Miscellany

First, yesterday Pennsylvania senator John Fetterman showed up for work wearing shorts and a hoodie. No one really knows what it means, but some have plausibly suggested that his cerebral deficiencies make it difficult for him to deal with zippers and buttons. And yet, said deficiencies did not prevent the good people of Pennsylvania to send a clown to represent them in the United States Senate.

Anyway, Fetterman drooled out the following comments a few days earlier at a senate hearing. One understands that we like to laugh at the morons in the Biden administrations, but Fetterman has really outdone them with this, regarding the government bailout of the Silicon Valley Bank

 "Shouldn't you have a working requirement after we sale [sic] your bank—er, with billions of your bank? Because they see me [sic] pre-preoccupied when then [sic] SNAP, uh, in the requirements for works [sic] for hungry people, but not about protecting the— protecting tax papers [sic] you know, that will bail the matter [sic] whatever does [sic] about a bank to crash it."

Second, the country is being consumed by the beer wars. Bud Light, formerly the best selling beer in the nation, has not recovered from the sales crash that followed fast upon its associating itself with trans woman Dylan Mulvaney.

Some people are complaining about the notion of boycotts, but after all, it’s a free country and we are all free not to drink Bud Light. Next time, try Heineken.

The issue now is, do we all have the right to say unnice things about the marketing executives who have foisted this campaign on us and who are working to normalize transgenderism? 

Considering that transmania is being foisted on us by school boards and our federal government, without most people having a democratic say in the matter, one reluctantly says that they do.

Not to be outdone, Miller Lite, embarrassed at the spike in its sales, sent out a slightly dated feminist ad where an actress named Ilana Glazer discusses fertilizer over and over again. She uses the word, shit, because people who drink Miller Lite use the word all the time. Apparently, being a feminist means talking shit about beers, after declaring that women invented beer, brewed beer, and drink tons of the stuff.

Anyway, some people started calling for a boycott of Miller Lite. But, worse yet, they said some decidedly unnice things about the executive who fomented the feminist ad. Her name was Sofia Colucci.

Again, the leader of the company that owns Miller Lite was seriously outraged. You can say whatever you want about their beer, but you have no right to speak ill of their executives. It hurt her feelings, and, being a strong empowered woman who sends out ads where some woman I had never heard of talks about shit, she is highly sensitive to nasty speech.

Third, not to be undone in the race for being the most ignorant and incompetent marketing operation, sportswear manufacturer Adidas introduced a swimsuit ad where the model was a male. They were apparently trying to crack the drag queen market, because said male was obviously a transvestite, which is not the same as a transsexual.

 This feels like peak stupid, because, however much we dare conjecture about women, do we really believe that the average woman, when she puts on a swimsuit, wants to look like a drag queen?

Fourth, the United States State Department, an august part of our federal government, has gotten into the pronoun business. It has decided to assign what it considered to be correct pronouns to all staff. As though the State Department under the fearfully pathetic leadership of one Antony Blinken, had nothing better to do with its time.

Anyway, as it happens, some staff were assigned the wrong pronouns. Heaven forbid, and this produced a diplomatic crisis. Within the department, that is. Outside of the department the world, such as it is, must have been laughing-- and not in the good sense of the term.

You will be happy to hear that our heavyweight diplomats discovered a perfectly appropriate and non-binary solution to the problem-- they are providing free therapy for those whose feelings were hurt by being assigned the wrong pronouns.

You might imagine, when we mock these imbeciles, that we are exaggerating for effect, or that we are engaging in some Babylon Bee level satire. 

Unfortunately, under the leadership of a man that Sen. McCain denounced as weak and feckless, our very own State Department is making satire unnecessary.

Fifth, and this is not very good news for New Yorkers, but it is amusing for those who like a good laugh at the expense of New Yorkers.

It is not about the climate or even the temperature or the weather. It is about the weight of New York skyscrapers, as weighty a bunch as you can imagine. As it happens, and according to the latest in geological research, New York’s grand buildings are causing the city to sink. Pretty soon it is going to be overrun by water from the sea, the ocean and the surrounding rivers.

So, New York City, especially Manhattan Island, is sinking into the sea, and this has nothing to do with greenhouse gasses.

Happy to keep you informed of the week’s follies.

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