How Not to Socialize

It isn’t a secret. America’s social fabric lies in tatters. It is not merely a question of liking or liking each other. People do not get along. They do not know how to cooperate or to socialize. In many cases they simply do not care. 

Our country is divided against itself, and it does not know how to heal the breach. 

The most trendy explanation blames it all on gadgets, thus, on smartphones. The case against these gadgets is compelling and persuasive. And yet, it feels a bit like blaming drugs for addiction. 

The more salient question is why people feel so disconnected from each other that they indulge an ersatz human connectivity via their smartphones. 

Today we have two different studies that seek to address the problem. They reveal two aspects of the problem: multiculturalism and remote work. 

The researchers did not connect the studies, but we can conjoin them for a single post.

The first study, published in the Journal of Social Psychology, reported by Eric Dolan in PsyPost , explains that people are naturally inclined to socialize with others who are similar to them. It’s called similarity-attraction theory.

In truth, this is not a new idea. Harvard sociologist Robert Putnam did a study, entitled E Pluribus Unum,  that showed what happens when we engineer more diverse neighborhoods. People do not get along. They do not socialize. They do not engage each other. They tend, in his phrase, to hunker down. 

Forcing people into multicultural social configurations, the kind that you see in television commercials ad nauseam, does not produce social harmony. It produces social dislocation. 

One understands that at a time when everyone is terrified about being exposed as a bigot, fewer and fewer people are willing to risk opprobrium. Why would you try to socialize with people who belong to different racial or ethnic or national groups if you risk being tarred as a bigot?

As for the solution, Putnam suggested that we need to have an encompassing monoculture, one that all belong to equally.

But, that is not all. Another study has shown that remote work, the latest covid-induced fad, is bad for your mental health. The reason: the less you are in the office, the less you are interacting with colleagues, managers and subordinates, the more you will lose your social skills. You will feel isolated and detached, to the detriment of your mental health.

The New York Post has the story:

A shocking 25% of remote workers say their social skills declined since going fully remote, with millennials being the most susceptible to the harms of telecommuting, a ResumeBuilder.com survey of 1,000 US workers found.

Transitioning to a remote set-up full time has many employees struggling with behaviors and norms expected in social settings, including initiating conversations (18%), maintaining eye contact (16%) and participating in group discussions (15%), the November study found.

Evidently, and correctly, the study analyzes the components of social interaction. One might consider them to be like muscles-- you need to work them lest they atrophy. This suggests that if you do too much remote work, and do not compensate with a rich social life outside of the job, you will need to make an extra effort to regain your social skills.

Nearly one in five remote workers reported their overall mental health has taken a nosedive, with almost two-thirds citing a lack of social connection as contributing to their psychological decline, and 57% pointing to an increased sense of isolation.

Of course, the study does not tell us what else might or might not be going on in these people’s lives. If a woman has children at home or if she has an active social life, remote work might not be quite as negative influence.

Working outside of the office, however, has a positive impact for some, with about 38% reporting their mental health improved and 46% claiming it remained the same.

And yet, mental health notwithstanding, remote workers often miss out on promotions.

Beyond crippling employees’ mental and social health, the out-of-office set-up is a career killer for some.

An analysis of 2 million white-collar workers by Live Data Technologies found full-time remote workers were 35% more likely to be canned and 31% less likely to get a promotion in 2023, compared with their in-office colleagues.

So, we have two factors contributing to America’s shredded social fabric. They are not the only factors, but they still need to be taken seriously.

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