Sunday, August 28, 2016

The Last Word on Weed

Thank God for Charles Barkeley.

A few games before his first NFL pre-season game, Dallas Cowboys running back-- first round draft choice and future Emmitt Smith-- Ezekiel Elliot was caught visiting a marijuana dispensary in Seattle.

Need we say that Jerry Jones, owner of the team, was incensed. But, Charles Barkeley said it all in an interview on a Philadelphia radio station. When asked to comment on the Elliot situation, Barkeley said:

"That's just stupid, man. He's [Ezekiel Elliot] got to be smarter than that. I mean, that's just stupid. It's like Ryan Lochte, that's just stupid. Just tell the truth and apologize ?

"I'm like, c'mon man, you gotta be smarter than that. I'm not a marijuana guy, I think I've told you, I smoked pot like five times in my life. All it did was [make] me want to eat potato chips. It was a waste of my time. I didn't feel no euphoria, it didn't take me to no special place, I just said, 'Do we have any more potato chips in the state of Alabama or Pennsylvania?'

"This guy thinks he can just walk into a marijuana store, legal or not, it's just a bad look. Sometimes I watch sports today, I'm like, you've got to have some common sense."

There you have it, the ultimate purpose of marijuana: it makes you want to eat more potato chips. And while you're at it, Zeke, grow a brain. 


Ignatius Acton Chesterton OCD said...

But marijuana is good for you. It's the best thing since aspirin. What's the big deal? It's a victimless crime. Jones is acting like a plantation owner. The NFL is like the Suthern Confederacy. Will Elliot stand for the national anthem in this racist country where he makes millions? Where is Obama to say the NFL acted stupidly?

Sam L. said...

Ig, are you channeling your inner Ares, though in a highly edited mode?

Ares Olympus said...

Stuart: There you have it, the ultimate purpose of marijuana: it makes you want to eat more potato chips.

Humans do nearly unlimited stupid things that are a waste lots of time (and money). And perhaps spending $40k/year locking people up for victimless crimes stands near the very top?