Dealing with Inappropriate Male Attention

Some women crave male attention. Some women do not. It depends on the woman and on the male. Yesterday, Miss Manners addressed the complaint offered by a divorced woman who apparently attracts the wrong kind of male attention. That would be, attention from married men. We do not know whether or not the wives of said married men are friends with the letter writer.

Here is the letter:

I am a single, older, divorced woman, and over the years, I have been the target of inappropriate advances and sexual comments by married male acquaintances. In the past, I have brushed these off, but I now feel that this lack of respect deserves a reply.

In addition, these men (and others) try to attract my attention by being "cute," which I find most annoying. I do nothing that I can think of to attract this unwanted attention. I am friendly, open and have an optimistic view of life that seems to attract these type of folks.

What is the appropriate response?

So, for the moment we will ignore all other salient issues. As in, whether or not she might be naturally flirty. I assume that we are not allowed to ask such questions.

Anyway, Miss Manners is happy to offer a hierarchy of brush offs:

Just as there are levels of offensive remarks, from the tasteless joke to the smarmy compliment to the outright proposition, there are levels of responses — from the cold stare to the abrupt and wordless departure, on up to “How dare you?” said loud enough to attract others’ attention.

As usual, this is utterly correct. We cannot do better. I would only remark that the last counts as public shaming... the kind you are told not to do. And yet, it is perfectly appropriate.

  

But then, Miss Manners closes with a remark that all young women should take to heart, because it refers to what the feminist matriarchy has told women to do:

Miss Manners assures you that when administered, these are more effective than any lecture about sexism, which such an offender is bound to take as cute.

We can only marvel at the ironic flourish. What if today’s woke young women had learned from Miss Manners how to deal with inappropriate male attention? Alas, we can only dream.