tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post6756843629175841910..comments2024-03-26T06:17:49.527-07:00Comments on Had Enough Therapy?: When Marriage Counseling FailsStuart Schneidermanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12784043736879991769noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post-66526195718196826192014-04-02T06:12:44.019-07:002014-04-02T06:12:44.019-07:00This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.Dorispinto1001https://www.blogger.com/profile/14918682377942602853noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post-41949575635871329892014-01-18T09:32:55.736-08:002014-01-18T09:32:55.736-08:00Pretty good information I have got from here about...Pretty good information I have got from here about marriage counseling experience of Taryn Hillin’s and whatever I got from here that's really informative as well. Thanks for sharing your experience with us.<br />Jasonhttp://www.counselingcareerguide.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post-64350847517205199932014-01-11T00:26:19.462-08:002014-01-11T00:26:19.462-08:00By "one experience" I mean one time that...By "one experience" I mean one time that she moved out, and the condition of her moving back was that we do "marriage counseling". It went on all one winter.Larry Sheldonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12653436584890594776noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post-81976943404390194222014-01-11T00:23:52.537-08:002014-01-11T00:23:52.537-08:00I had one experience with marriage counseling and ...I had one experience with marriage counseling and I will summarily declare it a failure even though quite a few years later I am still married to my first wife.<br /><br /><br />The thing that I wanted most when I greed to ti, was a referee--a person that would listen to us both and say, as appropriate "Larry, you are wrong here, think about a and b and c..." or "Mrs. Larry, you are wrong here ...."<br /><br />But that did not happen. At each session, she in one room, I in another, each with our own "counselor".<br /><br />Most often I would get a lit of things I needed to apologize for.<br /><br />Done. Meeting over.<br />Larry Sheldonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12653436584890594776noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post-30152171774564405252014-01-09T09:49:16.596-08:002014-01-09T09:49:16.596-08:00A positive outcome. Impossible for me to say what...A positive outcome. Impossible for me to say what would be the best outcome for them, but it was a good one, and likely better than most. Far better than recriminations, permanent bad feelings toward each other. Have a funeral for the marriage, bury the hatchets, and get on with your lives.Sam L.https://www.blogger.com/profile/00996809377798862214noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post-28304396249905254692014-01-09T08:17:50.075-08:002014-01-09T08:17:50.075-08:00One other ground rule is staying on the topic at h...One other ground rule is staying on the topic at hand rather than wandering off into the quick sand of each and every perceived slights....most important. <br /><br />Then we go into the phase of how we can do it better next time....so the focus stays in the present and future rather than the hellhole of the past.Webutantehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02139954791621532194noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post-42824978916985553582014-01-09T08:09:20.662-08:002014-01-09T08:09:20.662-08:00I couldn't agree more with the usually awful p...I couldn't agree more with the usually awful process of going back and letting it rip in a marriage counsellor's office.<br /><br />What I have learned over my years as a court mediator is the power of putting a healthier process in place with ground rules for respectful, even pleasant communication. In mediating even the most contentious court cases, both parties have to agree on the front end to the simpliest rules of courtesy and respect: stay in your own chair, no shouting, no name calling, no interupting, no snarling at your opponent and waiting your turn to talk.<br /><br />These ground rules are not rocket science but apparently are new to some people dealing with conflict. It cools things down rather than heating them up. We get agreement on these rules, then let it do its magic. We have deputy sheriffs in the next room in case things get out of hand but it's never been necessary.<br /><br />When people say what a good mediation it is...I give all the credit to the respectful process in which everyone leaves the room without injuries and usually with a sense of accomplishment. <br /><br />It's a very powerful and brief experience that can have lasting <br />effects. It is something we can all apply to our lives and relationships.<br /><br />Great post, Stuart.Webutantehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02139954791621532194noreply@blogger.com