tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post7149221683814596397..comments2024-03-26T06:17:49.527-07:00Comments on Had Enough Therapy?: Talking to a Child About Drugs and AlcoholStuart Schneidermanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12784043736879991769noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post-58930275925122040302015-03-09T10:59:39.845-07:002015-03-09T10:59:39.845-07:00Children should be taught the consequences of doin...Children should be taught the consequences of doing drugs and alcohol. They need to know what these and other risky behaviors actually do to their bodies and minds. It is part of being a good parent to educate children about the risks of such things.<br /><br />However, because children are not fully mature and do not understand the full consequences of their behavior, parents must also make rules and enforce them and thus train children to obey, even if they don't understand. <br /><br />It's much easier for a child to understand that if they do drugs, they will receive a punishment from their parents than that drugs might hurt their brains in some way or cause them to do something dangerous. <br /><br />Kids think they are bulletproof. They don't understand complex risks. And so, if they think the consequences of doing drugs (or alcohol or promiscuous sex or whatever) don't apply every time, they will take the chance, not understanding how much danger they are placing themselves in. That is why parents have to provide very clear consequences for risky behaviors that apply every time in order to help them avoid such behaviors while they are still children and cannot make informed risk assessments for themselves.<br /><br />Parental responsibility involves both education about risks AND protection from risky behaviors during childhood when they cannot make such decisions for themselves.Lindsay Haroldhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13094965953749825163noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post-35835613762046697992015-03-06T09:00:14.795-08:002015-03-06T09:00:14.795-08:00K. Here goes. Told my boys that if they always ans...K. Here goes. Told my boys that if they always answered truthfully to my questions the punishment would be mute. If caught in a lie, harsh. Seemed to work.<br /><br />As for the drug talk, totally disagree. I was blunt with them at 7 and 5 that if caught doing drugs things would not be pretty.<br /><br />Oldest has only consumed alcohol, the youngest weed a couple of time and alcohol. Both are over 20 and I feel no remorse as to how I handled the drug talk, and both are very well adjusted and go getters.<br /><br />Reasoning with a child? LOL! I was not their friend, I was their parent. Now I can be their friend because they are mature enough to take care of themselves.Leo Gnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post-3604607548535108712015-03-06T08:27:47.462-08:002015-03-06T08:27:47.462-08:00There are a lot of "shoulds" in this adv...There are a lot of "shoulds" in this advice. I wonder if that word works on parents any better than on kids? <br /><br />My thought is there's probably no singular approach that works well for all kids. But maybe if try a few different approaches one will do the trick?<br /><br />Hearing about "life experiences" of others is a good way to learn from other people's mistakes, and "do as I say, not as I did" worked for me.<br /><br />I remember in middle school, back in the 80's our health teacher brought in teen runaways to speak in front of the class, all of them experimented with drugs, and the two girls both got involved prostitution, both for money, and in exchange personal protection. <br /><br />I was surprised the teacher let them speak freely, and answer questions that had answers that were not all negatives.<br /><br />In comparison, I had no vice to copy from my parents. My parents never smoked or drank, and it never occured to me to do so, while my extroverted brother did both. <br /><br />And when my friends got into drinking in college, and one asked why I didn't, I said my parents didn't, and they decided that was a good reason. For some reason they thought I was judging them while I was just worried whether orange juice was spiked or not.<br /><br />One friend said he'd try anything once, like drugs, and I thought he was crazy, like why would you ever want to do something that makes you act stupid?<br /><br />I remember some quote, something like "When you're old, you'll regret the things you didn't do, rather than what you did do."<br /><br />I always wondered about that, but so far I've not found it to be true. Why do things unless you know exactly why you want to do them? <br /><br />I don't mind making mistakes when I'm trying something new, but I want to to be sober enough to see what happen. And if everyone else is doing something I don't know about, more reason to watch and see from a safe distance.<br /><br />Is this a very unusual trait?<br />Ares Olympushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09726811306826601686noreply@blogger.com