Donald Trump Returns to Twitter

You will be delighted to learn that Donald Trump has returned to Twitter. So says the Babylon Bee, a favorite satirical site. (via Maggie’s Farm)

How did Trump manage to worm his way back onto to Twitter. Why, the Bee explains, he disguised himself as a Taliban spokesperson.

Yes, indeed, the Taliban is allowed on Twitter, but the former president of the United States is not. Were it not for our completely feckless and indolent Congress, the American government would long since have cracked down on the tech monopolies.

The Bee reports:

Trump has been allowed back on Twitter after disguising himself as one Donhammed Trumpistan, a newly hired spokesperson for the Taliban. As Trump had previously been banned from the service, then allowed back on after disguising himself as a spokesperson for the Chinese Communist Party, then banned again once he couldn't help himself and started claiming the election was stolen again, this is simply his latest ploy to get back on social media.

"Allah be praised. Allah is pretty great, maybe the best ever. Everyone says so," 'Trumpistan' wrote on Twitter as his first post. "That Joe Biden is really screwing things up over here. What a sad, pathetic loser! Oh man, they're making me do the prayer thing now. Why do I need to pray? Very humiliating! Not good!"

He also promised to "make Afghanistan great again" and wrote on his new Twitter account that "Afghanistan is back, baby!"