Thursday, September 23, 2010

Where to Get More Sex

It's not entirely true to say that everyone wants more sex. Some people are happy with the sex lives they have. Others would do with a bit less. Still others prefer quality to quantity.

Of course, it's a lot easier to measure quantity, so Men's Health limited its survey to the quantity of sex acts. And they broke down the survey geographically. Link here.

See also, this and this. Via Instapundit.

They must have reasoned that the states are competing against each other to see who has the most sex. It's March Madness for adults.

The results suggest that where you live has some influence on how much sex you get.

If more sex is not enough for you, and if you want to know where in America you can get the most sex, the answer is: Indianapolis, IN.


You would think that the libertine and liberal coastal enclaves, the places where people have attained levels of sexual freedom never before experienced in human history, would be a lock to win the competition.

The truth, according to the statisticians, is that you will have more sex in flyover country, in Middle America.

After Indianapolis, the next most sex-filled cities are: Columbus, OH, Fort Wayne, IN, Cincinnati, OH, and Salt Lake City, UT.

But, you have never been to Cincinnati and have never even heard of Fort Wayne. At least, now you know why you are not getting your fair share.

The news does not get any better as we go down the top ten list. Filling it out are San Antonio, Denver, Austin, Boise City, and Chicago.

That leaves you with a little hope. After all, Austin is reputedly a rather liberal and free-wheeling place, and Chicago, even if it not on the coast, at least distinguishes itself as being a metropolis. I couldn't help but wonder if its citizens are getting lots of sex because their city rose to prominence by being: "the hog butcher for the world."

That might explain something, but I'm not sure what.

You are probably less interested in knowing where you can go to get the least sex, but, to each his own, so it's only fair that I inform you that you will get the least sex in Lexington, KY.

Strangely, Lexington is in the same region as the cities where you can get the most sex. Go figure.

The ten worst cities for sex include two from Alabama and two from New Jersey. You think that the Jersey shore is the sexiest place in America, but their lubriciousness does not seem to extend to Newark and Jersey City.

I have no idea of what is going on in Alabama, and, for once, I will refrain from speculating. After all, I have friends in Alabama...

But, what happened to New York? It is hard to believe that New Yorkers are also-rans in this sexual derby.

After all, as duly reported on this blog, the great cosmopolitan metropolis has given us a magazine named for the city that has been running "Sex Diaries" that give us the impression that New Yorkers are wildly oversexed. Link here.

Aren't New Yorkers bigger and badder than everyone else? Aren't they all getting it on all the time? Apparently not.

Fear not. There is some good news here. Let's call it a consolation prize. New York is Number 1 in the country in purchases of sex toys.

If you want less sex but better business at your Babeland franchise, open shop in New York.

It is not just some statistical anomaly that New York is leading the nation in dildos and vibrators and the like. Also on the list of top ten cities for sex toys are: Seattle, Los Angeles, Washington, DC, San Francisco, and Philadelphia.

You would think that this was all a function of the amount of sea salt in the ocean air, but the rest of the list includes cities like:  Chicago, Atlanta, Houston, and Austin.

To ensure that we do not jump to any conclusions about the relationship between the number of sex toys purchased and the number of sexual experiences completed, two cities are in the top ten on both lists: Chicago and Austin.

It looks like we will have to have a runoff for the title: Best of all possible worlds.

Anyway, the results should not be that much of a surprise and they should not be that much of a mystery.

Everyone knows that the best way to have the most sex is to be involved in a committed relationship. Or, better yet, to get married.

Yes, we have all read the horror stories about sexless marriages, but the truth, according to the statistics, would seem to point in a different direction.

A single person who aspires to have as many sexual acts as a married person would have to expend an enormous amount of effort and work. Even the most accomplished pick-up artist will not be able to compete with your average Middle American couple when it comes to sex.

I hope that that doesn't ruin your day.

1 comment:

Dennis said...

Having lived in Indiana I can state that I am not surprised to see Indianapolis and Fort Wayne on the list. I have to say that I may not post a comment very much, but do enjoy your blog.