tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post1040959655549610424..comments2024-03-26T06:17:49.527-07:00Comments on Had Enough Therapy?: Overcoming ShameStuart Schneidermanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12784043736879991769noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post-8295575966958000132018-03-27T10:38:03.275-07:002018-03-27T10:38:03.275-07:00Maybe this woman is under the illusion that life i...Maybe this woman is under the illusion that life is like the TV show, "Friends," and thinks she's missing out. She can be given a reality check that life isn't the TV show and it might be a big relief.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post-13616801474265742672018-03-25T17:25:55.147-07:002018-03-25T17:25:55.147-07:00Well I think that this one is pretty obvious, isn&...Well I think that this one is pretty obvious, isn't it? If everyone else has someone with whom they share an important part of their history and you are the only one who hasn't.... of course you feel left out. I don't see what shame has to do with it. You can practice your table manners to perfection, but still you will not share the intimacy that goes decades back.<br /><br />I had the pleasure of meeting my Best Friend from highschool after many years. She needed 10 words to describe my home situation. Let me assure you that it is pretty special to meet the only person on this planet who was able to see my life as I did as a teenage girl. I suppose the letter writer wants to acknowledge the difficult years of her own history one way or the other and does not find a current friend to speak about this.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post-77828007861294093272018-03-25T13:51:02.581-07:002018-03-25T13:51:02.581-07:00It does seem like the human mind will feel some di...It does seem like the human mind will feel some dis-ease, and try to imagine causes, and can get latched on a wrong cause, and if there is no way to test a conclusion, then the true cause is ignored. Self-pity over a lack of long time friends seems a false conclusion.<br /><br />I wouldn't have recognized shame in this case at all. I suppose I would guess there is something missing from her current friendships, some authenticity, and what has happened is that she has adapted her outward persona to certain roles, designed to fit her surroundings and found it constraining. <br /><br />The advantage of older friends is you can't hide things from them as easily, because you assume they can see right through it. Maybe focusing on wider customs and manners will make a difference, but probably there's already one new best friend within her reach she can't yet see, because they're both hiding behind personas that aren't quite who they are. And if she found that one friend, then the feeling of loneliness might evaporate. At least that can be tested.Ares Olympushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09726811306826601686noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post-49176104574581436832018-03-25T13:25:35.682-07:002018-03-25T13:25:35.682-07:00I have no friends from my school days, nor my coll...I have no friends from my school days, nor my college days. (I was not outgoing. And I moved away.) My friends of longest acquaintance are all from my military service days. We've all moved away, but stay in touch.Sam L.https://www.blogger.com/profile/00996809377798862214noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post-5554541495134837292018-03-25T13:03:08.628-07:002018-03-25T13:03:08.628-07:00I'm guessing George Friedman's experience ...I'm guessing George Friedman's experience was much like that of Alvy Singer's in Annie Hall:<br /><br />https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z8TSvMx2wPIsestamibihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03713681322114049960noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post-78801126925010560092018-03-25T12:53:50.220-07:002018-03-25T12:53:50.220-07:00ed in texas
I am so very lucky that I didn't b...ed in texas<br />I am so very lucky that I didn't become a psychiatrist. My first impulse would be to tell the woman: "Get over yourself. There's nothing wrong with your life, and you seem to suffer from Dilemma Envy."Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com