tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post6800130208150678241..comments2024-03-26T06:17:49.527-07:00Comments on Had Enough Therapy?: "Everybody Gets a Trophy"Stuart Schneidermanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12784043736879991769noreply@blogger.comBlogger8125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post-49444823014945294722013-09-27T10:45:11.733-07:002013-09-27T10:45:11.733-07:00(Highly aggressive, violent people happen to think...(Highly aggressive, violent people happen to think very highly of themselves, debunking the theory that people are aggressive to make up for low self-esteem)<br /><br />A person who expresses care for self and others can be judged to have high self esteem. A person who expresses contempt for self or others can be judged to have low self esteem. Reports of high self esteem are not the "test" of high self esteem: the behavior must be considered in comparison to other modes of behavior.<br /><br />If I feel fit and worthy to live, there is no need for me to engage in acts of displaced aggression, so I treat others as I treat my self. And I treat myself to some degree as others have treated me in the past ... because I am an ape I tend to ape the good and bad behavior (I tend to keep the causes of pleasure and causes of pain active in my muscle memory).Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post-68068090916512530032013-09-27T09:53:55.662-07:002013-09-27T09:53:55.662-07:00I apply a very general model of self-esteem "...I apply a very general model of self-esteem "I am fit and worthy to live."<br /><br />Those who apply much more narrow definitions are engaging in moral judgments about specific behaviors.<br /><br />Are these people studying self esteem or chasing their own moral judgements around in a circle?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post-52638268593337803962013-09-27T05:56:45.695-07:002013-09-27T05:56:45.695-07:00Thank you, Gary and Dennis... I have heard tell of...Thank you, Gary and Dennis... I have heard tell of the phenomenon that Gary observed... it's good to have some verification.<br /><br />I am just starting to read the NY Mag article that Dennis links... it looks very interesting.Stuart Schneidermanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12784043736879991769noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post-13383325177067401442013-09-27T05:44:06.261-07:002013-09-27T05:44:06.261-07:00Anon,
Utter twaddle.
http://nymag.com/news/featu...Anon,<br /><br />Utter twaddle.<br /><br />http://nymag.com/news/features/27840/index2.html<br /><br /><br />"After reviewing those 200 studies, Baumeister concluded that having high self-esteem didn’t improve grades or career achievement. It didn’t even reduce alcohol usage. And it especially did not lower violence of any sort. (Highly aggressive, violent people happen to think very highly of themselves, debunking the theory that people are aggressive to make up for low self-esteem.) At the time, Baumeister was quoted as saying that his findings were “the biggest disappointment of my career.”<br /><br />Now he’s on Dweck’s side of the argument, and his work is going in a similar direction: He will soon publish an article showing that for college students on the verge of failing in class, esteem-building praise causes their grades to sink further. Baumeister has come to believe the continued appeal of self-esteem is largely tied to parents’ pride in their children’s achievements: It’s so strong that “when they praise their kids, it’s not that far from praising themselves.”<br /><br />It would behoove one to acknowledge that there is a wide diverse opinion, underline opinion, about self esteem and its affect and how far one goes with it. No one is arguing that self esteem does not play a part, but it is far from the main factor.<br />When one reads books and studies one is expected to read it with a critical eye towards facts and opinions.<br />You might try analyzing the larger ramifications of the self esteem movement and your comments as well. Though I did enjoy the attempt at humor. Drum roll please.<br /><br />Dennishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14962996070458991675noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post-61765930525604007202013-09-27T05:39:50.360-07:002013-09-27T05:39:50.360-07:00Working in an applied physics field (medical physi...Working in an applied physics field (medical physics), I have noticed over the years that young people have a lot of self-confidence but it is brittle.<br />If they do not understand something, rather than being able to accept that and move on to learning the answer (i.e. growing in knowledge and skill) they react with anger and try to claim that either they are really correct (when they obviously aren't) or that not knowing is somehow better.<br />A long experience of gradually dragging ourselves from our condition at birth (ignorance) to our desired state (knowledge), painfully, fitfully and with many side trips into folly, helps us cope with life challenges and our many failures. To err is human, to keep trying despite our errors is what makes us successful.