what is best for her child.<br /><br />One might say that some mothers take it too far, and that some do not take it far enough, but when mothers start feeling anxious about their children, most of the time they have a very good reason.Stuart Schneidermanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12784043736879991769noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post-68662299955059566682010-07-12T07:25:12.962-07:002010-07-12T07:25:12.962-07:00I saw a post that may be of interest to you on thi...I saw a post that may be of interest to you on this subject: <br /><br />http://fairfieldhousenj.com/2010/06/14/fledglings/Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post-18418889186140199052010-07-12T07:22:21.919-07:002010-07-12T07:22:21.919-07:00Those expensive, private schools aren't much b...Those expensive, private schools aren't much better. My child came home with a picture of Lincoln they had to color. When I questioned why he was brown, she insisted he was black and the entire class colored him that way. <br />For the record, I am a black woman.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post-46962960416350577702010-07-11T19:39:05.661-07:002010-07-11T19:39:05.661-07:00Because largely, the suburban school district is o...Because largely, the suburban school district is only nominally high performing at this point, and only safe as far as physical security. Scratch the surface and you find the schools aren't preparing the children properly. Instead, parents must hire tutors galore for their academic needs; parents must keep helicoptering to ensure their child's teacher is the right one; parents must keep on top of the social scene the child is participating in; parents still must worry about college advising from outside consultants because the schools aren't providing it; parents must watch out for their child's emotional health, and the damage the school is doing in that regard.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post-54254323129603030492010-07-11T07:30:50.678-07:002010-07-11T07:30:50.678-07:00Stuart, you say:
No one is criticizing helicopter...Stuart, you say:<br /><br /><i>No one is criticizing helicopter mothers, any more than anyone is criticizing Mama Grizzlies. Considering the dangers and challenges these children face, it is not surprising-- we would do better to say that it feels normal-- for mothers to be very vigilant and very involved in their children's lives.<br /><br />It's not optimal, but it may be the best that many mothers can do under trying circumstances.</i><br /><br />What are the "dangers and challenges that children face"? What are the "trying circumstances" that you are referring to?<br /><br />I keep reading that the world is becoming safer for kids, according to crime stats. I keep reading that we're raising more young adults who aren't capable of making decisions or tackling life's problems without involving their parents. <br /><br />It sounds like you're giving helicopter parents a bit of a pass on the legitimacy of what they're doing. I'm not sure it's justified.Markhttp://www.softwaretime.com/blognoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post-31564391720890867442010-07-10T14:36:41.867-07:002010-07-10T14:36:41.867-07:00Many of them do move to the suburbs where they fin...Many of them do move to the suburbs where they find homogeneous communities and good school systems.<br /><br />I had neglected to mention the point. Thanks for bringing it to our attention.Stuart Schneidermanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12784043736879991769noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post-29719307060662847582010-07-10T11:51:12.669-07:002010-07-10T11:51:12.669-07:00Why don't they just move to a suburb with a go...Why don't they just move to a suburb with a good school system?Cappyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06296544117356338654noreply@blogger.com