tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post8358669233808795492..comments2024-03-26T06:17:49.527-07:00Comments on Had Enough Therapy?: Is Frexting the Next Craze?Stuart Schneidermanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12784043736879991769noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post-16533833449557496972015-05-22T05:00:18.829-07:002015-05-22T05:00:18.829-07:00re: In truth, shamelessness is never harmless.
H...re: In truth, shamelessness is never harmless. <br /><br />Hey, someone agrees, at least it says shame is useful. Well, this article doesn't clarify to me what separates shame from "toxic shame." At best it might suggest we need to deal with shame as human beings, and our parents ought to help give us developmentally progressive experiences as we mature to process shame in more constructive ways.<br /><br />And social media would seem to be a new proving ground for expressing more destructive shaming activity, since there's no face that will halt cruelty and insults, EXCEPT by keeping ALL aspects of your personal life offline.<br /><br />https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/shame/201505/the-uses-shame<br />--------<br />...Over the last hundred years, shame has gotten an increasingly bad name, but as it turns out, shame sometimes has its beneficial uses.<br /><br />... Modern parenting manuals reject shame as a tool and encourage the use of praise to build lasting self-esteem. John Bradshaw’s unexpected bestseller, Healing the Shame that Binds You, captured the anti-shame zeitgeist: Shame is toxic.<br /><br />Modern affect theory, pioneered by Sylvan Tompkins, holds that shame is one of nine innate, genetically predetermined “affects” – the biological components of emotion – that spontaneously appear without experience-based learning. In other words, shame doesn’t need to be taught; it’s in our genes.<br /><br />Affect theory is sometimes arcane and difficult to penetrate, but in essence, it holds that shame acts as a brake, a kind of circuit breaker for other positive affects like excitement, joy, or curiosity. Human children are voracious explorers of their world, eager for interaction with other humans, but sometimes it’s dangerous to be curious about an unknown situation or to engage with an unfamiliar person. Shame can interrupt the unbridled urge to explore and engage, imposing restraint or caution instead.<br /><br />As the psychoanalyst Donald Nathanson describes it, the shame affect encoded in our genes is like the firmware on a computer, pre-written and immutable. The way parents activate and make use of shame in their childrearing practices would then be analogous to the software, with its myriad forms and applications. So would social shame, where society-at-large activates and makes use of shame to communicate its values.<br /><br />Some shaming is gentle and constructive: simply saying the word “no” is a mild form of shame (interruption of positive affect) and most parents say it often. But as John Bradshaw explained it, other forms of shame are severe and toxic. Shame can devastate the soul and cripple the psyche. It can forever preclude the experience of joy, interest, or excitement. Sometimes it drives the true self underground and into a closet. In large part due to the influence of Bradshaw’s book, shame and toxic shame have become largely synonymous. Most people think of shame as entirely bad.<br />--------------<br />Ares Olympushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09726811306826601686noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post-30092832547521953032015-05-22T04:16:40.709-07:002015-05-22T04:16:40.709-07:00IAC,
Thanks I rather enjoyed that. IAC,<br /><br />Thanks I rather enjoyed that. Dennishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14962996070458991675noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post-19710045636575178892015-05-21T19:55:53.930-07:002015-05-21T19:55:53.930-07:00I don't think it makes sense to overanalyse th...I don't think it makes sense to overanalyse this. You might call it poor-thinking in a bored minority and be just as descriptive.<br /><br />The strangest thing I saw on FB this week was statements of solidarity for high school girls complaining about school dress codes, but it also might be explained as boredom as much as anything else. <br /><br />http://www.seventeen.com/life/school/news/a29822/hero-students-protest-unfair-dress-code-double-standards/<br />"I'm sorry, can you see my shoulders? Men are never told that their arms, legs, or stomachs are a problems for other people. They are seen as human, and rarely seen as something there for your sexual exploits. We are thirteen through eighteen-year-old girls. If you are sexualizing us, YOU are you problem. Dress codes are perpetuating rape culture and oppressive objectification against young women."<br /><br />You'd think most girls would be relieved to have a dress code where they don't have to compete with other girls in fashion statements every day, but some minority is always going to want peer status, and want to use their appearances to achieve it.<br />Ares Olympushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09726811306826601686noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post-35018403785687899012015-05-21T19:51:22.518-07:002015-05-21T19:51:22.518-07:00Ares? I must have your penetrating analysis of Stu...Ares? I must have your penetrating analysis of Stuarts's post and your insight...Ignatius Acton Chesterton OCDhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18222603717128565302noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post-22396021257579304442015-05-21T19:28:02.816-07:002015-05-21T19:28:02.816-07:00Bizarre morphs to weird.Bizarre morphs to weird.Larry Sheldonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12653436584890594776noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post-9006676165259210562015-05-21T10:05:34.359-07:002015-05-21T10:05:34.359-07:00Millennials are the worst.
http://reason.com/arc...Millennials are the worst.<br /><br /><br />http://reason.com/archives/2015/05/20/columbia-rape-saga-lingers-after-mattres/<br />priss rulesnoreply@blogger.com