tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post4048947383733918764..comments2024-03-26T06:17:49.527-07:00Comments on Had Enough Therapy?: Why Don't They Like Her?Stuart Schneidermanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12784043736879991769noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post-49456247685669419012017-09-14T20:07:36.650-07:002017-09-14T20:07:36.650-07:00Has NTBL ever considered why half of the team DOES...Has NTBL ever considered why half of the team DOES like her? What's the difference in the half that don't?AesopFannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post-34655350650547434152017-09-08T18:37:09.492-07:002017-09-08T18:37:09.492-07:00I somewhat sympathize with NTBL (within limits), b...I somewhat sympathize with NTBL (within limits), because being well-liked by co-workers isn't always something one can fully control. I.e., sometimes it just "starts at the top", meaning that it depends entirely on whether the person in charge likes you, because everyone below the top level responds to cues coming from the top. <br /><br />For example, I've worked for some organizations where I objectively <i>didn't</i> fit in (e.g., due to age, experience, values, etc.) and wasn't well-liked by co-workers; but others where I also didn't fit in but <i>was</i> well-liked by co-workers. I've also had jobs where I objectively <i>did</i> fit in and was well-liked by co-workers; but others where I also did fit in but <i>wasn't</i> well-liked by co-workers. In all cases, it depended entirely on whether the person in charge personally liked me. (Indeed, this was true even within the same organization. I.e., co-workers who avoided me while reporting to a CEO who didn't care for me suddenly became my best friend when that CEO was replaced with someone who valued me.) So sometimes it just can't be fully controlled by the employee.<br /><br />That said, I guess anyone who's really adept at the game will always manage to get the support of whoever's in charge, even if it means changing (or at least pretending to change) his or her values, standards, priorities, etc. <br /><br />My sympathy for NTBL has limits, however. In particular, I doubt her problem is an inability to kiss the boss's butt. It seems more like a lack of ability and humility necessary to "read" her co-workers and adjust.JPL17https://www.blogger.com/profile/10649330420822802850noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post-57069042947752193132017-09-08T11:29:05.298-07:002017-09-08T11:29:05.298-07:00A failure of "external self-awareness" s...A failure of "external self-awareness" strikes again, but of course this is hard for all of us.<br /><br />It might be the only way she can see how she is seen is to look into her own past or wider relationships to people that annoy her, and whom she gives a cold shoulder to. At least then she could imagine "What would one of those people need to do to gain her esteem or attention?"<br /><br />I can imagine if she had ONE friend in the office she could trust, and ask that friend to be an objective observer, and discern how much animosity is real or imagined.<br /><br />Also this blog has in the past shown how first impressions matter, and if we come across as a prick, or prickly, to others, its much harder to change that, even if you try to change. But again, collectively she's outnumbered, and so a single friend can make all the difference. You don't have to make everyone like you, but if one person, does, others may look again and wonder why.<br />Ares Olympushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09726811306826601686noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post-79169506444837629872017-09-08T11:12:40.008-07:002017-09-08T11:12:40.008-07:00She is so full of herself there is no room (NO ROO...She is so full of herself there is no room (NO ROOM) for any one of her co-workers. Or so it seems to me. I could be wrong.Sam L.https://www.blogger.com/profile/00996809377798862214noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post-1385034500840286402017-09-08T07:01:34.052-07:002017-09-08T07:01:34.052-07:00With her obvious superiority in all things, I wond...With her obvious superiority in all things, I wonder why she "needs to be liked". I doubt Napoleon had this need.Jack Fisherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17873320680596889057noreply@blogger.com