Thursday, August 25, 2016

Another Reason to Quit Psychoanalysis

As everyone knows, Freudian psychoanalysis requires the patient to say whatever comes to mind, regardless of how obnoxious or how trivial it is. I have often pointed out that this manner of speaking is unnatural and abnormal. Thus, psychoanalytic treatment, among its other detriments, trains people to master the bad habit that it calls free association.

If psychoanalysis is conducted properly the patient will develop a habit that will make him dysfunctional. Some people feel good about being dysfunctional, but, as Jason Notte points out-- in an article that does not mention either Freud or psychoanalysis-- saying whatever comes to mind, running your mouth and being generally indiscreet will tend to impoverish and immiserate you. It will make it far more difficult to become wealthy, because… here is the important point… being wealthy and successful requires you to get along with other people and to do so you need to display a high standard of decorum and propriety.

One ought to ask how many therapists, Freudian or not, promote such values and teach people the best ways to get along with other people.

Anyway, Notte explains:

Amassing wealth and maintaining it requires building relationships and cultivating partnerships, which are difficult to accomplish when you're running your mouth about anything that comes to mind.

You will be happy to note that this can all be measured. And that it has been measured, by a financial advisory firm:

A recent survey by international financial advisory agency de Vere Group discovered that the wealthier classes covet civility as much as any luxury item. It recently asked 830 clients who have investable assets of more than $1.3 million which subject was the most difficult to discuss with family, friends and colleagues. According to responses from the United States, United Kingdom, Hong Kong, the United Arab Emirates and South Africa, there is a global consensus that prizes silence about certain topics for the sake of decorum, public perception and maintenance of personal relationships

Tact and discretion, there you have it. In an age of oversharing and overexposure you might not agree with the point, but people who care about getting along with other people, and whose livelihood depends on it, understand it well.

Notte writes:

With social media only amplifying discord once reserved for the loud guy at the restaurant or the less-tactful relatives at a family dinner, it's worth looking at the wealthy's taboo topics and determining if discussing them with anonymous strangers is any more fruitful than bringing them up in awkward face-to-face interactions:

No family relishes an aunt's retelling of her latest goiter operation, complete with disgusting detail. They tolerate it even less at a dinner table where they're ostensibly attempting to enjoy a meal without it being rendered unpalatable by each passing phrase.

Considering how important personal relationships are in cultivating and maintaining wealth, there's a reason why the wealthy avoid the topic altogether. 

Notte recounts some topics that are off limits and out of bounds in polite conversation. Obviously, they include the vulgar and the obscene, but they also include topics about which people have very strong feelings: like religion and politics. And, of course, you do well not to discuss how wealthy you are over the dinner table… or anywhere else.

5 comments:

Seryhastutitkw Diarbsaudi said...
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Dennis said...

Translation please. This assumes that this is a honest attempt at communication.

Trigger Warning said...

Are you "sharing"?

:-D

Ares Olympus said...

Notte explains: Amassing wealth and maintaining it requires building relationships and cultivating partnerships, which are difficult to accomplish when you're running your mouth about anything that comes to mind.

Its interesting that Donald Trump seems to be a counter example, although perhaps steam-of-consciousness talking is okay once your wealth has already been amassed, and you're surrounded by yes men trying to collect a cut of your bounty.

But this truthism maybe still bites back. In Minnesota's passive-aggressive style, the MN-GOP has conveniently forgot to elect alternate electors for Donald Trump. It looks like Trump forgot to cultivate his Midwestern partnerships.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/the-fix/wp/2016/08/25/how-donald-trump-almost-missed-the-ballot-in-minnesota-and-what-that-says-about-his-campaign/
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It turns out Minnesota Republicans skipped over one rather banal but important step: electing alternates for the electoral college. Minnesota Republicans elected their members to the electoral college — the people who actually cast the ballot for president and vice president — at their state convention in May. But apparently they forgot to elect alternates for those electors, a necessary step in Minnesota to certify your party gets on the ballot.

The state party's leaders got together and appointed alternates to try to fix the problem, and all their paperwork is expected to be in line to have Trump on the ballot this week (the deadline is Monday). But it's not clear that appointing alternates rather than electing them is even allowed under state party rules. Brodkorb told The Fix the party leaves itself vulnerable to legal challenges that could potentially knock Trump off the ballot again.
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Anonymous said...

Maybe another example of topics which should be off limits is injecting over-the-top political bashing into conversations that are about something else.

Amazing.

"Oh, here is a discussion about tennis. Let's discuss how unsuited Trump (or Hillary) is to be President."