The poster patient for Prozac has grown up. She has also
aged.
She may or may not be clinically depressed, but Elizabeth
Wurtzel is seriously unhappy.
The promise of Prozac, touted so fulsomely in her first
book, has now turned to gall.
Wurtzel has morphed from depressed child to celebrity writer
to law student to unemployed lawyer and back again to memoirist. In so doing, she has squandered the fame and fortune
that the American celebrity culture bestowed on her.
She does not, of course, hold herself or anyone else accountable for her problems. Prozac does not activate anyone's moral sense.
Many have envied and resented Wurtzel for living the life that
they, had they not been so tied to conventional values, would have wanted to
live.
Many more envied and resented her because her writing is so
much better than theirs.
It would be better still if it had more substance, but Wurtzel is still an excellent writer.
Yesterday, in New York Magazine Wurtzel exposed more
about her currently dismal circumstances.
She was saying, not quite in these terms: don’t envy Elizabeth Wurtzel
anymore.
If this self-portrait does not binder the evil eyes that have
been cast on her for nary onto twenty years, nothing will.
By now, Wurtzel's plight elicits sympathy. Many of her detractors, however, seem to have lost their capacity for human feeling. They have been piling on. Why, they ask, did
she not tell about her bankruptcy, about being sued by a publisher for not
handing in a manuscript on time and about losing her job as a lawyer?
They are puzzled that Wurtzel frames her
narrative around a severe emotional trauma: after subletting an apartment from a
woman named Maria she was stalked and harrassed, invaded and robbed by said Maria.
Eventually, the situation became so threatening that Wurtzel called for help.
She told her boss, famed
litigator David Boies what was happening, and how she had tried to deal with it
as an independent person. Boies listened intently and told her to get out of
her apartment immediately.
Wurtzel as damsel in distress was rescued by an eminently
paternal prince charming… that’s her story.
It’s a literary trope like another. It seems to state a
truth that many would prefer to ignore.
How did Wurtzel find herself in a state of distress and
anguish? She had chosen not to conform to society’s conventions. Refusing to
conform, she has learned, exacts a price:
It had
all gone wrong. At long last, I had found myself vulnerable to the worst of New
York City, because at 44 my life was not so different from the way it was at
24. Stubbornly and proudly, emphatically and pathetically, I had refused to
grow up, and so I was becoming one of those people who refuses to grow up—one
of the city’s Lost Boys. I was still subletting in Greenwich Village, instead
of owning in Brooklyn Heights. I had loved everything about Yale Law School—especially
the part where I graduated at 40—but I spent my life savings on an abiding
interest, which is a lot to invest in curiosity. By never marrying, I ended up
never divorcing, but I also failed to accumulate that brocade of civility and
padlock of security—kids you do or don’t want, Tiffany silver you never
use—that makes life complete. Convention serves a purpose: It gives life
meaning, and without it, one is in a constant existential crisis. If you don’t
have the imposition of family to remind you of what is at stake, something else
will. I was alone in a lonely apartment with only a stalker to show for my
accomplishments and my years.
I was
amazed to discover that, according to The Atlantic, women
still can’t have it all. Bah! Humbug! Women who have it all should try
having nothing: I have no husband, no children, no real estate, no stocks, no
bonds, no investments, no 401(k), no CDs, no IRAs, no emergency fund—I don’t
even have a savings account. It’s not that I have not planned for the future; I
have not planned for the present. I do have a royalty account, some decent
skills, and, apparently, a lot of human capital. But because of choices I have
made, wisely and idiotically, because I had principles or because I was crazy,
I have no assets and no family
As I said, this should end the envy and resentment, shut
down the evil eyes that women, in particular have been casting at Wurtzel.
Unfortunately, it has not.
Amanda Marcotte could not refrain from kicking Wurtzel
while she was down. With typical indecency she wrote:
Wurtzel
… has long existed for seemingly no other reason than to make other writers
want to stomp about in impotent rage. … Her latest word dump swirls around the
fact that she is very sorry to find out that she, like all other human beings
on the planet, is getting older.
One might have understood if a tower of feminist resentment
like Marcotte had been offended by Wurtzel's not being a feminist. Yet,
Wurtzel is a radical feminist. More than many, she has lived the
feminist nightmare.
Her most recent article illustrates nothing more or less than what happens when you
live your life psycho-pharmacologically while following leftist principles.
Marcotte was chagrined to imagine that Wurtzel’s life
choices would show up on feminism’s account.
One feels Marcotte’s pain. Wurtzel’s version of feminism sounds
like perfect idiocy. She is contemptuous and disrespectful of women who live more conventional lives:
I am
committed to feminism and don’t understand why anyone would agree to be party
to a relationship that is not absolutely equal. I believe women who are supported
by men are prostitutes, that is that, and I am heartbroken to live through a
time where Wall Street money means these women are not treated with due
disdain. But I also don’t get it: Even sitting through a carafe of Italian wine
with a guy who worked in private equity felt like being handcuffed in the back
seat of an unmarked squad car: The next stop is jail. And a lot feels
potentially imprisoning to me: To get through every day, through a job of
staring at pencil marks in spreadsheets through glassy eyes, through humoring a
husband who has not sold a screenplay in six years and is writing a new one
still, through telling everybody your three basic children are talented and
gifted—I know that people who do these things are happy because happiness is the
untruths we tell each other and ourselves or it would be unbearable. But I
would rather not. I would rather be sad, and sometimes lonely, but at least not
suffering the silly.
