Saturday, August 15, 2015

The Case for Marrying Young

Life is full of trade-offs. There are advantages to marrying when you are older, but there are also risks. And while there are risks involved in marrying younger there are also potential advantages.

To make an informed decision, one needs to consider both sides of the risk/reward equation.

Mary Sauer lists some of the benefits to marrying young. Hers is an excellent summary, so I share some of it.

First, when you are younger you are less set in your ways. The younger you are the fewer bachelor routines you have. Thus, you do not have to undo your bachelor routines to create couples routines. Since this is one of the greatest difficulties older married couples have, it is well worth the emphasis.

Second, creating a life together is easier than merging two independent lives. Yes, I know, you cherish your independence. Still, to function as part of a married couple, you will need to overcome your tendency to go it alone.

Third, the younger you marry the more stable your life is… sooner. That means fewer hookups; fewer failed relationships; less stress about finding a date or a relationship. And, as Sauer points out, fewer sexual partners means less exposure to STDs.

Fourth, the younger you are the less pressure there is to start a family right away.

Such is the case for marrying young. Some will say that a young person is not quite as fully actualized as an older, more adult individual. A young person does not know his or her mind as well as an older person.

True enough. This means that if you are young and in love and are considering marriage, you do well to seek out the advice of those older and wiser than you—say, your parents—and put more trust in their judgment and less trust in your emotions, affections and libidinal longings.

With one caveat: the culture being what it is, most of today’s parents believe that anyone who wants to marry young is showing signs of mental illness.

Good luck.

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