Boredom and Gratitude

Are you bored? Do you find life boring? Do you find your friends and family to be insufferable bores? 

Perhaps you are simply depressed, detached and feeling down. At the least, you are not connecting with others and feel like you lack purpose. Besides, you do not feel like you desire much of anything and do not gain any pleasure from pleasurable activities.

Well, psycho researchers have found a solution. You can overcome boredom by putting yourself on a gratitude drip. An infusion of gratitude will help you to overcome boredom and will render your life more meaningful.

I will confess that I agree wholeheartedly with the gratitude side of this equation, but that I find the appeal to concepts like meaningfulness to be vapid. No one really knows what it means to have a meaningful life. 

When you are bored, you will feel like whatever you are doing is a waste of time. You will feel numb to stimulus and will feel disengaged from other people. As I noted, it seems to be another term for depression.

Vladimir Hedrih reports on the recent research for PsyPost:

Boredom is defined as “the aversive experience of wanting but being unable to engage in satisfying activity.” It is a negative emotion associated with a perceived lack of stimulation, interest, or engagement in one’s environment or activities. Boredom often accompanies feelings of restlessness, dissatisfaction, and a desire for change or novelty. It can arise from repetitive tasks, a lack of challenge, or a mismatch between an individual’s interests and their current situation.

Boredom is often intertwined with feelings of meaninglessness and is associated with various adverse psychological outcomes, such as depression, anxiety, or stress. 

It sounds bleak and depressing. The researchers recommend curing it with gratitude:

Gratitude, which is the appreciation of what is valuable and meaningful in life, can potentially mitigate feelings of boredom by shifting focus from what is lacking to what is present and positive.

As noted the studies glom on to the concept of meaning.

Similarly, boredom is inversely related to the meaning in life. When individuals perceive their activities and existence as meaningful, they are less likely to experience boredom. A sense of meaning in life provides a sense of purpose and direction, which can counteract the feelings of emptiness and disinterest that characterize boredom.

As I said, I find this to be blather. As for what it means to find meaning in life, the therapy world tends to recommend that you turn your life into permanent psychodrama. Live out a story and you will not be bored. You might become insufferable, but it beats boredom.

The important issue is not that you feel gratitude. It is-- that you show gratitude. If someone does you a favor you should return the favor. That shows gratitude. 

If your heart is brimming with gratitude and other positive emotions toward the other person, and you do not return the favor, and do not even say thank-you, you are an ingrate. 

That is, you engage in an adult transaction, one where you are both giving and receiving, interacting with another person, connecting with him. The point is not what you are feeling but what you are doing. You will notice that the researchers seem not to have considered this possibility.

Individuals feeling more gratitude tended to feel much less bored (Study 1). Individuals feeling more gratitude also tended to experience more meaning in life. Statistical analysis suggested that gratitude might increase the experience of meaning in life, which, in turn, reduces boredom (Study 2a). This link between gratitude, meaning in life, and boredom remained even after controlling for the positive and negative emotions one feels (Study 2b).

I defy anyone to tell me how you can find more more meaning in life. And yet, when I speak of the moral obligation to return favors, to engage in exchanges with other people, you will know exactly what I mean.

True gratitude requires you to engage in a constructive exchange. It is transactional. Your feelings are only incidental to the process. At the least, your consistent practice of the proper exchanges will cure your boredom.

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