tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post8555656233755171866..comments2024-03-29T04:06:37.402-07:00Comments on Had Enough Therapy?: Daddy's Little GirlStuart Schneidermanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12784043736879991769noreply@blogger.comBlogger34125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post-80708475982634117492010-10-28T13:20:59.277-07:002010-10-28T13:20:59.277-07:00Allison, just as feminists have excluded men from ...<i>Allison, just as feminists have excluded men from "women's" topics, so too do I seek to exclude women from men's topics.</i><br /><br /><i>Sucks doesn't it? And just like feminists do, I am going to tell you to suck it up and stop whining. Put on your big-girl panties and stick to topics that pertain to you.</i><br /><br />Translation: I'm no better than the feminists and two wrongs make me always right.<br /><br />Quite an impressive display of a**clownery.Ooh! Can I be Anonymous II?noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post-11844085296681755182010-10-28T07:27:07.635-07:002010-10-28T07:27:07.635-07:00I have to admit I enjoyed the assertion that one o...I have to admit I enjoyed the assertion that one of the reasons for feminism is to find things wrong with men. Now just what is that called besides misandry........... Oh bigotry.<br />I am not sure how we got to a discussion of the father's need in a daughter's life to feminist drivel. We will never get past most of this twaddle and do what is right for children if every discussion degenerates into sexual politics. And one wonders why our children have a hard time? How about just try being a good image for our children?Dennisnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post-9775066637689156682010-10-28T06:54:22.442-07:002010-10-28T06:54:22.442-07:00"Anonymous, are you saying that the opinion o..."Anonymous, are you saying that the opinion of someone's daughter isn't valid? Is the father the only opinion that matters in a father-daughter relationship?"<br /><br />Allison, just as feminists have excluded men from "women's" topics, so too do I seek to exclude women from men's topics.<br /><br />Sucks doesn't it? And just like feminists do, I am going to tell you to suck it up and stop whining. Put on your big-girl panties and stick to topics that pertain to you. Besides, Sarah was not speaking from the perspective of the daughter so your assertion is completely without merit. Good try though.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post-11826553729783727232010-10-27T21:40:58.837-07:002010-10-27T21:40:58.837-07:00In my culture there is no "open communication...In my culture there is no "open communication" between parents and children - certainly not about "everything".<br /><br />And yet we virtually have no out of wedlock births.Proud Hindunoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post-35542032826817749542010-10-27T20:53:05.719-07:002010-10-27T20:53:05.719-07:00"Sarah - as a woman, your opinion on this mat..."Sarah - as a woman, your opinion on this matter (one of a father's relation to his daughter) is invalid...completely and fully invalid."<br /><br />Anonymous, are you saying that the opinion of someone's daughter isn't valid? Is the father the only opinion that matters in a father-daughter relationship? <br /><br />I would not be the person I am without my father. He is the single most important person in my life, and he raised me essentially single-handedly during my early adolescence. (my mother was the breadwinner and traveled often while my father was in graduate school.) He filled a position my life my mom just couldn't. Because I'm a girl, is my opinion invalid? A woman without a father and a woman with one have different opinions on the subject, and they are both fundamentally important to the topic.<br /><br />By asserting this, you sound every bit as ignorant on the subject as she did. You come across as flagrantly misogynistic.Allisonnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post-2712847183731677002010-10-27T12:51:50.494-07:002010-10-27T12:51:50.494-07:00"I've read that many fathers of college-a..."I've read that many fathers of college-aged boys today are vicariously enjoying their sons' sexual exploits."<br /><br />This seems like a stretch. I've never seen a college age boy tell a dad about some sexual encounter. Most boys keep that information to their own set of peers. <br /><br />Human behavior has all sorts of bizarre aspects, but I would hardly characterize this as common place. Frankly most fathers are stressed out to the max, trying to pay tuition bills and are not the least bit interested in hearing about risky behavior and activity that suggests that a kid is not taking school seriously.