Wurtzel’s opinions are not coming from the moon. Didn’t the
sainted Betty Friedan famously say that being a suburban housewife was akin to
being imprisoned in a concentration camp?
Yet, one likes to think that Wurtzel understood, as she
wrote that dreadful paragraph, that she ought to feel some shame for her bad
attitude.
Of course, to feel shame you have to believe that you might
have done otherwise. And Wurtzel has drunk too much of the cultural KoolAid to
grant herself even a semblance of free will.
At the least, she seems to be saying, she is paying the
price.
Inadvertently, Marcotte lights on an important point. Nothing
about pills tells you how to make good life decisions or to hold yourself
accountable for your decisions.
If your life is a testimony to the effectiveness of pills, you are likely to
seek a biochemical solution to problems. Wurtzel became famous for having glorified Prozac,
but she has also abused heroin and cocaine in massive quantities, and once
wrote a book about her addiction to Ritalin.
A recent New York
Times article showed how Wurtzel had marketed Prozac:
In her
1994 book “Prozac Nation,” Elizabeth Wurtzel wrote of a nearly transcendental
experience on the drug. Before she began treatment with antidepressants, she
was living in “a computer program of total negativity . . . an absence of
affect, absence of feeling, absence of response, absence of interest.” She
floated from one “suicidal reverie” to the next. Yet, just a few weeks after
starting Prozac, her life was transformed. “One morning I woke up and really
did want to live. . . . It was as if the miasma of depression had
lifted off me, in the same way that the fog in San Francisco rises as the day
wears on. Was it the Prozac? No doubt.”
Pills are one thing; principles another. Wurtzel has followed the nostrums prescribed by the therapy culture: to live your dreams and to follow your bliss.
Thus, Liz Wurtzel chose, in her late 30s to go to law
school. On a lark.
She did not want to practice law. She was not really suited
for the daily grind of legal work. And yet, she had always wanted to go to law
school, so why not.
After all, she could afford it.
She graduated from Yale Law School, and managed
eventually to pass the bar. But, she spent all of her savings on this lark,
only to discover that the profession did not suit her.
Wurtzel is also the poster child for those who claim that we
should be open and honest, that we should overcome our sense of shame and that
we should live our private lives in public.
Recently, journalism teacher Susan Shapiro bragged that
she requires all of her students to write an essay on their most humiliating
experience. Hamilton Nolan attacked the idea for inducing future journalists to
look away from reality and into their souls.
Wurtzel's life offers more cautions against Shapiro's dreadful idea. She has demonstrated that if you make a career out of
memoir writing, your will have to fill your life with experiences that will
excite and entertain your audience. It's a special form of martyrdom; sacrificing your life for your memoirs.
Beyond that, memoir writing will dampen every potential
relationship.
When you exhibit it all to the world, everyone you meet will know more about you than you
can ever know about them. Thus, the give-and-take of sharing personal information
will have been undermined before the fact.
7 comments:
Great post, so full of insights I'll have to read it again at a less hurried time of day. Although I have never liked Wurtzel, and loathe her brand of feminism even more than I loathe nearly all the other brands, this story actually causes me to feel sympathy for her. Anyone who sincerely writes,
"[H]appiness is the untruths we tell each other and ourselves or it would be unbearable," deserves pity. Wurtzel may deserve it even more so, since her sad philosophy seems to be just a prop for the ideology that's making her miserable. That is, she seems to be telling herself, "Since no one's 'happiness' is true, my true UNhappiness leaves me no sadder than anyone else, and makes me more worthy than others, because my ideology is pure."
Unfortunately, I recognize this same constellation of attitudes and behaviors -- right down to the memoir-writing impulse -- in several unattached, unhappy female friends / acquaintances of mine. Perhaps Wurtzel Syndrome is, well, a syndrome.
If so, perhaps it should be called the "Van Beuren Syndrome," after a classic Van Beuren Studios children’s cartoon from the early 1930s. In it, a group of unhappy elves do battle with a group of happy elves, and the unhappy elves keep repeating, “I don’t want to be happy, I want to be sad….” I've long felt this cartoon captures an essential truth about human nature...(see http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Clx-aAxKiQM)
"She graduated from Yale Law School, and managed eventually to pass the bar. But, she spent all of her savings on this lark, only to discover that the profession did not suit her."
Spending all your *savings* on law school is actually a relatively positive outcome in Law World these days.
And I'm not being sarcastic.
What is occurring right now is that law students are coming out with six figures of debt into a legal market than can only support half of them.
So, she managed to avoid the six figures of debt.
On the other hand, she now has no money, and apparently no new marketable skill...
I don't know the story about her bankruptcy filing, but I would be curious to know whether it had an effect on her debt situation.
I miss the days when you could openly laugh at losers instead of sitting through them trying to sell you their misery for profit.
While it is absurd to call a wife who doesn't work a prostitute, based on the selections you posted Wurtzel seems to be a very good writer. I'd heard of Prozac Nation but I've never read her before.
Exactly... some of what she say is completely absurd, and yet, credit where credit is due-- she writes very well.
I have been surprised to see that many of those who might otherwise agree with her are attacking her writing.
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