Should She Call Off the Wedding?

Sometimes you can’t make this stuff up. One hopes that this is a fabulation, but it is so appalling that it’s probably true.

Consider it a cautionary note, to be appended to last week’s post about marrying Bridezilla. You see, in the letter sent to Carolyn Hax, a woman vetoed her future husband’s choice of best man, the husband’s best friend, and insisted that he be demoted to groomsman. The man responded by saying that he would not attend the wedding at all. The letter writer, being the best friend’s mother, wants to know what to do? Should she attend the wedding?

I will not recall my sage commentaries on that post, but will introduce a situation reported on Reddit, re-reported in The Daily Mail, where the bride-to-be had some very good reasons for rejecting her future husband’s choice for best man. You see, the prospective best man is doing everything in his power to prevent the wedding from taking place. He says he does not believe in marriage, or something. He accepted the role of best man on the condition that he could offer a toast explaining his objections to marriage.

And he has also threatened to hire a prostitute for the bachelor party, the better to induce his best friend to cheat with the pro-- thereby causing the bride to cancel the wedding.

So, aside from the fact that the bride has some very good reasons for not wanting this man to attend her wedding, we should also add that her future husband’s failure to rein in his best friend-- to say nothing of his taste in friends-- speaks very ill of him. Why does she not simply take a hint and call the whole thing off? Yes, we understand that she has been together with her fiance for seven years. But, now, are you telling me that she has not figured out the best friend yet?

So, here is the story, via the Daily Mail:

A bride-to-be says her husband's best friend has been calling marriage a 'mistake' since he was asked to be the best man at their wedding — and now he plans to try to sabotage their relationship by hiring a prostitute for the bachelor party.

The future bride, 27, wrote on Reddit that she been with the groom, 29, for seven years, and they plan to tie the knot next spring.

But from time the groom asked his childhood friend to serve as best man, the friend has said repeatedly that the groom should dump the bride and sleep around instead, and he even intends to encourage him to cheat at the bachelor party in hopes of derailing the marriage. 

The bride shared the troubling scenario, saying that she has been left 'angry and hurt' by the best man's behavior and wants to disinvite him — but unfortunately, she is facing some resistance on that front.

She said that her fiancé, Peter, and his best friend, Matt, have 'always been close,' so it was natural that Matt would be the best man. But things were strange from the moment Peter asked him. 

'Matt agreed without much enthusiasm, and on condition that he'd be allowed to always tell what he was thinking,' the bride wrote.

'From that point, anytime we would get together he would ALWAYS, without fail, bring the subject of marriage and how he absolutely didn’t believe in it, that he thought Peter was making a mistake and would be better off dumping me and sleeping with random girls. 

'Peter talked to him multiple times, and each time he said that he’d been allowed to speak his truth and so we couldn’t ask him to shut up.'

Now, we could solve this problem if Matt would call off his engagement and marry Pete. Are you that sure that Matt does not have a mad crush on Pete. It sounds like they deserve each other. If Matt's best friend is so thoroughly devoid of character, it tells us something about Matt, something that is decidedly bad news. Marrying Matt means that Pete will be part of her life, forever.

Clearly, the choice is Matt’s. If he cannot rid himself of his repulsive friend, the bride should call off the wedding.