As a woman who spent 17-1/2 years in a loveless marriage, praying and hoping the man would change, I can only say AMEN to your post. Marriage isn't about whether he wears those running shoes that she hates or whether the toilet paper goes over or under the roll. It is about mutual respect. If one of the parties is so disrespectful of the other that they do not keep their word, even in the 'little' things, then it does not matter what the emotions FEEL like because this is NOT love, no matter how much she may wish it were so.
"When he doesn’t show up, for whatever reason, he has abused your trust and wasted your time, your energy, and often your money. If you have planned to spend time with him, when he fails to keep his promise he has wasted your time."
this will actually make the woman want him more.
@Trailer Dweller yes, and i bet you probably were turned off by 'nice' men and put up with this BS because your husband was sooooooo cool! no matter how many of you go through this you will never learn. individually yes, when it is too late of course. but as you finally learn, a new one will be making the same "mistake." this will end when your sacred "choices" destroy civilization completely and we have to start form scratch.
"I think it abject folly to imagine that a man who allows his emotions to rule his mind will remain loving throughout your life."
The majority of women I have known in my life, both romantically and non-romantically, have been ruled by their emotions. At least to a greater extent than men. Do you believe your analysis to hold true for both sexes?
I believed he was a "nice guy", though immature, when I married him. He was definitely not "cool". Yes, I bought into the line that he would become more mature as he aged. As a practicing Catholic (at the time), I tried to make the marriage work, believing divorce was not an option. Unfortunately, he never did grow up, and we divorced eleven years ago. I have since met and married an ADULT man. The love and respect are mutual. I am not quite sure what 'sacred choices' of mine are destroying civilization. Your bitterness is palpable. Perhaps you would care to elaborate as opposed to resorting to ad hominem accusations.
I think that women by and large are far more intelligent about relationships than men. They read situations through emotions and reasons, and most often they do not allow themselves to fall in love with just anyone.
Marie Claire seems to be encouraging women to be irrational, whichis quite different from emotional.
Mine always promises we week do something....even told me to bock my cameras off to spend time together then doesn't follow through. Like today, told me we would do something and not to work so I clear my calendar to take today and the weekend off.... told me to get a pet sitter....last night at 6pm tells me on the phone he's working..... so nothing. And he calls me ungrateful for being so hurt. Last Friday he tells me to go home after sidi and pack a bag because we were leaving for the weekend g for a surprise trip.... surprise! We didn't go as usual. I'm tired of getting my hopes up and then being crushed. Does this 1 to 2 times a month then blames me for it all when I get upset and hurt and I'm wrong for being disappointed And crushed. Calls me selfish for expecting him to keep his word.
My boyfriend tells me yesterday were gonna go on a 5 day cruise, so I got so excited I told our kids and got super excited as well. Well today when I found a good price he had woken up from a nap and all I did was say his name and he got all pissed off cause he knew I was gonna ask for his credit card and he got mad on purpose so I can say forget it. After he's the one that came up with the vacation idea. He also said that he was gonna buy me an engagement ring after 12 yrs together but that never happened..ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
As a woman who spent 17-1/2 years in a loveless marriage, praying and hoping the man would change, I can only say AMEN to your post. Marriage isn't about whether he wears those running shoes that she hates or whether the toilet paper goes over or under the roll. It is about mutual respect. If one of the parties is so disrespectful of the other that they do not keep their word, even in the 'little' things, then it does not matter what the emotions FEEL like because this is NOT love, no matter how much she may wish it were so.
ReplyDelete"When he doesn’t show up, for whatever reason, he has abused your trust and wasted your time, your energy, and often your money. If you have planned to spend time with him, when he fails to keep his promise he has wasted your time."
ReplyDeletethis will actually make the woman want him more.
@Trailer Dweller
yes, and i bet you probably were turned off by 'nice' men and put up with this BS because your husband was sooooooo cool! no matter how many of you go through this you will never learn. individually yes, when it is too late of course. but as you finally learn, a new one will be making the same "mistake." this will end when your sacred "choices" destroy civilization completely and we have to start form scratch.
"I think it abject folly to imagine that a man who allows his emotions to rule his mind will remain loving throughout your life."
ReplyDeleteThe majority of women I have known in my life, both romantically and non-romantically, have been ruled by their emotions. At least to a greater extent than men. Do you believe your analysis to hold true for both sexes?
Your point is logical, clear and blatantly obvious,and thus, sure to be completely ignored by most readers of Marie Claire.
ReplyDelete@Anonymous (in response to my inital post)
ReplyDeleteI believed he was a "nice guy", though immature, when I married him. He was definitely not "cool". Yes, I bought into the line that he would become more mature as he aged. As a practicing Catholic (at the time), I tried to make the marriage work, believing divorce was not an option. Unfortunately, he never did grow up, and we divorced eleven years ago.
I have since met and married an ADULT man. The love and respect are mutual.
I am not quite sure what 'sacred choices' of mine are destroying civilization. Your bitterness is palpable. Perhaps you would care to elaborate as opposed to resorting to ad hominem accusations.
I think that women by and large are far more intelligent about relationships than men. They read situations through emotions and reasons, and most often they do not allow themselves to fall in love with just anyone.
ReplyDeleteMarie Claire seems to be encouraging women to be irrational, whichis quite different from emotional.
Gosh, there is really much worthwhile data here!
ReplyDeleteMy husband NEVER keeps his promises. I can't think of one he actually has kept.
ReplyDeleteMine always promises we week do something....even told me to bock my cameras off to spend time together then doesn't follow through. Like today, told me we would do something and not to work so I clear my calendar to take today and the weekend off.... told me to get a pet sitter....last night at 6pm tells me on the phone he's working..... so nothing. And he calls me ungrateful for being so hurt. Last Friday he tells me to go home after sidi and pack a bag because we were leaving for the weekend g for a surprise trip.... surprise! We didn't go as usual. I'm tired of getting my hopes up and then being crushed. Does this 1 to 2 times a month then blames me for it all when I get upset and hurt and I'm wrong for being disappointed And crushed. Calls me selfish for expecting him to keep his word.
ReplyDeleteChrissy Grant....WHY are you with that man??? My goodness leave him.
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ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
ReplyDeleteMy boyfriend tells me yesterday were gonna go on a 5 day cruise, so I got so excited I told our kids and got super excited as well. Well today when I found a good price he had woken up from a nap and all I did was say his name and he got all pissed off cause he knew I was gonna ask for his credit card and he got mad on purpose so I can say forget it. After he's the one that came up with the vacation idea. He also said that he was gonna buy me an engagement ring after 12 yrs together but that never happened..ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
ReplyDeleteThis is the best blog I've ever ever read.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
ReplyDelete