Thursday, August 1, 2019

A New Treatment for Depression

It’s here, right now, a new treatment for depression. Of course, it might not be a treatment for depression, but at least it doesn't cause the same problems as other chemicals.

Note that I did not say “the” treatment for depression. Lucky for all of us, because there is probably not one single treatment for all types of depression. We already know that exercise works wonders for depression, as do certain diets. We also know that some forms of cognitive therapy are useful and we should add that learning how to conduct yourself responsibly and honorably will also improve your mood. They will all improve your relationships with other people.

Anyway, enough of that. The latest in scientific discoveries involves nothing other than dark chocolate. You know all about dark chocolate. It’s good for your health. It’s even better than milk chocolate or white chocolate.

The Daily Mail has the news, from a serious scientific journal:

People who regularly eat dark chocolate are less likely to be depressed, researchers have claimed today.

Scientists quizzed more than 13,000 people about their chocolate consumption and symptoms of depression.

They found volunteers who reported eating any dark chocolate were significantly less likely to report any clinical signs of depression.

However, no such link existed among volunteers who reported eating milk or white chocolate, according to the experts.

University College London researchers admitted they could not prove chocolate combats depression and experts said further trials are needed.

However, they said chocolate contains a number of psychoactive ingredients - including two forms of anandamine, which produce a feeling of euphoria similar to that of cannabis.

Dark chocolate also has more antioxidants, which reduce inflammation in the body – a reaction that some experts believe is linked to depression.

However, the team admitted it could also be the case that people who are depressed eat less chocolate because their low mood makes them lose interest in eating sweet treats.

It was pretty good news, until we got to the end. For all they know, people who are less depressed have a better appetite for sweets. Then again, it might be that people who are more depressed tend to become more compulsive and more addicted to psychoactive substances like chocolate. When your sweetie is not around, maybe some sweets will serve as an adequate replacement. If they do, I am not sure what this says about your sweetie.

Anyway, if only for the antioxidants, we should all chow down on dark chocolate.


UbuMaccabee said...

Fat people are depressed. No wonder, they are fat. Put down the dark chocolate bar, fatty, it wont help. Soon you'll be depressed--and diabetic.

Here is the layman's cure for depression: Make a list of all the things you don't want to do but should do. Do those things with a single-minded focus for one year. Since I already know that you lie to yourself, hire someone to evaluate your progress objectively so you have a harder time bullshitting yourself.

Evaluate your depression.

Sam L. said...

I'm not depressed, but eating dark chocolate certainly sounds like an UPPER.

whitney said...

Milk chocolate is so much better. Dark chocolate depresses me but not as much as white chocolate. Yuck