tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post4408000636340153173..comments2024-03-26T06:17:49.527-07:00Comments on Had Enough Therapy?: "Miss Advised": Living the Feminist NightmareStuart Schneidermanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12784043736879991769noreply@blogger.comBlogger16125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post-48976120783725821342013-03-29T19:49:53.015-07:002013-03-29T19:49:53.015-07:00You're very old, aren't you....let me chec...You're very old, aren't you....let me check...Yes. You are.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post-90470851902037004662012-07-23T16:58:07.733-07:002012-07-23T16:58:07.733-07:00I agree with the overall analysis of the show, how...I agree with the overall analysis of the show, however, for much simpler, less psychological reasons.<br /><br />This show makes me cringe to watch because the fact is, the very people who are involved in dating services, giving dating advice or anything else in these genres always seem to have a difficult time finding a lasting, fulfilling relationship. I know, I actually know people in these fields and it is funny that people who are truly unqualified to dish out advice, are actually being televised. <br /><br />Take Patty from Millionaire Matchmaker... she is another fine example of do this .. don't do this, and she fails, time and time again... along with many of her clients! <br /><br />Miss Advised is one of the most difficult shows for me to watch, and I'm a reality freak, I relish in other people's chaos of life... it really does make me feel so much better about my own =P, but this show is just one of THE most painful shows I've ever seen, and after "prom night" I honestly can not ever bring myself to watch it again.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post-60565585719472808082012-07-09T14:41:19.886-07:002012-07-09T14:41:19.886-07:00I'm surprised Anonymous wasn't a plant.
W...I'm surprised Anonymous wasn't a plant.<br /><br />What a way to prove Stuart's point.<br /><br />This kind of extreme, censorship and suppressing of disagreement must stop.<br /><br />Kudos Stuart on not being silenced.RJnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post-6698269429625823712012-07-09T08:41:04.070-07:002012-07-09T08:41:04.070-07:00I continue to appreciate Theremustbeapony's th...I continue to appreciate Theremustbeapony's thoughtful replies to my post and her participation in this discussion.<br /><br />And here, without trying to resolve these issues, I would make a couple of points. I am glad that she accepts that biological differences matter. I wonder what she would say to a Darwinian who might argue that women were not sent out to fight wars because inn the calculus of reproduction their role was more valuable, thus, less easily replaced.<br /><br />Civilization has made it that work outside of the home became less dangerous and the industrialization revolution has made it that a woman's work in the home was no longer as necessary. Thus, civilization corrected itself and granted women greater freedom to choose the way they conduct their lives.<br /><br />This does not necessarily entail, as some feminists have had it, that being a wife and a mother are intrinsically degrading and that women can only be happy working outside of the home.<br /><br />When it comes to disparaging traditional women's roles, feminism has been leading the way. <br /><br />As for reproductive freedom, women in all civilized countries have it. Of course, some people want to threaten the right to an abortion, but that is radically different from women in countries who are not allowed out of the house on their own, who cannot drive cars, or who are genitally mutilated in order to keep them pure.<br /><br />It's worthwhile to make some distinctions here.<br /><br />As for Julia, Amy, and Emily, perhaps they have been corrupted by materialistic values, but I was merely trying to point out that they followed a basic feminist principle-- they chose to delay marriage and childbearing in the interest of developing careers. And they have succeeded on the career front, fairly admirably.<br /><br />I also believe that all of them would happily call themselves feminists. <br /><br />They have also lived the life of a sexually liberated woman, which is their prerogative, but I do not think that they understand how much those experiences entail trauma and how much those traumas have made it difficult even to engage in a conversation with a date.<br /><br />Perhaps it will appear so to some, but I do not think that it is too much of a stretch to consider that given the traditional disparagement of the role of wife, to say nothing of the much maligned role of housewife, it is consistent with feminism that not one of these women, supposedly looking to find a husband, looks like she wants to be a wife, or that she could be a wife.<br /><br />How many of them do you think a young man would happily introduce to his mother. And how many mothers would revel in the fact that one of them was going to be her daughter-in-law? <br /><br />Yes, they are egotistical, self-centered, materialistic-- up to a point-- but what do you make of the fact that Julia Allison's parents, for one, seem to possess none of these qualities?Stuart Schneidermanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12784043736879991769noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post-70253801125953732982012-07-09T08:22:16.362-07:002012-07-09T08:22:16.362-07:00I am happy to point out that Anonymous has provide...I am happy to point out that Anonymous has provided a good demonstration of the validity of my arguments.<br /><br />She may not think of herself as a radical or a zealot, but she certainly thinks like one.<br /><br />First, she refuses to see that there might have been a rational reason why women in primitive and pre-industrial societies spent more time at home with their children.<br /><br />To her mind it was the vast patriarchal conspiracy that is responsible.<br /><br />Biology and reality are blanked out by her ideological blinders.<br /><br />Second, as with most zealous ideologues Anon wants me to shut up. That means that she does not believe in open discussion and debate, but wants to suppress the speech of anyone who disagrees with her.