A Millennial's Guide to Office Etiquette

Sad to say, but the millennial generation has become something of a joke. Members of that generation misbehave so consistently that they have lent themselves to withering caricatures.

One understands—because one is nothing if not understanding—that the fault lies with their parents and the school system. That is, with whoever failed to teach them manners. I will add that they are the products of parents and teachers who imagined that their primary task was not to educate, not to help build character, but to do therapy. That is to shower their children with empty praise, never to criticize them, never to correct their faults and to allow them the freest unconstrained expression.

Anyway, this generation needs help. And it needs good advice. Under the circumstances we are naturally inclined to turn to the Daily Mail. This time the paper does not disappoint. In a William Hanson column it lays down the proper markers.

Describing this group as entitled and self-aggrandizing, Hanson offers some guidelines for the world of work… which some of us consider to be the real world.

He begins with a lesson in hierarchy. Since millennials believe in equality, they do not understand hierarchy. They think that they are as good as they think they are. They insist that everyone else agree. So, they never learned to respect authority or to practice deference.

Hanson begins:

Know your place!

You may have been captain of the rugby team at school, a pretty big deal with your university’s social committee; your parents may be oozing with pride for you, but, millennials, when you join a firm in a graduate position you are bottom of the pile.

Get used to it or get out.

Next… millennials have mastered the art of communicating in incoherent text messages. They need need to put down their iPhones and raise their tired eyes… to look another human being in the eye. That will put them on the road to learning the art of conversation, of speaking to someone face to face:

The millennial generation have grown up with technology at their fingertips and are skilfully adept at holding conversations via Whatsapp, iMessage and email. When it comes to interfacing with human beings in the flesh, where communiques from one’s lips cannot be edited before emitting, they struggle.

To truly excel above the (hopefully) friendly competition of your peers know when to turn off the buzzing mobile and step away from the slavish keyboard.

Want to make your clients feel special and wanted? Ring them to arrange your next meeting, send a hand-written thank you note after you attend one of their events, and don’t look at your phone once when you get together.

We can call it the human dimension. Treat other people like human beings and you will profit.

Hanson then mentions that you should constrain your wish to gossip, to repeat what others have said, to talk trash about other people. When someone confides in you, keep what they say in confidence. If you don’t you are showing that you cannot be trusted. And you are showing that you are in it for the entertainment, not for the business:

Office ‘banter’ is not a human right.

Camaraderie in an office is healthy – it helps bond a team – but this is not an extended stag do, or a night out with ‘the girls’. Keep the banter dial turned down to low. Or to off: off is an option, too.

It’s all about decorum and propriety. Precious few millennials have been taught such skills, but they have not disappeared. They should begin by getting over themselves. They will advance when they learn how important it is to care about other people.