Go Pet a Lion

The economy is humming. The markets are-- sorta-- booming. Jobs are going begging. So, America needs outside help. It needs people who will do the jobs that Americans won’t do.

Like… petting a lion.

Yes, indeed. How many Americans would be willing to pet a lion? Not many, you say. Well, such is not the case in Honduras. You remember Honduras. It is the source of many members of the migrant caravan snaking its way north toward the American border.

So, just in case some of these fine Central Americans make their way to America, you want to be prepared. You want to know what they will do to contribute to American prosperity.

Consider this as a job application. A drunk man at the  Rosy Walther Zoo in Tegucigalpa, Honduras waved through the bars at a male lion. Then when the lion came closer the man reached out to pet the lion. Someone or other, the lion was not in on the joke, so he mauled the man’s arm-- he must have thought it was lunch.

You've heard of people who whisper to horses. Why not pet a lion?

This, from the Daily Mail:

Now, I know that you think I have some special prejudice against Hondurans. In the interest of being fair and balanced, I recall for your attention the following event, which occurred at the Melbourne, Australia zoo some three decades ago. A man who had mastered the art of Kung Fu jumped into the lion’s enclosure at the zoo… in order to demonstrate the superhuman strength he had gained from doing martial arts.

Guess what: he lost. I will spare you the details.

I bet you thought I was going to say that petting lions was a new form of psycho therapy. Sorry to disappoint.