<br /><br />Anonymous who is a step father has great instincts. I was in the same situation and became a step-father to an adolescent daughter. The rule of thumb that I adopted, which turned out to work out very well is to let each adolescent step-kid determine and implicitly tell you what kind of relationship they want to have. It gives them a sense of control over an initially awkward situation and lets a relationship grow at a pace they are comfortable with.Bobnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post-74717676087861277942010-10-27T11:16:10.121-07:002010-10-27T11:16:10.121-07:00My brother in law has a son and a daughter. He lik...My brother in law has a son and a daughter. He likes the idea of his son "getting some", but for some reason this does not apply for his daughter. Surely any girl needs a father who doesn't guard her virginity, for how will she be able to enjoy sex later in life? Feminism has been right to point out destructive issues of masculinity. Now it is men's role to define how to be a good man. Learn from history.Faustinahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03149514993374789050noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post-73682832134477368372010-10-27T10:37:00.697-07:002010-10-27T10:37:00.697-07:00To make a vast generalization on a post which, its...To make a vast generalization on a post which, itself, is a vast generalization:<br /><br />Most fathers have trouble dealing with their daughters sexuality. They simply don't view their daughters as sexual beings.<br /><br />Daughters may be better off talking to someone else about sex than their fathers, who often will sound like some kind of ayatollah.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post-46771819657630102182010-10-27T10:09:21.429-07:002010-10-27T10:09:21.429-07:00"Daughters do not need any "initiation i..."Daughters do not need any "initiation into the mysteries" from their fathers, mothers are very adequate for that. "<br /><br />Yet another woman on here dismissing men. <br /><br />Sarah - as a woman, your opinion on this matter (one of a father's relation to his daughter) is invalid...completely and fully invalid.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post-22042015758846967612010-10-27T10:07:35.349-07:002010-10-27T10:07:35.349-07:00Thank you, SarahW. Of course, I agree with you, an...Thank you, SarahW. Of course, I agree with you, and I did say as much, that girls are not going to discuss matters anatomical with their fathers.<br /><br />I think that the title of the Time article distorted the problem.<br /><br />I do believe, however, and again in agreement with you, that there are many matters involving boys and relationships that a girl can profitably discuss with her father.<br /><br />As many of the male commenters have said, it matters enormously for girls to be able to have good communications and good relationships with their fathers. The best mothers can compensate, but the research that Time cites is quite specific about the importance of the father/daughter relationship as promoting the confidence and good judgment that will lead a girl to make good relationship choices.Stuart Schneidermanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12784043736879991769noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post-85040916087086958042010-10-27T09:49:30.468-07:002010-10-27T09:49:30.468-07:00Daughters do not need any "initiation into th...Daughters do not need any "initiation into the mysteries" from their fathers, mothers are very adequate for that. <br /><br />A zone of privacy is decent, and to my perspective IS necessary, and men should not be commenting on their daughter's or stepdaughter' appeal, proportions, personal hygiene or habits as far as can be avoided, and certainly not on how to achieve sexual satisfaction or make sure men have it, certainly not until she is grown and has her own power to change the subject and/or end the conversation if she desires.<br /><br />I'm not sure what the complain is, here. That men want to talk about "getting it on" and feel inhibited?<br /><br />What a Father might do is discuss how to handle boys, especially how he himself viewed women, and his strategies to get what he wanted from them, or his own experience of how men speak about women to each other<br /><br /> I suspect, however, mothers are also not without useful perspective on the point, if not moreso. "Handling" men, avoiding pressure without hurting feelings or being used, is something mothers may understand even more, because they have been in the daughter's place, and know what it is to have not only desires of their own, but desires to be accepted by men, and know, from a personal perspective, the pressures of being a woman.<br /><br />I think, really, any resprectful, loving family can handle the matter, and that boundaries pecualiar to the male/female relationship are very important, just as in a mother/son relationship.SarahWhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04557172584578880603noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post-34501592108688615202010-10-27T09:10:32.854-07:002010-10-27T09:10:32.854-07:00I've always said the rise of single-children f...I've always said the rise of single-children families has made girls more clueless, unfamiliar, and intolerant to the way boys are. Never thought of the father problem; hell, you hear so little about him anyway.