Tuesday, June 5, 2018

High School Teacher Punishes Trump-loving Student

Until this very morning I had not heard of the website Resistance Hole. It seems to be a spinoff of The Onion, thus counts among as satiric. Today’s story presents satire with a sting. Good satire always aims at something resembling the truth… and allows certain people to laugh at themselves.

Today’s story. A high school teacher has done what every freedom and justice and equality loving teacher would and should do. She punished a freshman student for wearing a Make America Great Again cap. How did she do it? She stopped having sex with him. Lysistrata Redux. I am sure the story warms your heart. Another tale of a strong empowered woman standing up for her convictions.

Without further ado:

Fair warning to all you Drumpf lovers out there: You might want to keep scrolling past this story, because a Resistance smackdown this epic may be too much for you to handle: A student in this Toledo, OH high school wore a MAGA hat to class, and his incredible teacher’s amazing response was to completely stop having sex with him every day after school.

Absolutely perfect. Now THIS is how you secure a W for the right side of history!

As soon as ninth-grader Eric Rollins walked into her morning social studies class sporting his MAGA hat, his teacher, 34-year-old Amanda Higgins, stepped up by immediately pulling him out into the hallway and telling him point-blank that she would no longer be meeting him in secret to have sex in the football field snack stand during study halls. Yep, this teacher is the kind of heroic lover of freedom who simply refuses to have an affair with any student of hers who supports Trump’s despicable administration.

How’s that burn feel, Drumpf lovers??

Amanda Higgins is a culture warrior. She is taking a stand against bigotry—especially against ageist bigotry. And she is teaching young Eric an invaluable lesson:

So. Epic. It’s not always easy to take a stand in a world where bigotry of all kinds has become the norm since Treasonous Trump took the reins, so it’s absolutely thrilling when someone like Amanda Higgins claps back by telling her Trump-supporting student that she’ll no longer be having sex with him in her car after he’s done with wrestling practice. That 15-year-old MAGA shithead just found out the hard way that actions have consequences.

Ms. Higgins, we salute you! The Resistance believes that you deserve to be having sex with a student who believes in freedom and equality for all—not a hateful and bigoted Trump supporter like Eric. Let this be a warning shot to all you Dump lovers out there: If you support this corrupt administration, your days are as numbered as the president’s, because there are plenty more badass takedowns like this on the horizon!


Sam L. said...

If true, the teacher would be a sexual predator. I rather doubt the story is true, or "trueish". On the other hand, it does sound like a teen-aged boy's dream.

Ares Olympus said...

Sam, Stuart noted it was a spinoff for the Onion. Ah, here's something on its main site:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ClickHole The Guardian said that it was unclear whether ClickHole is "a satire of clickbait, or good satire done as clickbait"