<br /><br />Unfortunately, feminism, as an ideology, has taken its own fictions for reality, and it has, as Anon suggests confused equality, whether of rights or opportunity, with sameness.Stuart Schneidermanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12784043736879991769noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post-77970732178175535692012-07-08T16:45:49.903-07:002012-07-08T16:45:49.903-07:00Well, for argument's sake, let's accept yo...Well, for argument's sake, let's accept your premise that separate and obvious or appropriate basic roles for men and women are based on biology, not ideology. That applies then equally to men as it does to women. However, the roles of men and women in a patriarchy are not equally valued. And outside of procreation, the vast majority of these roles -- that have nothing whatsoever to do with physical strength -- are nevertheless doled out by the patriarchy according to power, status, profile, etc., with women throughout history being devalued or outright denied participation in arenas where biology could not even remotely be considered a determining factor. Women practicing science and medicine? Witches, heretics, criminals! BURN THEM! Even today women are not considered capable of making their own reproductive decisions or having the final word on the use of their own bodies; the patriarchy, as embodied in modern church and state -- in the West, Mideast, and the Far East -- believe their male-dominated institutions are the higher authorities. Recognition of a woman's integrity and right to equal citizenship/participation in modern adulthood are denied. <br />I believe we'll have to agree to disagree, Mr. Schneiderman. I don't see feminism as the root of all evil in the breakdown of modern society. I see it instead as one of many beacons of hope that all is not yet lost to ego, greed, corruption, and aggressive ignorance. <br />Which brings us full circle to this tv program. To me it's not at all about some built-in flaw of the feminist promise that inevitably leads to bitter spinsterhood; it is rather a pointed example of the corrupting influence of materialism: celebrity vs accomplishment, superficiality vs substance. And from what I last heard, those empty and destructive values are not the sole province of either gender. Perhaps you'll excuse me for suggesting, though, that they do however seem to have a decidedly macho-influenced undertone.theremustbeaponyhttp://www.icray.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post-64861610468115092002012-07-08T12:57:44.827-07:002012-07-08T12:57:44.827-07:00Feminism is the belief in and movement towards equ...Feminism is the belief in and movement towards equal rights. That's what it means Stuart. That is hardly an idealist ideology. Only in the face of the level of ignorance and sexism that you demonstrate. Don't confuse radical feminism with feminism per se.<br /><br />And yes the tethering of women to home was dreamed up, by men in power IN PRE-INDUSTRIALIZED SOCIETIES who decided women should not be allowed to vote. <br /><br />Stop talking about things you clearly don't know, you are offensive.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post-39750095291693410362012-07-08T08:10:28.373-07:002012-07-08T08:10:28.373-07:00I hope you're enjoying your day.
And thank yo...I hope you're enjoying your day.<br /><br />And thank you for helping everyone to evaluate the issues.<br /><br />When I speak about cultures evolving I am referring to their ending the practice of depriving women of property rights, voting rights, job opportunities, and the like.<br /><br />But when I speak about customs I also mean that the identification of women with home and hearth is not some imposition that someone dreamed up and imposed on women. There are good and rational reasons why women have always wanted to spend more time at home caring for their children and why the division of labor has had it that men, for being less attached to children, less capable of feeding them, and generally much stronger physically have been consigned the role of hunters.<br /><br />As feminist thinker Nancy Chodorow once said: only women mother. This reality corresponds to biology, thus, I would not call it an ideological imposition.Stuart Schneidermanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12784043736879991769noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post-12941446240650102202012-07-08T07:20:49.832-07:002012-07-08T07:20:49.832-07:00But Mr. Schneiderman, isn't patriarchal custom...But Mr. Schneiderman, isn't patriarchal custom, as you call it, the practice and institutionalization of the belief (i.e., ideology) that men are superior to women, that women don't have the wit or intelligence or fortitude to contribute to society on equal footing, their labor is less valuable, they should be prevented from participating in public discourse, should not hold property but fall instead within the realm of property, they shouldn't have dominion over their own bodies, etc etc etc. <br />In attempting to address this imbalance and bias, to understand it's origins and provide a countervailing point of view and new standard, what you call feminism has evolved from private whispers to myriad forms of public expression, including much debate within the so-called feminist ideology. I'm pressed for time as it is a lovely Sunday morning and I'm about to head out to enjoy it ... but interesting discussion.theremustbeaponyhttp://www.icray.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post-46816998477344106622012-07-08T06:46:45.675-07:002012-07-08T06:46:45.675-07:00Thank you, the point does require clarification. Y...Thank you, the point does require clarification. You are quite right, all ideologies, especially radical ideologies see are as propaganda. They believe, as a rule, that life imitates art and that the way to propagate certain ideas is to dramatize them in art. Then, apparently people will imitate what they see in art and change their ways.<br /><br />When I made the remark I was thinking of some of the attacks, I believe on Slate, on Aaron Sorkin's The Newsroom. While I have expressed many of my own doubts about the show, on this blog, the feminist criticism took the show to task for not presenting the kind of female characters that feminism would want to see.<br /><br />As for what you call patriarchal ideology, I would say that you are confusing ideology with customs. The structures of human society have evolved through custom and practice... that is not the same thing as to say that they have been imposed through someone's ideology.