Beautiful Woman Seeks Relationship

A beautiful woman seeking a relationship... nothing surprising about that. It isn't even that much of a surprise to discover that the beautiful woman in question is having trouble finding a boyfriend.

As we all know, a very beautiful woman can attract all of the male attention she wants without doing anything more than offer an imperious smile.

Beauty can be a blessing and a curse. A beautiful woman does not have to work at gaining male attention, and therefore will not both to work at building her character. Beauty might be catnip to men, but bad character will most often act like man-repellent.

That is how a beautiful twenty something New Yorker describes her situation to Wendy Atterberry at the Frisky. Link here. Via Instapundit.

I had not previously known about Wendy Atterberry's advice, but she is surely among the best. She offers sane and sensible counsel to a woman who is evidently lost in the New York dating funhouse.

The woman in question has clearly absorbed enough of the self-esteem culture to have become convinced that she deserves to have a boyfriend.

And Atterberry explains that such an entitled attitude is the wrong way to approach a relationship.

It leads to situations where men are perfectly happy to exploit her,  only to discard her after a few weeks.

Unfortunately, the boyfriend-less woman has been trying to overcome her disappointments by doing some Jaclyn Friedman sex positive feminist therapy: that is, she has been going out, getting drunk, and having lots of one-night stands.

(Here is a link to my comments on Jaclyn Friedman's contention that sluttiness is therapeutic. Link here.)

What seems to have worked for Friedman does not work for our advice seeker. For the reason I explained in my earlier posts. Friedman uses her experience as an affirmation of her commitment to the feminist cause. Our beautiful woman does not seem to have an ideological commitment; she merely wants to find a boyfriend.

And she, with considerably more integrity than Friedman, shows us that her series of one-night stands has given her a mindset that is not conducive to relationship formation.

Meaning that she finds that when men are interested in developing a relationship, she does not trust them, she questions their motives, she psychoanalyzes them.

As you might guess, that remark caught my attention. Wherever did she learn to psychoanalyze her prospective mates? Could she be suffering from too much therapy?

Strangely enough, if you learn from psychoanalysis or psychotherapy how to distrust your own and everyone else's motives, you do not even need to have undergone the repeated traumas of successive one-night stands.

Psychoanalysis can, all by itself, teach you the habit of distrust. Then you should not be surprised to discover that your ability to give yourself to a relationship has been seriously compromised.