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post-13989502383539381062010-10-27T09:10:03.123-07:002010-10-27T09:10:03.123-07:00I would venture to say, based on my recent experie...I would venture to say, based on my recent experiences with middle-aged women styling themselves as "cougars", that it is they who are far more likely to be vicariously enjoying their daughter's (and son's) exploits.<br /><br />The whole "I've read" that "many..." type of slimy commenting tells me that Susan either had one of her girlfriends tell her this or she's projecting.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post-28205672874429812692010-10-27T09:08:32.548-07:002010-10-27T09:08:32.548-07:00Nope, Susan is not a public male-basher but the mo...Nope, Susan is not a public male-basher but the more insidious type of man-hater - the kind who believes deep-down that men are the cause of women's problems. It comes out in the subtle type of comment like she made.<br /><br />You can't hide stuff like that.<br /><br />I will continue to call out and shame comments that seek to place the blame for female behavior on men anywhere I see or hear it.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post-16381947564783106382010-10-27T08:59:57.351-07:002010-10-27T08:59:57.351-07:00OT: Antigone, if you are reading this, your commen...OT: Antigone, if you are reading this, your comment system doesn't seem to be working--I tried to post a comment on your site using 2 different browsers and nothing happened...David Fosterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15464681514800720063noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post-75043961319323810192010-10-27T08:39:31.701-07:002010-10-27T08:39:31.701-07:00I do believe that some of you have gotten the wron...I do believe that some of you have gotten the wrong impression about Susan Walsh's comment.<br /><br />You may know that she runs a blog called HookingUpSmart whose purpose is to encourage young women to be more judicious about the way they hand out sexual favors.<br /><br />It is intelligent, cogent, fact-based and full of very sound advice.<br /><br />I think that if you spend some time reading it you will come away with the impression that Susan is most definitely not a male-basher.Stuart Schneidermanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12784043736879991769noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post-27106749441073887642010-10-27T08:34:35.317-07:002010-10-27T08:34:35.317-07:00Why anyone would be surprised by this hasn't b...Why anyone would be surprised by this hasn't been paying enough attention. Women for some reason accept and mouth without question -- that's you and your ilk, Susan -- that male hatred and disrespect is the norm.<br /><br />Just watch TV commercials, for instance. The white male is the incompetent buffoon, the impulsive, childish fool who's always being shown up or put down by a female counterpart. It only stands to reason that females accept as fact that men are dumb, sex-crazed menaces.<br /><br />Let's ignore the fact that men created and improved every aspect of politics, culture, the arts, science, medicine, engineering and so forth. It matters not that the inventions and evolutions men created for females have made life better in every respect. <br /><br />What matters is that females feel better about themselves spouting rote political polemics without regard to reason, fact, logic or history. That's how we wind up with Susans who think they're being reasonable and fair when they're anything but.Gary from Jerseynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post-17325060378120204992010-10-27T07:59:06.484-07:002010-10-27T07:59:06.484-07:00Every father should read "Strong Fathers Stro...Every father should read "Strong Fathers Strong Daughters."<br /><br />Twice.<br /><br />http://www.amazon.com/Strong-Fathers-Daughters-Secrets-Father/dp/1596980125John Snoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post-50526029654374394372010-10-27T07:55:22.392-07:002010-10-27T07:55:22.392-07:00I second the comment that the kids without fathers...I second the comment that the kids without fathers cling to other kids' dads. Happens to me all the time when I am at parties with my 8 yo daughter. Both young girls and boys from single parent houses seem starved for the opportunity to spend time with men. I took some of her friends camping, and the difference was incredible.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post-28307139768317819582010-10-27T07:48:21.712-07:002010-10-27T07:48:21.712-07:00Thanks for the many thoughtful and incisive commen...Thanks for the many thoughtful and incisive comments.