<br /><br /><br />As you suggest, feminism is an idealist ideology-- most are-- but once it is translated into reality it does not look as good as it looks in the realm of ideas.<br /><br />I do think that I should have been more clear on these points. Thanks for providing the opportunity for clarifying them.Stuart Schneidermanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12784043736879991769noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post-44264110033174512222012-07-08T06:35:53.481-07:002012-07-08T06:35:53.481-07:00"As we know, feminist ideology sees all art a..."As we know, feminist ideology sees all art as propaganda, valid only to the extent that it affirms feminist prejudice."<br />Who is this "we" you are referring to in "we all know"? <br />All art is propaganda? Interesting theory and perhaps widely held, but if so, I would imagine it's not just feminists who might champion such an argument.<br />Feminist ideology and prejudice? What is that but a common desire to see women liberated from the constraints and biases of patriarchal ideology and prejudice? Or any person's desire that a community organize itself on principles of equal opportunity and human dignity, regardless of gender, race, consensual sexual practices, religious or political beliefs, etc. <br />While I find many of your observations about the content of this program, Miss Advised, astute, I don't think it has a single thing to do with feminism. Rather, it seems to be putting a spotlight on the pitfalls of superficiality, materialism, selfishness, and ignorance.theremustbeaponyhttp://www.icray.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post-21951353446357568432012-07-08T06:22:05.426-07:002012-07-08T06:22:05.426-07:00Feel free to argue your position in the comments.....Feel free to argue your position in the comments... assuming that you know how. Using invective just makes you look like a fool.<br /><br />And yes, women who have lived their lives in a perfectly liberated fashion, and have announced to the world that they have lived liberated lives, who speak freely and openly about matters sexual are simply not on the track to find husbands. <br /><br />Like it or not, they do not present themselves as looking to become wives. Men will not and do not see them as wife material. And I promise you men's mothers will not want their sons to marry these women.<br /><br />That's the subtext of the show. Try watching it before you shoot your mouth off.Stuart Schneidermanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12784043736879991769noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post-44868129440306184182012-07-08T05:51:29.192-07:002012-07-08T05:51:29.192-07:00You clearly have zero understanding of what femini...You clearly have zero understanding of what feminism is. Don't talk about what you don't know. I suggest you read more, instead of imparting bullshit faux wisdom.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post-9473383165395665012012-07-05T16:02:00.930-07:002012-07-05T16:02:00.930-07:00Dennis:
The dysfunctional behaviors in our societ...Dennis:<br /><br />The dysfunctional behaviors in our society are progressive. There is an effort to normalize behaviors, which are not only not beneficial to individuals (other than in the sense of instant gratification), but especially have no redeeming value to either society or humanity, and often cause physical and mental injury to those who engage in them. There is a reason why more people consume psychotropic or reality distorting drugs, alcohol, etc.<br /><br />Unfortunately, while their behavior engenders evolutionary dysfunction, we are all victims of their selfish behaviors. For example, the ever increasing cost of providing medical services can in part be traced to individuals who are seemingly incapable of accepting responsibility for their own lives. They demand respect and offer none in return.<br /><br />And to think, people believe that homosexual behavior is prototypical of evolutionary dysfunction. It is, but the consequences are far greater when purportedly heterosexual individuals engage in behaviors which sabotage their own fitness, and it is exacerbated when they attempt to force society to accept their deviance as normal.<br /><br />That said, I find it perplexing that this behavior is not rejected by individuals who follow God's order, and others who follow the natural order. In both groups, the individuals acceptance of reality is selective when it conflicts with their principal desire to fulfill dreams of instant gratification (i.e. physical, material, ego).n.nhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04252447117532342957noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post-88113741753720308112012-07-05T05:48:11.566-07:002012-07-05T05:48:11.566-07:00And one wonders where Bill Clinton got the idea th...And one wonders where Bill Clinton got the idea that women were throw a way items to be used and discarded. Well there you have it. Feminism told him so.<br />If one has no respect for men why would one expect men to have respect for the? Feminism is a self limiting philosophy.<br />The longer I live the less things like this bother me because one begins to notice that it is they who suffer most of the problems. One wonder how they can be tied to a philosophy that makes them unhappy. If it is so great why are women constantly complaining and whining about almost every thing?<br />If feminists want to find the real enemy all they have to do is look in the mirror. Evolution will eventually discard them as not viable. Once one takes a long term view and extrapolates where this has to end it become interesting to watch.Dennishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14962996070458991675noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post-62539646269944004302012-07-04T14:37:18.164-07:002012-07-04T14:37:18.164-07:00In my bad ol days, I porked a bunch of those kinda...In my bad ol days, I porked a bunch of those kinda loopy chicks. It was very fun and I regret nothing. Of course I am now married to not one of those kinda chicks. We have a great life and lovely children. Those kinda chicks I enjoyed, I discovered on Facething simply got a new one of me to use them, but not as good cuz they are 8 years older. Hahahah!<br /><br />--GrayAnonymousnoreply@blogger.com