Thursday, July 2, 2009

True Love: Problem or Solution?

Are American marriages suffering for want of true love? Are Americans divorcing in record numbers because they have allowed feminism to kill their impulse to wallow in the maddest of mad passions?

Apparently, Cristina Nehring thinks so. In her book, "A Vindication of Love," she argues that relationships would be so much better if we all allowed ourselves to be swept away on wings of ecstatic love. Better yet, she blames feminism for having instilled a more pragmatic approach to marriage, one that has been bad for our relationships.

Of course, all of this was before Mark Sanford's mewlings became the new standard for true love.

In my view we place too much importance on love, imagining that it will solve all problems. Sometimes it succeeds... by blinding us to reality.

Anyway Michelle Cottle offers a spirited response to Nehring's book on The New Republic's blog. She argues that true love is the problem, not the solution.

In her words: "... most people... go through life craving the rush of romance, the giddiness, the drama, the can't-eat-or-sleep-because-you're-so-in-loveness of it. Any experience less soul-shattering is a sell-out, baby. Love isn't love, we are conditioned to believe, unless it makes your stomach hurt and your nose bleed. This all sounds irresistibly intense for those who grew up reading too many romance novels of whatever century. But talk about a recipe for raising fucked-up women."

I'm sure that that makes you want to read the entire post, so here's a link.

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