Does True Love Cure?

It has long been an article of faith-- let’s not call it science-- that romantic love cures neurosis. Some even believe that falling in love and having a good love relationship are crucial to recovery from all sorts of emotional and mental distress.

The recent research, from Potsdam, Germany of all places, suggests otherwise. No one has quite connected it to Freudian theories about how libido is the instrument of treatment. So, I will make the connection.

First point, from researcher Eva Asselmann:

“Nearly everyone would intuitively agree that romantic relationships greatly affect how we feel,” said study author Eva Asselmann, a professor of differential and personality psychology at the Health and Medical University in Potsdam.

Presumably, when people fall in love they feel better. And yet, true love does not constitute an accomplishment or achievement. Therefore, the thrill tends to wear off.

Asselmann continues:

“Our study suggests that well-being changes due to major romantic relationship events (e.g., a marriage or breakup) are only transient. In the long run, they affect our well-being much less than one would intuitively assume. Other factors (e.g., how we behave and treat each other in everyday life) might be much more important for enduring happiness and satisfaction in and beyond romantic relationships. Targeted interventions could be useful to promote happiness beyond the first year of marriage or to screen for serious mental health impairments shortly after a breakup.”

I have highlighted the important phrase here. It’s not about falling in love but about how you behave in your everyday social interactions. Are you courteous and considerate or do you turn every encounter into psychodrama?

Apparently, socializing is more beneficial to your mental health than is true love with the One.

Think about it.