tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post8351649733888625140..comments2024-03-26T06:17:49.527-07:00Comments on Had Enough Therapy?: Giving Sex Away for FreeStuart Schneidermanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12784043736879991769noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post-21994566448854868882018-01-25T16:58:46.906-08:002018-01-25T16:58:46.906-08:00Wow, a David Brooks reference. Impressive.Wow, a David Brooks reference. Impressive.Ignatius Acton Chesterton OCDhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18222603717128565302noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post-50133105811476172512018-01-24T05:10:55.655-08:002018-01-24T05:10:55.655-08:00I wrote about MacDonald's article on my Jan. 1...I wrote about MacDonald's article on my Jan. 15 post.Stuart Schneidermanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12784043736879991769noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post-50064432645438348232018-01-23T17:52:03.568-08:002018-01-23T17:52:03.568-08:00I think it was Heather MacDonald who wrote an arti...I think it was Heather MacDonald who wrote an article about this incident and refered to the change in the default answer to 'will you have sex' from 'no' to 'yes'. That default 'no' meant society had her back when she wanted to reject a man's advances. She didn't have to rely entirely on her own agency to enforce her decision.Christopher Bhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00396671757183163171noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post-75694832032957314262018-01-23T13:10:51.269-08:002018-01-23T13:10:51.269-08:00My excuse for foolish behavior was "It was th...My excuse for foolish behavior was "It was the 70s." Not very good, but it's what I had. But what really makes this possible is the evil of easy abortion. Since you can send the product of your witless coupling down the drain, why not go ahead, even if you know you're going to regret it later.<br /><br />I am horrified by my behavior, even though I had the baby and gave her up for adoption, but it seems even worse now: all this knowledge about human behavior and girls still don't seem to have the agency to say a big fat NO!!! They just want to send signals without sending the surest one of all: getting up and getting the hell out. I feel like my behavior, in retrospect, was a whole lot more mature, and it wasn't mature at all.Tonestaplenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post-24423188739068549342018-01-23T11:23:35.457-08:002018-01-23T11:23:35.457-08:00David Brooks wrote an idealistic piece in response...David Brooks wrote an idealistic piece in response to the Ansari article, about the need for respect, and the limitations of agency (which honest feminists will wish upon all women), but he doesn't touch the gender divide and that hookup culture is more harmful to women than men.<br />https://www.nytimes.com/2018/01/18/opinion/human-touch-aziz-ansari.html<br />---<br />Two writers I greatly admire criticized the woman in the Ansari episode for not exercising more agency. If she was uncomfortable, she could have put on her clothes and hopped in a taxi.<br /><br />But that’s not how agency works. It’s not a card you pull out of your pocket and lay on the table. Agency is learned, not bred. And one of the things that undermines agency most powerfully is past sexual harm. The abuse of intimacy erodes all the building blocks of agency: self-worth, resiliency and self-efficacy (the belief that you can control a situation). <br />---<br /><br />Or like women of old were apparently taught to be brave and go out into the world eyes wide open, as this Atlantic article reminds, but it seems modern young women are more naive, that they have any agency to ask for anything better, and follow the foolish idea that you can give away everything for free, and still get what you want in return later. Maybe Brook's "disenchantment" and in a land of unlimited free porn, young women are unable to see their own self-worth that enables them to demand higher standards for how they are treated?<br />https://www.theatlantic.com/entertainment/archive/2018/01/the-humiliation-of-aziz-ansari/550541<br />Ares Olympushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09726811306826601686noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8078379512095504946.post-19135160593061121622018-01-23T11:01:05.068-08:002018-01-23T11:01:05.068-08:00Feminists hate (other) women. Or so it appears to...Feminists hate (other) women. Or so it appears to me.Sam L.https://www.blogger.com/profile/00996809377798862214noreply@blogger.com