If Joanne Lipman is right, women who enter the workplace do
not adapt easily to the prevailing masculine ethos. Shockingly, they do not act
like ersatz men; they act like women.
This does not make them less equal, Lipman suggests, but it
does mean that men must accommodate their difference.
Lipman argues that women’s womanly behaviors—real or assumed--
cause them to lose out on business opportunities, to be paid less and to have
fewer promotions.
Of course, this assumes that women want exactly the same
thing as men want. It assumes that women, who Lipman says have different
cultural habits, want to follow exactly the same life plan as men. If women's normal cultural habits are more valuable somewhere other than the workplace, perhaps women choose to invest more of their time and energy elsewhere.
Lipman fails to respect women's choices. And she believes that women should not to be penalized for making choices that value home over the job.
If a woman, Lipman explains, wants to extra time off or
refuses certain assignments because she wants to spend more time with her
children, companies should accommodate her preference.
But, will a woman who takes more time off to care for her
children be as respected as workers who do not? It does not seem unreasonable to conclude that a
woman who takes more personal time is seen as less dedicated to her job, and
thus less apt to provide leadership?
Life is about trade-offs. A woman who believes that her
presence in the home is crucial for her children should not complain about the
fact that she loses out on a promotion to someone who has not done the same.
Besides, people respect leaders whose decisions are assumed
to be what are best for the company. If your staff starts thinking that you
have divided loyalties and that your decisions might have something to do with
your personal life, they will be less apt to respect your leadership.
Lipman does not recognize this possibility. In fact, she
believes that the real consequences that obtain when a woman acts like a woman
on the job are the fault of men… or stereotyping and privileging.
To her mind, when women do not advance in their careers, men
are at fault.
She never considers the possibility that women do not, at
the end of the day, rise up the corporate hierarchy because they do not sell
themselves as completely to the job as men do.
She does not, in other words, respect women’s choices. She argues that women want exactly the same thing that
men want and that they should be given it, regardless of whether or not they
have earned it.
Beyond the fact that it is riddled with contradictions,
Lipman’s article is an extended and disagreeable exercise in male bashing.
Naturally, she denies it categorically:
The
point isn’t to blame men. In my view, there has been way too much man-shaming
as it is. My aim instead is to demystify women.
But then, she goes on to blame men. Women want to be considered as equals in the workplace, but their
habits are different. Since their feminine habits do not align with the
workplace culture, Lipman wants men to adopt. If men do not do as she is telling them to do, women's lack of success is their fault.
This means that men are to blame for women’s cultural
habits.
In Lipman’s words:
I am
convinced that women don’t need more advice. Men do.
Now
don’t get me wrong. I love men. I’ve spent my career as a journalist at
publications read primarily by men. All my mentors were men. And most
professional men I’ve encountered truly believe that they are unbiased.
That
said, they are often clueless about the myriad ways in which they misread women
in the workplace every day. Not intentionally. But wow. They misunderstand us,
they unwittingly belittle us, they do something that they think is nice that
instead just makes us mad. And those are the good ones.
In
short, men could use a career guide—about women. So I set out to discover what
frustrates and perplexes professional men about the women they work with. My
goal was to get to the bottom of issues that men face every day: why women
often don’t speak up at meetings, why they can seem tentative when they do
speak up, why there are so few qualified women in the management pipeline
despite good-faith efforts to recruit them.
We are happy to know that Lipman loves men. We are
happier to know that she owes them her professional success.
Yet, she has a funny way of showing her gratitude.
It’s one thing to be an equal. It’s quite another to ask for
special consideration because you cannot adapt to the ambient culture.
Lipman argues that when women are reminded that they are
women their performance suffers. The reason, she believes, is that women are
stereotyped as less capable than men.
The thought is strange, because how many women do you know
who manage, when they walk into the workplace, to forget that they are women.
Doesn’t this also suggest that if a man and a woman are
competing for a promotion, the man can undermine his female competitor by reminding
her that she is a woman?
By now, most men are cognizant of the dangers entailed by
sexual harassment, so they have adopted more subtle, more polite and more
courteous ways of treating women like women.
When Lipman argues that men must give special consideration
to women, doesn’t this enforce what she calls a stereotype? If so, her argument crumbles.
Lipman explains:
A lot
of this stuff seems innocent, but research tells us that just reminding women
of stereotypes undermines their cognitive performance and confidence.
In a
1999 Harvard study of 46 undergraduate Asian women, researcher Margaret Shih
asked some of the participants questions that highlighted their gender, such as
whether they preferred co-ed or single-sex dormitory floors. She then gave all
of the young women a 12-problem math quiz. Those who had been reminded of their
gender solved an average of just 43% of the questions—six percentage points
below the performance of a control group that had been primed with neutral
questions (and 11 percentage points less than women reminded of their Asian
heritage).
In most cases, when people talk about stereotypes, they mean
that gender is a social construct. And yet, Lipman is saying that women are
so fundamentally womanly that they cannot act like men, even when they are told
to do so. If that is true, womanliness is essential, not incidental.
As for the notion of privilege, those who traffic in this
concept assume that it is fundamentally unjust to privilege one group as
against another.
But, don’t groups garner different reputations for different
levels of success in the world. If one assumes that a male is more likely to be
a great military commander, that might have something to do with the fact that all of the great military
commanders have been men.
One suspects that nearly all of the bad military commanders
have been men too.
As for the question of whether armies would do better if
they were commanded by women, there’s an easy way to find out. Promote more
women, add more women at all levels of the armed forces and see what happens.
If the armies do better, then all past humans have made a
grievous mistake. If they do not, if the presence of women proves to be too
much of a distraction, if the presence of women promotes what is gingerly
called fraternization and leads to the dismissal of a large percentage of the
officer corps, then perhaps it was not such a good idea.