<br /><br />I think it is worth emphasizing the fact, as Anonymous did, that far too many girls (and boys, for that matter) are growing up without fathers.<br /><br />Thanks for giving the terrible image of girls who are suffering because they have been deprived of fathers.<br /><br />And that the culture seems more intent on pretending that it does not matter than to work to try to validate other authority figures--- as Dennis was suggesting-- who might take up the role.Stuart Schneidermanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12784043736879991769noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post-34395361074918775742010-10-27T07:17:41.025-07:002010-10-27T07:17:41.025-07:00Probably the two most important relationships, out...Probably the two most important relationships, outside of one's spouse, is the Mother/son and the Father/daughter relationships. I am not saying that the Mother/daughter and Father/son relationships are not important for it is how each learns about what it is to be female or male. <br />The Mother/son relationships teaches the son about women and his relationships with women from the most important woman in his life. The Father/daughter relationship teaches the daughter about her relationships with men from the most important man in her life. We take on great responsibilities when we become parents. <br />Look around you and you find the women who seems to have the easiest time dealing with men are the one's who had a good relationship with their fathers. The same holds true for Men who had good relationships with their mothers.<br />The sad part here is that feminism did damage to those important relationships and is responsible for the lack of trust experienced by both sexes. If we continue as we have been we will create a situation where Men, who seem to be unable to do any right in a woman's eyes, will start to have no use for a woman's opinion. For if I can do not right then your opinion is of no value to me.<br />Given that we complement each other in our skills and abilities and create the perfect unit to face life's challenges we need to correct this as soon as possible. We are different for a reason and that difference is what gives us the synergy requisite for happy successful lives.<br />Keep up the good work Anon by providing a good male image. We need to both provide that image to both girls and boys if we want them to grow up heath and strong. I was lucky that I was raise mostly down South. When my mother took off in my earlier formative years there were a number of women who fulfilled that role for me for which I am forever grateful.Dennisnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post-69972802970455262252010-10-27T06:37:25.230-07:002010-10-27T06:37:25.230-07:00lots of suppositions there, Susan.. does it comfor...lots of suppositions there, Susan.. does it comfort you to think in such sexist, male-bashing way?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post-13039481005415105992010-10-27T06:35:43.823-07:002010-10-27T06:35:43.823-07:00Antigone Amplified, the dutch father could be char...Antigone Amplified, the dutch father could be charged with negligence.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post-54779593000663248022010-10-27T06:03:28.353-07:002010-10-27T06:03:28.353-07:00Excellent post sir.
We as a nation/society have s...Excellent post sir.<br /><br />We as a nation/society have spent the last 40 years demonizing men. Just watch any sitcom of the past 30 or so years. Men are incompetent, or evil...<br /><br />It's only natural that there be consequences to this. There are fewer marriages today than at any time in history. Under today's laws, it's just not worth it.Rich Vailhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17858759001158247969noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post-36370360507467276912010-10-27T05:52:55.276-07:002010-10-27T05:52:55.276-07:00I am the father of a gorgeous (she looks like my w...I am the father of a gorgeous (she looks like my wife luckily) 8 year old daughter. I plan on having "the talk" with her when the day comes. I have tried to help her understand the male point of view at every age, and will continue to do so until she gets married (which I hope is after I am pushing up daisies). <br /><br />In many ways, it is tough being a father today. My daughter has many (way too many) friends whose fathers are absent. They are easy to spot since when I am in a group setting and playing with all of the kids, they cling to me like lost puppies. You can see how they want a male figure in their lives. It is tough to navigate the foolishness that feminism has brought down on us "real" men today, and it makes me sad to see how many children and young women need a father/husband like I am, my Dad was, and my grandfather was.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com