<br />Self-esteem building (as now practiced everywhere) gives people a confidence in themselves that is a mile wide but an inch deep. Once the surface is damaged, they give up.<br />Sad for them but disastrous for society. Garyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16521152076906801929noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post-28122289341281446412013-09-26T16:17:17.227-07:002013-09-26T16:17:17.227-07:00I wrote the post at 9:49AM. Self esteem is a very ...I wrote the post at 9:49AM. Self esteem is a very important social process which transcends any particular skill or ability but relates generally to social pleasure and vitality. A person who does not get the benefit of his or her gifts likely suffers a social wound preventing enjoyment.<br /><br />Baby Jesus, pa rum pum pum pum<br />I am a poor boy too, pa rum pum pum pum<br />I have no gift to bring, pa rum pum pum pum<br />That's fit to give our King, pa rum pum pum pum<br />Rum pum pum pum, rum pum pum pum<br /> Shall I play for You?, Pa rum pum pum<br />On my drum<br /> <br />Mary nodded, pa rum pum pum pum<br />The ox and lamb kept time, pa rum pum pum pum<br />I played my drum for Him, pa rum pum pum<br />I played my best for Him, pa rum pum pum pum<br />Rum pum pum pum, rum pum pum pum<br /> Then He smiled at me, pa rum pum pum pum<br />Me and my drum<br /> <br />Drummer Boy LyricsAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post-66123279325957596812013-09-26T11:38:24.725-07:002013-09-26T11:38:24.725-07:00Years ago I had two friends who were extremely fin...Years ago I had two friends who were extremely fine musicians. One had studied from one of the finest brass teachers on the West Coast from the age of three. Consequentially he always received kudos about his playing and his self esteem was very high and from knowing him he believed he was fit and worthy. I remember marveling at the ease of his playing, the beauty of his sound and how the instrument just seemed to be a part of him<br />The other was as good, but he had to work to attain the skills and abilities he had. He faced a number of challenges and knew what failure was as well as success. He had learned how to conquer the "Wall" that exists in most of our lives.<br />As one would expect the first player finally hit the "Wall," but because every thing had come easily he could not find enough self esteem or knowledge of being fit as a social being to meet the challenges placed before him. Sadly he became so disgusted that he had a road grader run over his musical instrument and made a wall plaque out of it.<br />The second player, who had not had anyone trying to give him self esteem or proving to him that he was fit and worthy as a social being enjoyed a long playing career and a very happy life. His satisfaction came from knowing that he had the wherewithal to meet the challenges whereas the first player did not have that career or satisfaction. As I understand some of the people who have the greatest self esteem and belief of being fit an worthy of life as a social being are prisoners in maximum security institution. A goodly number of them had social problems.<br />The greatest joy in life does not come from people telling one how good one is, but from the satisfaction of knowing one has faced the challenges, good and bad and maybe not getting the "trophy at first, and accomplishing great things despite the approval of others.<br />When life gives you lemons make lemonade. Far too many people have become successful from backgrounds where the last thing they received was the feeling of self esteem or being told they were fit and worthy to live as a social being. Dysfunctional would be a common diagnosis for the early life.Dennishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14962996070458991675noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post-35222230366295747792013-09-26T09:49:57.549-07:002013-09-26T09:49:57.549-07:00In The Psychology of Self Esteem author Nathaniel ...In The Psychology of Self Esteem author Nathaniel Brandon ignores the psychogenic origins of self esteem in infancy, but he does recognize self esteem as a judgment passed upon the self in two forms: I am fit and worthy to live. <br /><br />This judgment is the result of a socialization process and it is a necessary component of cognition to judge the self as fit or unfit, as worthy or unworthy.<br /><br />Helping others feel fit and worthy to live would be the general idea behind coaching, teaching, or parenting. Pleasure must dominate this process because persistent pain causes a judgment that one is unfit and unworthy to live.<br /><br />Adults who assume they know how children should feel rather than being open to help self and others experience and process the meaning of feelings tend to cause pain inadvertantly. It is not about feeling pleasure always, but about developing the talent to sustain pleasure and moderate pain for oneself in relationship to others. The successful result of this process is a feeling of self esteem or of being fit and worthy to live as a social being.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com