tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post3329359144543358242..comments2024-03-29T01:07:30.224-07:00Comments on Had Enough Therapy?: Restoring Desire in MarriageStuart Schneidermanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12784043736879991769noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post-90838513251150759882015-08-14T23:02:53.587-07:002015-08-14T23:02:53.587-07:00This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00278924587686134591noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post-66547493516502270272015-06-24T19:28:53.086-07:002015-06-24T19:28:53.086-07:00This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.Estellenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post-46563245966658660782014-02-02T17:58:42.109-08:002014-02-02T17:58:42.109-08:00The Insta-Prof recommends maintenance sex--it coul...The Insta-Prof recommends maintenance sex--it could be called Nike-sex: Just Do IT.<br /><br />I suspect I'm older than you, though maybe not by much. I remarried a few years ago Best sex of my life.Sam L.https://www.blogger.com/profile/00996809377798862214noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post-85523230922873926132014-02-02T13:37:57.552-08:002014-02-02T13:37:57.552-08:00"If you want to bring back the desire, try de..."If you want to bring back the desire, try depoliticizing your marriage."<br /><br />That'll be a challenge for feminists -- deliberately and methodically politicizing the relationship is a feminist goal. Raising their partner's consciousness and calling out their privilege is all in a day's work. They do this to friends and acquaintances too, with the encouragement and advice of other feminists. As Stuart writes elsewhere, imagine being married to one.<br /><br />One problem I have with the advice about introducing scheduled couples events is that it seems to spring from the presumption that something is missing from the relationship. I much prefer the tenor of the "try depoliticizing your marriage" viewpoint because I suspect it would be much more productive to look first for what might be driving or pulling the couple apart. (In business, the parallel thought is that the quickest way to raise your profits is to cut costs and reduce waste). For one example, here's a snip from a web article:<br /><br />===<br /><br />"I contend that swearing in general has lowered our language skills and is the rotting of virtually all meaningful relationships," says Mr. Rinderle, who was married for 28 years before his 1987 divorce. "To this day I often reflect that swearing was the beginning and perpetual fuel of my marriage decline."<br /><br />===<br /><br />Said another way, the distractions, counterproductive friends, and other pursuits that lead to the two people in effect living separately in the same house might be a cause of the two people growing apart, not an effect. <br /><br />While the couple is taking out the divisive trash, they can also consider adopting what can bring them together. But that might not be specific activities or techniques, like a scheduled "date night" or flowers every Friday. Laura Doyle, author of "The Surrendered Wife", might suggest that it's far better to observe that the masculine and feminine attract each other, and to consider how to re-adopt those roles. Make this foundational shift, and the regular sex will follow. Distractions will lose their compelling appeal, and be seen as trivial in comparison to the importance of a loving relationship.<br /><br />Lastangonoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post-12624428188240636172014-02-02T09:34:25.195-08:002014-02-02T09:34:25.195-08:00Interesting. This guy did a lot for my marriage - ...Interesting. This guy did a lot for my marriage - Athol Kay, and as far as I can tell, he doesn't even have a degree!<br /><br />http://marriedmansexlife.com/Leo Gnoreply@blogger.com