Dr. Jill Biden Laments

Whatever does it mean when a husband insists that his wife lets her hair grow? More precisely, what does it mean when he tells her that if she cuts her hair short in a Pixie cut, he will divorce her? Could it mean that he has a hair sniffing fetish? 

Enquiring minds want to know, so Carolyn Hax has shared the letter.

The letter writer has chosen anonymity. One wonders whether she is expressing the feelings of women who are married to men who have an uncontrollable hair sniffing fetish. For instance, like President Joe Biden.

Here is the letter:

My husband and I have been married 15 years, and about five years ago we nearly got divorced. Lots of therapy later, we are in a better place.

During the rough times, I had a pixie haircut I loved. He hated it, and said a) he isn’t sexually attracted to me with that cut, and b) he can’t stay married to someone he isn’t sexually attracted to. I grew back the hair, but always missed it.

Now that we are in a better place relationship-wise, I want to cut it short again. He sees this as a return of the bad times, and doesn't understand why I would do the one thing that “blows up our relationship.” Which means he thinks of this as a selfish act.

I told him a) hair is not responsible for bad times, b) the cut would be different, and c) it is my body. Long hair is hot and requires maintenance so this is not to stick it to my husband, though the therapist did explore this with me. Any suggestions?

-- Dr. Jill Biden

OK, to be fair, the woman who wrote to Hax signed herself Anonymous. But still. 

Hax hints at the issue in this remark:

The terms only appear worse with scrutiny given the political implications, with long hair as femininity marker (sexually desirable) and short as empowerment marker (sexual turnoff). I'll leave it for you to decide whether this generalization applies specifically here.