Wednesday, October 8, 2014

Jennifer Lawrence on Consent

Jennifer Lawrence is right to be outraged. When hackers published her naked selfies without her consent they violated her privacy. Their behavior was disgraceful, if not illegal.

In her Vanity Fair interview Lawrence adds this note, by way of explaining why she was taking and sending the aforementioned pictures.

In her words:

I was in a loving, healthy, great relationship for four years. It was long distance, and either your boyfriend is going to look at porn or he’s going to look at you.

Say what?

Apparently, the young generation has transcended phone sex.

But still, why are these the only two options for long distance relationships?

Is a relationship loving, healthy and great if your boyfriend tells you that he feels compelled to look at images of naked female bodies, and either you offer up yours or he gaze adoringly at the nakedness of Allie Haze and Bobbi Starr?

Doesn’t that feel like extortion?

If it does, how much consent is a woman really giving when she feels obligated to send out naked selfies because otherwise her boyfriend will masturbate to images of porn stars?

Is this a new definition of a loving, healthy great relationship?


9 comments:

Anonymous said...

Didn't read iv, but I'm v impressed by the young (24?) lady. She seems wholesome, genuine, (overly) candid, humorous, and not a bit intoxicated by herself.

She's surrounded by sharks, sociopaths, ruthless exploiters, semi-criminals, drugs, nut jobs, and smooth talking handsome grifters who seduce women for sport and profit -- all, mind you, much more experienced, sophisticated, educated, ruthless, and older.

What exactly was her loving BF doing that was so much more important than her and what she was doing -- for 4 bloody years? Who is he?

I'm v sentimental about girls and young women. I hope Jen doesn't go the way of so many young stars, of both genders. Justin. Brittney. Lindsay. Others.

Taylor Swift's dad is an accomplished executive, w/influential contacts. Who does Jen have? She's only bloody 24! -- Rich Lara

Stuart Schneiderman said...

Absolutely... she has always impressed me as one of the best of her generation. And has handled herself very well, as you say, considering what she is surrounded by. And she is a very talented actress. One wishes her the best.

Dennis said...

It must be a sad idea that a relationship is conditional on "porn." We have been married over 50 years, and a lot of that was with times that included lengthy separations where the knowledge existed that we may never see each other again. Never once did we have to resort to "porn" to keep grounded in our feelings for each other. We actually wrote letters, long hand, and exchanged tapes and the occasional phone call. There were times when we were on travel and one of us would travel to where the other was just to have time together. There is always a way.
Isn't this indicative of the damage that feminism has done to young women who believe that the have to do sexually oriented things in order to maintain a relationship. One wonders who really controls one's body. If one wants to see real passion read the love letters between say General Douglas McArthur and his wive or those of those "oppressive" men in the Victorian Age when writing to the women they loved.
In one case a woman has to take off her clothes to maintain a man's interests and in the other women could maintain a man's interests just by being their loving selves. It would seem to me that "Baby you have not come a long way?" You have no concept of what it is to be loved and to love someone.

Anonymous said...

Dennis: I don't think the Golden Age was all that.

Mac had under-age mistresses all his life before marriage. Don't know about after.

The Victorians were massive hypocrites and scoundrels. They screwed their servants & employees. If a girl got pregnant, she was "discharged".

They whored enthusiastically, and had mistresses. King Bertie still had a few when he was too stout to do much.

There were vastly more hookers than now. Randolph Churchill died of syphilis. Society ladies, including his wife, had endless affairs. Jenny's 2nd son was the offspring of a cavalry officer named "Strange".

I know there were many good people in the era. We have many now. -- Rich Lara

Dennis said...

Rich,
I am not trying to make the Golden Age" more than what it was. I was, I hope, pointing out that women did not have to resort to "selfies" to maintain a relationship. What they did otherwise is up to them.
What you state is true, but it is not very different now. I am reminded that every time I see WH used for the White House the fact that JFK made it into the Whore House and the utter rashness of his decision making. Power draws those who would like power.
Indiscretion are a part of each generation because human beings are human beings. What I am pointing out is the pressure put on young women to be sexual beings vice a complete human being. The idea that one has to resort to "porn" in order to have and maintain a relationship should not be pushed by a society.
I have some feeling for parents who have daughters who have to deal with this pressure put on their young children to be sexual sans the ability to mature enough to make better decisions for themselves.
An aside here, I was in Best Buy trying to get the information I needed to make the change from iPhone to Samsung S5. I am not sure why, but the conversation from the young black man turned to him relating that his young daughter was pregnant and how this was affecting his wife and himself. The first question I asked him was, "Does he love his daughter?" You cannot change what happen, but you can talk these things out and provide a foundation for things to work out. No parent should have to deal with the results of what feminisms damage to young women has engendered and the expectations that the actions of "Stars" place on them.
I like Jennifer Lawrence, but she is a product of what feminism has wrought. I note that we have all kinds of reference to how football players are roll models, but that it does not seem to be an item of discussion for other people who are role models. It would appear that there is a double standard here.

Anonymous said...

Anecdote: 50s NYC. Store owner to his son. "What is power?" "Uh, politicians, Generals, money, bombs, police..."

Spits out cigar juice. "Nope. Not even close. It's right here on the sidewalk.
Women. They make the world."

J.Campbell: "Woman is Life. Man is the servant of Life."

I wrote a speech for my Admiral. A Gold & Blue Star Mother convention. I began by noting he began his career as a baby and tiny boy, under his Mother's care, and a mild joke about it. He ripped it out.

Topic is close to me. My Ma was mentally ill. I'm lucky to have survived.

Me: Mothers make men. Bad Mothers make bad men. And countries & cultures.

"The Pill" and Counterculture changed everything. I hope our girls regain their former status. -- Rich Lara

n.n said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
n.n said...

I think Lawrence is confused. Either her boyfriend will look at her or restrain himself. Either she will act as a lady or be a slut. People shouldn't have such low expectations of themselves and others. It's degrading to human dignity. She should start with rejecting nude self-portraits. Some way, some how, they will find their way into the wild. You certainly don't want to openly publish them in semi-public/private spaces.

Kaiser Derden said...

I'll bet that her "boyfriend" was still looking at other porn ... next time send him a dvd and delete the pics afterwards ...