Thursday, December 29, 2016

New Year's Irresolutions

As the New Year approaches everyone seems to be making resolutions. But, what if you are feeling especially irresolute? What if you do not want to follow any of the advice I offered yesterday, about breaking bad habits?

Well, my friend Bird Dog, of the Maggie’s Farm blog, has just the list for you. I will call them New Years’ Irresolutions. The good thing is, they are especially easy to keep. And when you keep them you will at least have a sense of accomplishment, or, should I say, of dubious achievement.

Here goes:

1. I will not exercise at all and will avoid all forms of difficult or tedious exertion beyond walking around and looking at stuff
2. I will gain weight
3. I will resume smoking
4. I will watch more TV and movies, and read fewer books
5. I will do more take-out and minimize home cooking
6. I will quit vegetables entirely
7. I will not clean out or sort out a single closet
8. I will have a messy desk and disorganized paperwork
9. I will do more things at the last minute, or tomorrow
10. I will buy one more firearm I don't need
11. I will make the HQ a Sanctuary Space for dustballs
12. I will throw more recycles into the regular garbage
13. I will continue to try to avoid the dentist and doctor
14. I will waste more of my precious lifetime looking at ephemeral, meaningless BS on the internet
15. I will ignore "Check Engine" lights and seatbelt alarms
16. I will work harder on loving myself whether I deserve it or not
17. I will give more credit to myself, and less to God.

Have at it! And don’t say I don’t care!


Trigger Warning said...

I firmly resolve to drink more champagne.

Sam L. said...

I resolve to ignore resolutions.