tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post9083877837144482988..comments2024-03-26T06:17:49.527-07:00Comments on Had Enough Therapy?: Good Fences and Good MannersStuart Schneidermanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12784043736879991769noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post-40531880411557617312017-05-05T02:20:42.726-07:002017-05-05T02:20:42.726-07:00Agreed overall, and I'm sure few disagrees as ...Agreed overall, and I'm sure few disagrees as much as everyone is trying to figure out how to get what you need in a world that often doesn't care what you need, and in the adult world, shouldn't need to care.<br /><br />And the Politically Correct people are just as interested in peaceable relations as anyone and its just that they are trying to dictate the standards of good manners to everyone else.<br /><br />I have a problem with an anti-gossip directive, although it is a tricky qualifier. If we start by assuming "Gossip says more about the gossiper than his target", that offers some clues.<br /><br />And to the defense of honesty, I also wish to see both sides. Socially it makes sense that we don't want to communicate directly, so for example, men are supposed to learn subtle cues that when a woman offer an excuse against going out on a date twice in a row within a short period of time, no matter what the excuses were, he needs to assume she is just saying no, but finds that impolite. Yet mixed signals may be the nature of humanity, so sometimes you have to be prepared to say things direct.<br /><br />On TW's claim of venonous insults from the left, certainly anyone hiding under the social justice banner should be worries right now that their good intentions are being sabotaged by radicals who are believe silencing free speech is serving a moral good.<br /><br />I saw this video recently, about a Berkley group called BAMN (By Any Means Necessary) that has been not just silencing the opposition but physically assaulting any scapegoat they choose. Sargon of Akkad calls them a cult, and gives some inner stories of members who got out when they disagreed with tactics, or just got tired of it.<br />https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZQwfTPqn5kc BAMN Are A Violent Cult<br /><br />So anyway, obviously people who have found a "tribe" you can can project all evil to those outside the tribe, have no fear of ostration. <br /><br />And I see how it can seem to be a credible approach, imaginging "I'm not a hater. I'm just trying to protect the innocent from other haters." And so this is also a part of the "Drama Triangle" - Victim - Perpetrator, and Rescuer, and as long as you're in the matrix of the narrative, you really can't see your own abusive behavior. And when you cover up your abusive behavior, it is justified because you're a leader of a moment to change the world, and your moral crimes pale in comparison to your rival haters.<br /><br />It does seem fair to call these people alt-left, and it might be fair to say alt-feminism exists within such movements as well, the militant position that says peace can't be reached until the opposition is destroyed. And the BLM surely also has an alt-BLM which works identically, and delegitimizes real issues of police bias that could be better expressed without attributing malice to the police officers.<br /><br />So all this agrees with TW, that it is simply too easy to "go radical" when you have your own tribe that can focus contempt onto an out-group.<br /><br />Still, obviously the more you descend to the level of your hater, the more they win, and the worse you can do to haters is to not respond by hate.<br /><br />Or like Jesus said in Matthew 5 about not only loving those who love you.<br />https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew 5:43–48:43<br /><br />I can see human life as having two drives - connection and autonomy, with women more interested in the the first, and men more interested in the second. If you need connection but don't have autonomy, you'll become a tyrant to those around you. If you need autonomy, but don't have connection, you'll sometimes find yourself alone and lost not know how to reach out when you need help. <br /><br />So the middle ground starts with fences (integrity) and then good manners can be an honest bridge to sane relations.<br />Ares Olympushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09726811306826601686noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post-80469661146030798852017-05-04T07:56:17.041-07:002017-05-04T07:56:17.041-07:00All that is very good advice for operating within ...All that is very good advice for operating within one's personal and extended social circle(s).<br /><br />Nevertheless, it's my observation that in the political arena, the Progressive Left goes out of its way to be as venomous, insulting, and abrasive as possible (e.g., John Oliver). Some cover the venom with a thin veneer of verbal camouflage (e.g., fellow commenter Ares), but the contempt and disregard for out-group individuals is always apparent. <br /><br />Failing to respond appropriately has been a strategic error for the conservative Right. It's important to remember that it takes two votes to end a bilateral conflict, but only one vote to start one.<br /><br />And speaking as a Christian, I truly do not believe the "turn the other cheek" admonition was ever intended to be a suicide pact. YMMV.trigger warninghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06310637474428322994noreply@blogger.com