What a Piece of Work Is a Man

The first rule is this: if you want to know what masculinity is, don’t ask a woman. 

Ruth Whippman is certainly a competent journalist, but her mind runs afoul in her recent New York Times essay on masculinity. The reason is simple. Aside from the interspersed studies, she tries to understand masculinity in terms of feelings, emotions and her own capacity for empathy.

The truth is, a man who claims to feel your pain is lying to you. If you insist that he become more empathic he will teach you a new kind of pain.

As we have occasionally pointed out, research has shown that the best way to enhance empathy circuits in the brain is to get pregnant. Most men miss out on this experience. 

Besides, being a man has to do with what he does, not how he feels.

It is basic sociology that when a society is feminized, when men are deprived of their rules of protecting and providing, the only form of masculinity that seems viable is a grotesque caricature called machismo.

Machismo involves thuggery. It involves being a man by beating on and abusing women. The alternative is manliness as gentility, whether the gentility of the Victorian gentleman or of the Confucian gentleman.

It involves acting responsibly and reliably. Being someone women and men can count on. Being someone who protects and provides. And especially someone who follows the rules, even when they contradict how he feels or what he really, really wants.

Naturally, the problem has been feminism. Once feminism persuaded women that making homes was a form of enslavement, they chose to develop careers outside of the home. They could provide for themselves and could protect themselves-- because they are strong and empowered.

This meant first that women were now competing with men in the marketplace and the battlefield. The notion of protecting and providing for such a being became superfluous. 

But it was also disruptive. Feminists imagined in their fever dreams that men would compensate for women’s unwillingness to do housework by becoming house husbands, by spending more time doing laundry and chestfeeding babies. Men felt that the demand was an indignity and they either went on strike or else walked away from the home.

Moreover, men who are competing against women are not in a relationship of cooperative complementarity. This fostered hostility between the sexes. 

When household roles are not defined, this creates confusion and chaos. Disrespecting traditional male roles leads men to become resentful.

Among the other rules that define masculinity is this: A real man does not marry a courtesan.

That is to say, a woman who wants to be respected must act as though she respects herself. Everyone knows what that means. I will not explain it in more detail. 

In addition, a third rule is this: a real man does not marry an idiot. Clearly, men should respect women for their minds, not just their physical attributes. That means that they should marry women who have minds, who do not dribble word salads while giggling like schoolgirls. 

Some men might find this form of mindlessness to be attractive. One would not be surprised to discover that said men mistreat women.

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