Somehow or other the word “feminism” never enters these articles, but where do you imagine that the modern habit of demeaning, degrading and ridiculing men comes from?
We are not talking about something that occurs behind closed doors. Being contemptuous of men, making them look like fools has become the new, modern way for women to attack men.
One might say that the assaults men commit against women are far more serious. One would probably be right. And yet, life is a two-way street and the feminist habit of assaulting men with derisive remarks must produce a hostile cultural environment.
To the feminist mindset men are chronically misogynist. Women who mock said men are merely defending themselves.
The men who are subjected to this form of emotional abuse—why do we not consider it abuse when it is inflicted by a woman on a man?—sometimes lash out in anger. Sometimes, they run out and cheat. Often, they simply pack up and leave.
All things considered, no man can lash out at a woman, physically or verbally. The culture is so hypersensitive to the incidence of male-on-female violence that the least hostile remark by a man will be grounds for indictment.
Since men are no longer allowed to get angry, more and more of them leave.
If you are asking yourselves where America’s absent fathers are, and if you note that a large number of children grow up without a father in the home, you might consider the off chance that some of these emotionally abusive wives have driven their husbands off.
And yet, ironically, these wives are ridiculing their husbands for not being very good… housewives.
It’s the modern feminist’s way of keeping her husband out of the kitchen. If you were confused by feminism before…
Aside from the fact that feminism has made it open season on men, these forms of emotional abuse are ways for women to validate the wonderful work they do in the home.
They are saying that their work is so difficult that no man can do it well.
Call it self-affirmation at someone else’s expense.
Heaven forfend, but enterprising young single women have occasionally tried to exploit the situation. One shudders to think it but some young women are not above poaching other women’s husbands. If they are as clever as I think they are, they do not do it by practicing the lessons they read in Cosmo and they do not do it by exposing a little more cleavage or hiking up their skirts a couple of extra inches.
The key to a man’s heart is not through his stomach, but through his pride.
Are you a woman who wants to poach another woman’s husband? Try telling him this: If you were my husband I would never let you do the laundry.
Game. Set. Match.
Why has this topic reared its head?
It seems that Chicago Bears quarterback Jay Cutler sent a text to his wife, one Kristin Cavallari in which he bemoaned his difficulties taking care of their children in her absence.
Apparently, this wealthy young celebrity couple never heard of Nannies.
Cavallari shared Cutler’s text with the world via Instagram. Ashley McGuire of the New York Post then reported it.
How much do you want to bet that Cutler risks being seriously mocked in the locker room once the new season arrives? How will this little problem affect his ability to lead his team’s offense? How many women will be happy to console the dejected QB?
The problem will not be that Cutler was overwhelmed by young children, but that he allowed his wife to make him look like a fool in public.
McGuire points out that it has become acceptable for women to make a mockery of their husbands:
It’s somehow become culturally acceptable for wives to mock their husbands, and this is bad.
Men don’t like to be mocked. Neither do women, but I rarely see a husband mock his wife, especially when it comes to being a mother. It’s a sort of sacrosanct territory that a man knows better than to stomp on.
And yet I see women mock their husbands all the time. And I don’t mean tease. I mean derisively mock and shame, to their face and behind their back.
Some women will say here—I know it because I hear it all the time—that they limit their derision to lunch with their girlfriends. Not only is this improbable but women are far less successful at hiding their contempt than they think. If a woman feels it and thinks it, her husband knows. It’s like the man who is cheating on his wife but who insists that she does not know. Don't bet your marriage on her ignorance.
McGuire remarks that one consequence of this new cultural attitude is that more and more children are being brought up without fathers. This despite the fact that some men put up with the abuse and stay in their marriages, regardless.
I’m not the first and I certainly won’t be the last person to say that there is a “fatherhood crisis” in America. A third of American children are now growing up without their dad in the home.
And while there are promising signs that those fathers that do stay with their children are becoming more involved in their lives or at least want to be, this is still an area that needs improvement in American society.
But I can tell you one way that women can ensure that men won’t help more with their kids: Mocking them when they falter. Posting their “please help” moment of desperation for all to see.
To sustain her argument McGuire linked to an article from the Daily Mail. The article, by Frances Childs, dates to 2011. It shows that the problem McGuire identified had previously been identified.
As Childs described it:
Sophie pours another glass of wine. Shaking her head, she sighs heavily. ‘He’s such an idiot. I can’t leave him alone for five seconds. God knows what sort of mess I’ll get home to tonight.’
We all nod sympathetically. ‘Mine practically blew the microwave up last time I ventured out for the evening. He’s so useless,’ says Lisa, pulling a face.
She isn’t talking about her monosyllabic teenage son — she’d never be so rude about him. In fact, although the lad has been twice suspended from school and rarely logs off his incessant computer gaming, Lisa never ceases to boast about his incredible talents and intellect. It’s her husband of 17 years she’s roundly and publicly criticising.
Our husbands’ sins range from never emptying the dishwasher to being emotional retards who are criminally incompetent at childcare and let our homes go to rack and ruin through lack of interest in DIY.
And I know we are far from alone. Get any group of women together and you can be sure they’ll talk about their husbands — and it will rarely be complimentary.
It’s become so commonplace to run down our spouses that Sally Bercow, publicity-mad wife of the Speaker of the Commons, felt totally at ease painting her husband John as a henpecked domestic drudge on national television.
Gleefully informing her housemates on the trash TV programme Big Brother that she makes John mop the kitchen floor and empty the dishwasher while she has a cup of tea, she appeared to think that belittling her spouse somehow made her look interesting.
I can’t in a million years imagine men talking about us with such vindictive nastiness. But belittling your husband has become not just acceptable but even de rigueur. And what’s worse, if you don’t participate in husband-bashing, you’re often cold-shouldered; it’s as if you’re a disappointment to the sisterhood, a sad little wifey.
The worst part, Childs avers, is that women have gotten into the habit of demeaning their husbands in front of their children:
More than once, I’ve seen mothers and children in cahoots, exchanging raised eyebrows over yet another ‘job’ that Daddy hasn’t done. In sharing tales about men’s incompetence, women are coming dangerously close to normalising a corrosive and lasting disrespect for fathers that can only have devastating consequences.
Research carried out by the University of Kent last year demonstrated that by the age of eight boys believed girls were better behaved and more successful than they were. Surely these negative opinions of their gender are down to boys growing up in a culture that routinely derides and ridicules masculinity.
As we know, slut-shaming is a terrible, terrible problem. Shaming one's husband, no problem at all.
Another victory for feminism!