The Cure That Works

I don’t need to tell you that the psycho world is chockablock with theories about the cause and treatment of mental distress. And, given that physiological conditions like psychosis and bipolar illness are often classed as mental illnesses, the situation becomes seriously confused.

So, some imagine that depression and anxiety are caused by chemical imbalances. Others tell us that unresolved trauma is behind it all. Still others emphasize bad mental habits and even bad physical habits, like poor diet and lack of exercise. Finally, we arrive at the touchy feely explanation, which claims that you are suffering because you have lost touch with what you really feel or what you really want.

Each and all of these will cause you to repair to a practitioner, because we know that you cannot do it alone. You are incapable of solving your problems without the intervention of a licensed, credentialed professional.

Those who want to go back to Freud will declare that romantic love is the key, that you need to find it and cultivate it-- the better to overcome your distress.

I have long since rejected this viewpoint, in favor of a different theory, whereby the key to good mental health is social connection. That is, friendship. Now, we have some evidence for my own view, from John Anderer:

“We’ve always had this hierarchy of love with romantic love at the top and friendship seen as second class,” said Marisa G. Franco, a professor at the University of Maryland and author of “Platonic: How The Science of Attachment Can Help You Make — and Keep — Friends.” “We are constantly fed the message that the romantic relationship is the only one that matters.”

He adds:

People with strong friendships tend to have better mental health and studies suggest they’re in better physical health, as well. Researchers have found large social networks lower our risk of premature death more than exercise or dieting alone.

Better yet, having a lot of friends also improves your general health:

A six-year study of 736 middle-aged Swedish men found having a life partner didn’t affect the risk of heart attack or fatal coronary heart disease — but having friends did. A 10-year Australian study found that older people with a lot of friends were 22 percent less likely to die during the study period than those with few friends. Notably, having a social network of children and relatives did not affect survival rates.

Obviously, this means that loneliness is bad for you. The Washington Post explains:

While having friends is good for your health, not having them can be detrimental. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, loneliness has been associated with higher rates of depression, anxiety, and suicide. For older women, loneliness and social isolation can increase the risk of heart disease by as much as 27 percent.

Loneliness is essentially the perceived gap between the relationships you have and the relationships you want in your life, said Adam Smiley Poswolsky, the author of “Friendship in the Age of Loneliness.”

Clearly, friendship does not thrive on drama. It does not thrive on intemperate expressions of emotion. It does advance by a display of something more banal-- kindness:

A little bit of kindness shown toward others can help beat feelings of depression and anxiety, according to a new study from The Ohio State University. Scientists report that performing good deeds leads to notable mental health improvements not seen in two other therapeutic techniques commonly used to treat the conditions.

As for the basis for human connection, the key seems to be kindness:

Perhaps just as importantly, study co-author David Cregg, who led the work as part of his PhD dissertation in psychology at OSU, adds that acts of kindness toward others was the only studied mental health intervention that resulted in subjects feeling more connected with other people.

“Social connection is one of the ingredients of life most strongly associated with well-being. Performing acts of kindness seems to be one of the best ways to promote those connections,” Cregg explains in a statement.

The study also shows that acts of kindness are helpful for fighting depression and anxiety because when we help others, it takes our minds off of the negative thoughts that otherwise would be consuming our attention. This finding in particular indicates that a common perception many people share about others with depression may be wrong, according to study co-author Jennifer Cheavens, professor of psychology at Ohio State.

There you have it. The cure for depression and anxiety-- without your having to consult with a professional.