Social Worker Warriors

Now that the Minneapolis City Council has voted to disband the police department, and to replace police officers with social workers, and now that New York City Mayor Comrade de Blasio promises to defund his police department, the Babylon Bee has courageously stepped forth to propose the next step:

Disband the Navy SEALs. Are all races represented proportionally in the SEALs. We imagine that they are not. Besides, SEALs are taught to kill, and we can’t have that.

In place of the uber-tough SEALs, we will now send social workers to deal with terrorists. We will send a band of wide-eyed bushy-tailed female social workers into terrorist encampments. They will ask the terrorists to explore their feelings.

There, that will end terrorism.

The Babylon Bee has this report:

—The Navy SEALs are being disbanded and replaced with a new branch of the military: The United States Social Workers.

The social workers will be dropped into terrorist hideouts to talk with militants about their feelings and defuse the situation. The move was made as a push against police work and firearms continues across the nation. As people continue to call on police departments to be defunded, the next logical target was the Navy SEALs.

"I can tell that you're angry at America -- do you want to talk about that?" one social worker asked after she was dropped off at a terrorist compound in Afghanistan. The terrorist replied by firing his AK-47 into the air.

"Interesting!" she said, scribbling down notes. "Tell me about your relationship with your father."

No social workers have returned from their deployments yet, but when they do, they will file a report and schedule a follow-up visit a month or so later.

Of course, what happens when the terrorists decide that these social workers are a gift from Allah-- for other than therapeutic purposes. Is that why no social workers have returned from deployment?