tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post8890306405981866264..comments2024-03-26T06:17:49.527-07:00Comments on Had Enough Therapy?: It's the Wording, Stupid!Stuart Schneidermanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12784043736879991769noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post-18569443240283524162017-02-08T17:28:17.951-08:002017-02-08T17:28:17.951-08:00Ares, you are the King of Kontempt. Ares, you are the King of Kontempt. Ignatius Acton Chesterton OCDhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18222603717128565302noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post-21755972256047616242017-02-07T05:17:18.188-08:002017-02-07T05:17:18.188-08:00David Foster said... How about a contemptuous comm...David Foster said... How about a contemptuous comment or protest sign directed at the broad range of the president's *supporters*, especially calling out those who are blue-collar workers and other non-college-degree holders, where the source of the contempt is a tenured professor, a well-known journalist, a wealthy celebrity, or a Silicon Valley CEO?<br /><br />You'll have no argument from me on that, although obviously the whole problem is a conman like Trump takes easy advantage of class resentment, while having no real idea how to help. Many people hate unions that protect workers from competition, while that's about all Trump can potentially offer - protectionism.<br /><br />Henry Ford had the right idea - make products that employees can afford to buy. Of course if we were willing drive Model-Ts, cars would be a lot cheaper. America car makers are not interested in making modest cars - they just need easier zero-down financing on overpowered vehicles to keep the false-dreams going, and another year of dividends for their shareholders.<br /><br />We simply don't know what we should be able to expect, and the marketing world tell us lies, that we deserve the best, and financing will always be available if you sign your soul over to the devil.<br /><br />And it would be nice if we could build new house for under $300k, although we have to decide we don't need 3000 square feet, 3 bathroom houses for modern a 2.8 person family.<br /><br />We've designed an economy that can be great if you earn 6-figure incomes, and expect everyone else get into life-long debt in a false hope they can catch up later. <br /><br />I don't see Trump telling the middle to stay out of debt and demanding modest affordable housing and cars. I suppose we can feel good at least we don't have ghost cities like China has.<br /><br />And when the next economic crisis hits, families in debt will lose their jobs and will not be able to make their payments, and while too-big-to-fail corporations will demand bailouts, individual bankruptcy laws will continue to demand blood.<br /><br />Adam Curtis's "The Century of Self" seems a good history lesson, how marketing took over our expectations. If you don't defend yourself against it, you become a victim, and then you pick scoundrals like Trump to punish other people for your failed choies.<br />https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eJ3RzGoQC4s The Century of the Self<br />Ares Olympushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09726811306826601686noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post-24907681612651711162017-02-06T15:49:50.264-08:002017-02-06T15:49:50.264-08:00AO..."A contemptuous protest sign directed at...AO..."A contemptuous protest sign directed at the president is not on par with a contemptuous remark made by that president"<br /><br />How about a contemptuous comment or protest sign directed at the broad range of the president's *supporters*, especially calling out those who are blue-collar workers and other non-college-degree holders, where the source of the contempt is a tenured professor, a well-known journalist, a wealthy celebrity, or a Silicon Valley CEO?David Fosterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15464681514800720063noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post-44944444910439972442017-02-06T13:16:09.788-08:002017-02-06T13:16:09.788-08:00Trigger Warning has a good point. The whole proble...Trigger Warning has a good point. The whole problem with "offense" is that it subjective, and some people will be offended at the slightest "trigger", while others will avoid confrontation on "mistakes", as long as it seems the offense wasn't intentional.<br /><br />Stuart may be 100% right in the context of "true shame cultures", but there maybe different contexts and each may demand different strategies,<br /><br />I remember Thom Hartmann gave a personal story where he made some teasing remark about someone, and he didn't realize he was breaking a cultural taboo. But rather than reprimand him, the group members offered stories of other situations where similar transgressions were expressed, and after 2 or 3 testimonials, it was clear to Thom that he had been rude, and their example helped him find the proper words to correct himself and apologize.<br /><br />That was interesting to me because it suggested "showing you're offended" can be as taboo as "being offensive." So communication styles were designed to side-step the personal in the moment, and keep it safely ritualized into proper behavior.<br /><br />Myself, I've never done well with being teased, however friendly, and usually I'll pretend it didn't even happen if I can get away with that. But I've seen families where teasing is almost constant, and actually a sign of affection, and the "proper" response is a good comeback, rather than sulking away hurt until the offender steps up and apologizes.<br /><br />Avoiding rudeness can go so far that no actual conflicts can be expressed, and perhaps inferior results will come out. And Trump's "I don't have time for being politically correct" may sometimes be necessary to break open topics that need discussion despite the discomfort.<br /><br />Probably the middle ground is having the skills to be able to inhabit both contexts, the impersonal, where technical problems are faced, where no personal offense is allowed to be expressed, and the personal, where you really are responsible to for other people's hurt feelings. And the real skills are knowing where you are and how to move between these, and what to do when someone falls on the wrong side.<br /><br />This article sort of deals with this subject too, looking at contempt and power, basically putting responsibility on the powerful to not abuse their power to silence potentially weaker voices.<br />https://www.nytimes.com/2017/01/23/opinion/our-new-age-of-contempt.html<br />---<br />In his essay, “Freedom and Resentment,” P.F. Strawson described it as the difference between a participant attitude and an objective attitude. When we view others with a participant attitude, we regard them as fellow moral agents, accountable for what they say and do. <br /><br />When we view them with an objective attitude, we see them not as agents, but as objects to be managed or perhaps obstacles to be overcome. Contempt functions by shifting the targeted person from a participant relationship to an objective relationship. It aims to alter someone’s status by diminishing their agency. <br /><br />This is how contempt accomplishes its dehumanizing work — by marking its target as unworthy of engagement and thus not a full member of the human community. <br /><br />Contempt occurs in the context of social relationships that are themselves characterized by power differences. Those power differences have a profound effect on the shape of contempt and its effectiveness in diminishing the agency of its target. A contemptuous protest sign directed at the president is not on par with a contemptuous remark made by that president. ... Contempt expressed by the socially powerful toward the socially vulnerable is a much greater moral danger than contempt that flows in the opposite direction.<br />---Ares Olympushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09726811306826601686noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post-41474885250379678942017-02-06T12:17:38.128-08:002017-02-06T12:17:38.128-08:00This comment has been removed by the author.Ares Olympushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09726811306826601686noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post-54387627873960023822017-02-06T05:59:30.317-08:002017-02-06T05:59:30.317-08:00SS: "When you offend someone, by word or deed...SS: "When you offend someone, by word or deed, you are obligated to repair the damage..."<br /><br />No, Schneiderman, you are not.<br /><br />To begin with, having hurt feelings is not "damage". At least in any meaningful sense of the word.<br /><br />More important, however, is the simple fact that individuals exist whose feelings are so exquisitely sensitive to "microaggressions" that common words and simple questions could create an "obligation to repair".<br /><br />Fox News headline: "Texas County Official Sees Race in Term 'Black Hole'"<br /><br />Q.E.D.<br /><br />Trigger Warningnoreply@blogger.com