One of the best ways to improve yourself is to emulate those who are more powerful and more successful.
Thus we are all interested in what Berkeley psychologists just identified as a good habit that powerful and successful people share. To the best of my knowledge it does not show up on Steven Covey’s list of seven habits of highly effective people.
It is: thick skin, that is, insensitivity to mild insults.
If you have chosen to follow the conventional wisdom and are working to enhance your sensitivity, you are on the wrong path.
Thus, people in positions of power and authority are quick to recover from insults. They are so secure that they do not feel rejected by a mild slight. They do not sulk away or produce a grand drama. They reach out and try to reconnect.
So, if you want to succeed, get over yourself.
Science Daily reports:
A UC Berkeley study has found that people in authority positions -- whether at home or in the workplace -- are quicker to recover from mild rejection, and will seek out social bonding opportunities even if they've been rebuffed.
"Powerful people appear to be better at dealing with the slings and arrows of social life, they're more buffered from the negative feelings that rejection typically elicits," said Maya Kuehn, a doctoral student in psychology at UC Berkeley and lead author of the study.
Note well: powerful people are quicker to recover from “mild rejection.” They do not take it personally and do not consider it a sign that they have been consigned to social oblivion. The study does not explain what they do when faced with severe rejection: one suspects that they are not so quick to ignore it.
Most mild insults are inadvertent and unintentional. If you get so offended that you strike out in anger you will have transformed the slight into a grand drama, thereby diminishing yourself, your power and your authority.
If it should happen that you do not have the power and authority that you feel is your due, developing this habit can show that you are ready for it.
Unflappable poise and confidence tells everyone that you are or should be in charge.