I wrote admiringly about clinical psychologist Meg Jay last year, so I am happy to present a link to a TED talk she gave about the perils
and the promise of being a twentysomething.
My thanks to commenter Leo G for drawing our attention to it
in the comments section.
To my mind Jay is pointing toward a new and more productive
form of psychotherapy. As you listen to her recount the way she worked with
Emma, you will see that she does not shower Emma with empathy, does not tell
her to introspect and does not talk about Emma’s issues.
Jay’s approach is practical and tough-minded. She does not
want her twentysomething clients to believe that their post-college years are a
time for purposeless meandering, an extended adolescence that should be
indulged while waiting for adulthood to arrive.
She helps Emma to get a grip on her life, to make a plan and
to take action to change what she can change.
Very telling. A month after I had finished high school, my father let me know in no uncertain terms, that as of Aug. 1, I would be expected to pay room and board. Outta school, get a job.
ReplyDeleteI had planned to take a year off, just slacking. I cannot express the gratitude enough for my father's wisdom.
Why, why, why how JUDGMENTAL!
ReplyDeleteLeo G,
ReplyDeleteI, his mother was not too happy with me, told my son somewhat the same, but said that it was time for him to start making his way in life. I gave him two weeks to find something and mentioned that I would throw him out otherwise. I know he feels the same way about his father that you do.
I am really proud of him because he has done really well. It hurt my soul, but I knew he had the wherewithal to succeed. He just needed to be "kicked in the butt."
There is an old saying, "Pay me now or pay me later." Never waste any part of your life because that is how one garners the tools in one's "tool box" of life. The more tools, experiences with reality, the more one is capable of meeting and surpassing the challenges and exigencies of life.
Take vacations when one has the wherewithal to really enjoy them and the means to do it Also there is not a person that you meet, no matter what age, station, et al, that doesn't have something you can learn from them if you only pat attention. There is nothing in life that someone has not already faced.
Life is a great big learning experience. No matter how much one knows one knows nothing in the larger scope of things.
The greatest joy in life is to have the wherewithal to do anything one desires and know that one has earned it.